Roswell “Pilot” Photo Recap – Welcome Back to the Crashdown Cafe

Ahhhhh, Roswell, a town filled with angst, aliens, and smooching. Always has been, always will be. The show is based on a series of books called Roswell High, which “chronicles the adventures of three teen aliens and their human friends.”

Some of you may know the original show adapted from those books, Roswell. Ah, who am I kidding, ALL of you know that show. It shaped the hearts and minds of a generation, and probably launched the first shipping wars. Dawson who? Ammiright?

Whether you’re new to the story, loved the original and are excited for this reboot, or are hate-watching it out of solidarity, you have to admit, the pilot delivered on everything we’ve come to expect from a CW show. It had romance, it had drama, it had intrigue, and it had abs.

The pilot paid homage to the original series while also going in its own direction. I respect that. If you want to see a carbon copy of the original, then I suggest just watching the original. But if you want something fresh with a hint of nostalgia, then watch on, my friends.

It has been recently pointed out to me that every CW show starts off with a character narration, and I was like, ‘nuh uh!” but then… yuh huh, you guys. YUH HUH. Anyway, Liz gave the audience the haps on the alien crash and the military and all the things that we already know from the previous show or the trailer or history class.

Hello Max, you dreamy dream boat! It was clear from this very awkward/loaded interaction that these two know each other, and not in a ‘we were on the debate team together’ kind of way.

Oh, and we met Sheriff Valenti, who is a lady! Love it. I hope her role isn’t reduced by having the army dude taking over as the antagonist.

After messing with an alien conspiracy nut, Liz had a cute reunion with her dad and then threw on the classic server uniform we all know and love, antennas and all. Then a certain dreamy dreamboat came in to visit and things got weird.

She was shot, and Max alien-healed her (with a very intense poo-face, might I add), then he ran off to catch the shooter. This was a great way to honour the original show while also being different. In the original, the shooter was robbing the diner, but this time it was a hate crime (or so we’re lead to believe).

I guess Max was running on empty after healing Liz, so he mind-called his sister Isobel (who was in the middle of some sexy times with her husband) to come give him a boost. She gave him some nail polish, and he was like, “hmmm, gimme that sweet, sweet juice.” I’m sure we’ll see more on that later.

Exposition is hard, especially in pilots. There’s no natural way to do it, so best to just slap it out there and move on. Anyway, Liz asked Kyle (who she used to date, in case that wasn’t clear), to scan her for bullets and maybe insanity.

Hello Michael! It was very fitting that our first introduction to him was in jail for being drunk and disorderly. From this interaction we learned that he’s a moody loose cannon who answers to no one! Oh, and also that he can move objects with his mind.

Both he and Isobel were very peeved at Max for saving Liz and risking exposure for them all.

The gist of this scene (in case you couldn’t hear the dialogue over their intense sexual tension) was that Michael was getting kicked out because the military bought the land his trailer is on. Oh, and Alex just got back from Iraq. Oh, oh, and the main antagonist army-guy is Alex’s dad. Oh, oh, oh, and Alex lost half a leg. Oh, oh, oh, oh, and Michael and Alex clearly have a history. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and Michael has a piece of their ship that glows or something.

We saw a flashback of Liz and Rosa girl-talking about Liz’s crush on Max, which was pretty sad considering Liz was at the memorial where Rosa died. She apparently was high on pills and crashed her car, killing two others, which is why the town now hates her whole family.

Extras on TV shows are always such asshats.

Liz, you sneaky minx! She had him suckle on a straw a bit, then stole it to do some DNA testing, because Liz ain’t no fool!

Hi Maria! She’s a bartender who does palm readings and was Liz’s best pal in high school. Other than that, we don’t know a whole lot about her. It’s impossible to fit everything into a pilot, so Maria got skipped. I’m assuming / hoping she’ll get fleshed out in later episodes.

Ohhhhhhhh, this scene hinted at SECRETS and MYSTERIES involving Liz and the Aliens Three. It also gave us the line in response to Max being told to fall in love with someone, anyone else; “It’s been ten years. If I could have, I would have.” Which made all of us swoon, don’t lie.

