Welcome baaaaaaaaack! Nothing says ‘happy holidays’ more than a hyper-violent, scathing manifesto against capitalism. Pretty sure season two is all about Gihoon moving back to his small town and running into his high school sweetheart who owns a bakery, and the two of them have to come up with a plan to stop a Big Business from tearing down the community centre and ruining the Holiday Hop. Very excited for this, to be honest, it’ll be nice to see Gihoon catch a break.
Let’s huddle up real quick before diving into whatever delightfully bonkers social commentary this season of Squid Game has in store for us. First things first (literally) I photo recapped season one if you haven’t read it and want to know what you’re getting into. But you don’t need to read it in order to understand all the deeply intellectual and poignant jokes I will be making throughout this recap.
The last we saw of our intrepid hero lovable doofus, he’d made a more drastic hairstyle change than someone who just broke up with their college boyfriend, and made the daring yet potentially misguided decision to take down the games.
Let’s hit play and see how he fares!
BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHA WHAT. Well. Episode one certainly started things off with a bang (yes, these are the kinds of subtle puns you can expect from such a high brow recap).
The most unrealistic thing about this entire episode is a child agreeing to give an adult five minutes of alone time in the bathroom (ammiright, parents?? High five).
After Gihoon decided he was morally against airplanes because of the effects they have on the environment (that’s what it was, right?) he went to a public bathroom to get buck ass naked and inspect his body for a tracker, which he found and then CUT OUT WITH AN EXACTO KNIFE. Does NO ONE in this fictional universe believe in ointment??
What a fun cameo! Gihoon’s brain gave him a fun reminder of the brutal murders of his pals before he got a visit from his old loan shark who he hired as a more expensive version of find-my-friend. It seems for two years he’s been searching for Gong Yoo so he can come slap him again (no judgement).
Why were all the gangsters accidentally so CUTE?? Do they always ride around in vans together like this?? Why did they all have to be there? Did anyone else feel like they were about to break into a round of Wheels on the Bus?
They had to send selfies at every stop to prove they were actually searching, and look, I know they’re loan sharks who assault people for money, but this was adorable and I love them all (I’m sure it’s fine).
Thank you, show, for revealing almost immediately that Hot Cop was saved by a mermaid and woke up yearning for the sweet lilt of her beautiful voice (you will not convince me otherwise).
After being shot off a cliff by his potentially evil older brother and rescued by a mermaid, Junho tried to police his way to justice, but none of the evidence made it through (you’d think a billion dollar murder island would have better wifi) and without it they couldn’t do much. In his disappointment, he decided to be a tragically handsome traffic cop. We all cope in different ways! Including but not limited to sailing the seven seas!
For the past couple of years, Hot Cop and this jaunty gentleman had been roaming the ocean looking for Squid Manor, but after a storm almost took them out, he decided it might not be the best course of action. This fisherman (who found him the day he was shot off a cliff) (or maybe he’s the mermaid in disguise, at this point we can’t rule anything out) seemed very alarmed to be losing their quality time, and FAIR ENOUGH Mermaid Fisherman!
These two give Abbott and Costello energy, and I am ATTACHED (I’m sure it’s fine). They followed him and were treated to a day in the life of a dreamboat sociopath.
He bought a hundred buns and a hundred scratchers, then offered people (on hard times) a choice between the two. Most people chose the scratchers and lost (corruption in the Korean lotto system?? Why didn’t ANYONE win??) so naturally the next move was to dump all the bread on the ground and do a manic jig of carb carnage.
He took off again, and of course Abbott and Costello followed him like the obedient, adorable pups they are (it’s FINE).
So what if they were both beaten unconscious and woke up tied to chairs and forced to play a death match of rock paper scissors? It’s not like this show is going to make me care about someone and then brutally murder them in front of my eyes and the eyes of their loved one.
Okay, but, how fatal is being shot in the head, really?? I’m sure it’s… fine? He can walk it off.
This was so brilliantly done. The rules of the game, the pace of the scene, the fact that in the end, gangster-dad sacrificed himself for his gangster-son. I’m upset in a good way, especially knowing this is probably the one and only time the show will make me care about someone and then rip them away in the most brutal way imaginable. One a season is enough, right?? Phew.
I’m also happy Gong Yoo got more screentime this episode because he’s clearly having the time of his life playing the role of delightful psycho-killer.
Meanwhile, Gihoon was learning the life lesson that hunting down a massive murder-game organization was no excuse for speeding. He was pulled over by none other than Hot Cop himself! And though Junho never actually saw him, he did get a whiff of Gihoon’s au-de-revenge as he drove off, so he used his cop-skills with a side of parkour to track him down to his love motel.
But first! Gihoon went home to discover the object of his obsession had found HIM instead (the dream) and they had a nice little chat about backstories.
Turns out this dreamy lunatic started out shoving bodies in furnaces as a grunt in the games, then was promoted to be a guard. The perks were pretty great, he got advanced training, full dental, and as an extra treat, he got to commit some patricide. Everybody wins! (Except his dad, he decidedly did NOT win.) Then he became the Recruiter, had an awesome little meet-cute with Gihoon in a subway, those two crazy kids hit it off, and the rest is history!
It appears the recruiter held himself to same strict integrity of the games: once the rules are set, they must be followed. At any point, both men could have turned the gun on the other, but then they’d be proving the other right: a fate worse than death!
In the end, our lovable doofus ‘won’ and the Recruiter shot himself just as Hot Cop was pulling up to the motel.
And that is how you end an episode of television!! I have to be honest, knowing the writer/director hadn’t originally planned on a season two for the show, I was a bit skeptical. But seeing this first episode, I’m optimistic season two is going to deliver a harrowing romp.
SOME STUFF
- I’m so happy Gong Yoo got the chance to shine as this bonkers dreamboat.
- Did the higher ups of the game know where the Recruiter was?? Was he going rogue? Do they now know where Gihoon lives?
- PLEASE have Gihoon and Hot Cop team up. PLEASE. I love a reluctant team-up so much.
- So… Gihoon’s daughter… thinks he’s dead, maybe? And did he really just leave Saebyeok’s brother (Foxy Pickpocket from season one) with Sangwoo’s mom and dip? Was she volun-told to raise a child she doesn’t know?
- We got a brief glimpse of Yim Siwan as a future player, along with his maybe-girlfriend who is maybe-pregnant. Intrigue! It’s going to be very difficult not to find him absolutely adorable, but I’ll try my best (we all know I’ll fail).
- If you found a tracker imbedded somewhere in your body, would you cut it out with an Exacto knife in a public bathroom, OR would you mess with the people tracking you by walking the city in the pattern of a dick and balls?
- It truly does not take much to get me emotionally invested in a character, but the fact that they made me care about the loan shark who beat up Gihoon in a bathroom in the previous season and LICKED HIS BLOOD… not sure what it says about me, but let’s not pretend you all weren’t with me.
- Snooping is Hot Cop’s favourite thing. That boy LOVES snooping.
- Never forget the image of Psychotic Gong Yoo leisurely sipping on a little yogurt drink.
- Do we think there are more naked butts in our future?
- On a scale of one to SIGN ME UP FOR THE GAMES SO I CAN HAVE A CLOSER LOOK, how excited are you that Squid Game is back?
Since I’ll be recapping episode-by-episode, I’d like to ask anyone who inhaled the entire season faster than I finished the entire lemon pie my sister made for our whole family (THIS IS A JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE) to not comment with any spoilers, since people reading may not have finished, and I personally won’t be watching the next episode until I’ve posted the previous.
OKAY THANKS FOR COMING STAY SAFE OUT THERE
Toni Watches 