Liz got a little tipsy and made out with her ex in his car (who hasn’t been THERE ammiright, hahahahaha, isn’t that just SO relatable you guys? Haha, yeah, I’ve had experiences like, um… like this because… I know what it’s like to be touched by another human, hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaha *cries*). But whoopsie, he caught a glimpse of a glowing hand on her chest.

She got understandably curious, so she tested the DNA from Max’s milkshake of deception and saw some weird shit. Luckily for her sanity, he had already decided to spill all the tea.

He showed her their… I wanna say egg sacks? And she was immediately 100% into it, wanting to know all the science, and also wanting to get to smoochin’.

He pulled away because their psychic connection is in effect for a week, so she’s feeling what HE’S feeling, and it’s like making out with someone who’s very drunk and just saw you playing with a puppy – not fair.

Meanwhile, Kyle had told Colonel Sergeant General Alex’s Dad about the glowing hand, and was immediately and without question indoctrinated into the Anti Alien League.

We didn’t get to see Kyle’s take on this. I think we’re meant to believe that he’s a d-bag, but…. Pppppfffffftttttt, okay, show.

Then it was time for a high school reunion! The odds of this happening the day Liz returned home after a decade was roughly “CW-level”. Anyway, Michael was all, “if Liz is the worst, then you’ll have to mess with her mind… AGAIN.” Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnn. Which means Liz left town because Isobel implanted the desire to do so within her mushy human brain. Curiouser and curiouser! Do we think Max knows?

Get it? It’s their electric sexual tension. Because DAMN, you guys. I am very about this. Anyway, what were we saying? Oh yeah, Alex thought Michael was cooking meth in his trailer because of science, which I’m sure we’ll learn more about later.

Max and Liz showed up to get aggressively stared at, but then Maria put on a song and they danced while Max watched wistfully. Then Michael smooched Alex and I fist-pumped the air.

INTRIGUE! During this vague-off, Isobel was all, “does Liz know about the-” and Max was all, “she can NEVER know about Rosa.” WHAT ABOUT ROSA, you guys??? WHAT????

Oh man, this show has hooked me so hard.

So what did you guys think? Are you on board? If not, will you give it the 4-episode test? Are you mad about the changes from the original, or are you happy it’s not a carbon copy of the first one?

Here’s where I’m at – I liked it. I loved the original, but if I wanted to watch the first Roswell, then I would watch the first Roswell, you know? I want something new. I want to see different mysteries, and different themes.

And I like seeing a TV show that represents what our world is like. I like seeing Latino characters actually played by Latinos. I like seeing LGBT characters, and I like having our current social climate referenced.

The world has changed, and it seems the town of Roswell has changed with it.

SOME STUFF

• I am very jealous of how all these people can instantly flashback to their high school interactions. Any time I see someone from high school I have to half-pay-attention while also frantically trying to remember A) their name, and B) what kind of shared experience we may have had that would elicit some pleasant small talk before I can escape. (If anyone from my high school is reading this, I don’t mean YOU, obviously….)

• Do we think the shot at Liz was all it seemed? Was it some angry person with a vendetta against the Ortechos because of Rosa’s accident, or is it something more sinister? Was the shot even meant for Liz?

• Do we think… I mean, am I crazy, or… is Rosa still alive? Her death is sketchy.

• I can accept aliens and hilarious high school reunion date coincidences, but I can only suspend my disbelief so far. Both this show and its predecessor made it seem like smashing a bottle of ketchup and controlling where the ketchup lands is easy, but it is really very hard.

• Fans of the original – what are you hoping to see in this version? Max getting drunk and exploding lights? The Sheriff Valenti / Aliens Three alliance? Justice for Miss Topolski? Alex being alive?

• And what are you hoping NOT to see? Is it Tess? I bet it’s Tess, isn’t it? Yeahhhhhh, it’s Tess.  

That’s it from me! I will not be recapping this show episode-by-episode, but I will do a recap of the season finale.

I am genuinely curious about what everyone thought about this premier, old and new fans alike, so please let me know!

BYYYYEEEEEEE!