You know when a good friend moves away and you think it’s the absolute worst thing to ever happen, and you cry for weeks into your New Kids on the Block pillow? Then a couple of months go by and your friend comes back to visit and it’s like they never left! You’re back to choreographing dances and making fake radio shows that are 80% fart jokes, and you feel silly for ever thinking the friendship would die with the time apart.
You guys, The 100 is back. Let’s take a moment to really savor this moment. Going into any second season, there’s always a fear that the changes will be too severe and you’ll no longer feel connected to the characters you once loved. Well, fear is for dummies, you guys, because the premier episode of season 2 was just delicious. Where are my socks? Knocked right off my feet, that’s where they are (so, I guess on the floor?).
If you partook of my season 1 recaps, you’ll know that my very favourite part of this show (besides Monty and Jasper’s adorable way to high five) is the speed with which the plot barrels towards blowing our minds apart. The first season was just 13 episodes, and a lot of shit went down! This means big changes for the show. The split-story plot was great for 13 episodes, but how much longer could that have been interesting? There are only so many radiation-soaked nuts, ammiright?
Anyway, let’s jump into this episode and address the thing that I KNOW has been on all of your minds:
THE TOILET. You guys, the toilet is just out there for all to see. And they were FILMING IT. So the first thing we learned about the Mountain Men is that they’re total pervs.
Then Clarke made a new friend.
Oh Clarke, you’re such a scrapper! I loved this moment. There was an intense juxtaposition going on between these two lovely ladies, and the audience could identify with both of them. Clarke was a violent aggressor, protecting her people, while a frightened Mila Kunis-ish complied in order to survive. What we’re seeing is the difference between a chick who’s been through some shit, verses a girl who hasn’t had to experience the harsh outside world. It changes you, man!
Anyway, new girl led Clarke to a quaint little scene.
Clarke was NOT into it! I don’t think she likes pancakes. Anyway, everyone freaked out and men with guns came to take her away.
Then the writers did us a solid by not dicking around about who was dead and who wasn’t. Bellamy was running through a forest! I would have preferred him to be wet, but I’m not going to nit-pick.
It’s nice that these two are still alive. Perhaps this season they’ll get names. Anyway, they stumbled upon yet another teen hunk in a predicament.
Finn had been taken by Tristan and it didn’t seem like they were headed for a vacation spot. Tristan cut the throat of Finn’s nameless traveling companion, making things a little awkward for the rest of the trip.
Meanwhile, Octavia and
Dave Lincoln were dealing with the poisoned arrow that was still sticking out of her leg. And you guys, the antidote was made of BEETLES.
If I ever accidentally ingest a poison where the only antidote is gnawing on some beetles, just start planning for a very elaborate and showy funeral, because no.
Back at the dropship, a leftover grounder was scrounging for trinkets amongst his deep-fried pals when he found a beautiful, perfect Goddess hanging out on the ground.
Raven shot him! Oh Raven, how I’ve missed you. The only thing that could make this glorious moment even better is if- OMG behold – the Beautiful Creepster!
Haha, remember that time he shot her? Man, Beautiful Creepster, you’re not great at picking up on social cues. Anyway, then Raven chose to shoot him (the gun was empty, but still). It’s a strong choice as far as story goes. It shows how she’s changed, how she’s willing to take a life. I know she blew up a bridge, but this is different. This would have been straight-up murder. Welcome to town, Dark Raven. Can I get you a lemonade?
We checked in on Clarke and met the Mountain King.
This man is toeing an exquisite line of perfectly pleasant / sadistically creepy. I mean, he eats humans, right? He has to. Look at that mug of his! Anyway, Clarke wanted to skedaddle because her two love interests were still on the outside, but he vetoed that. INTRIGUE!
They had a nice expository chat about why the Grounders and Hundred can survive outside, and why the Mountain Men can’t. It’s because of science. Science did it. Science is a dick sometimes.
Then there was a reunion! Yay!
There was a running hug with Clarke, Monty and Jasper, then everyone else was like, “meh.” Hahaha, I mean, she was ALL OF THEIR leader, right? Did she give a shit about any of them? Did they know who she was? Or were the other Hundred just doing their own thing?
At this point I almost threw a temper tantrum because my darling Raven was spitting up blood. Don’t you dare, show! DON’T YOU DARE. But the Beautiful Creepster helped her out and they had a moment.
Then Bellamy, Red Shirt and Braid McExtra went to save Finn!
What an amazingly comical moment amidst such violence! It felt very Little Rascals, and I loved it. Anyway, because the no-names are such wieners, Bellamy got his ass handed to him by Tristan.
Octavia was having a bad trip from the poison, so Lincoln scooped her up like it ain’t no thing and carried her off. But there was a lookie-loo watching them!
Yes! Yes a thousand times and beyond. I have been hoping, praying and whispering wishes on the wind that we would see radiationally challenged mutants. Oh happy day! Thank you to everyone who made this happen. (And yes, I know a Goonies reference was a little easy, but LOOK AT HIM.)
Back at Mountain Manor, Clarke was doing what she does best – being a total downer.
Jasper wasn’t in the mood for it, so we went to get his flirt on. But look who crashed:
Clarke stole the key card! Once again she has proven herself a wily trickster. Oh Clarke, never change. She outran a bunch of guards, vandalized a vault door then ran up what looked to be hundreds of stairs. Girl is in SHAPE.
Jasper talked her down in an incredibly touching scene. Both Devon Bostick and Eliza Taylor deserve high fives and ice cream.
My one beef about the premier episode is that it was trying a little too hard to endear Murphy. You know I love a good redemption story, and we’re all aware of my deep, undying love for the Beautiful Creepster, but this was jamming it down our throats a little too hard, you know? His “I don’t want to die alone” moment with Raven and the fact that he was helping her was enough for one episode. Maybe his tragic backstory could have waited for another time?
Elsewhere, the Red Shirts decided (too little too late) to save Finn and Bellamy. Just when we thought they were going to perish, look who showed up and shot Tristan in the face!
Kane! It was Kane, you guys. My heart leapt. As they traveled back to the dropship to meet up with their pals Kane basically told the boys to run along and play.
They ran around the back way. Oh boys! You guys know that all I want, all I’ve EVER wanted, is a bromance between Bellamy and literally anyone. Bellafinn? Finamy? I’m very happy right now.
Abby obviously didn’t find Clarke, but she did find an almost-dead Raven (DON’T YOU DARE) and the Beautiful Creepster. Bellamy was understandably upset, so they had a kerfuffle.
Ugh, Kane! You were doing so well! I know you love order, but there’s no need to be a bum-face. He arrested Bellamy for the kerfuffle, and didn’t seem to care that Murphy was a murderer. Priorities.
Then Clarke had another nice chat with the Mountain King.
By the end of the episode, though, Clarke seemed to have come around.
OR DID SHE??? Girl was drawing a map of Mountain Manor, and that doesn’t seem like the actions of someone who doesn’t plan to stir shit up.
Just as we thought the episode was coming to a close (with a killer montage of our favourite characters scattered across the Earth, to an awesome song), we got a surprise ending scene. Look who’s still alive:
You guys, I’m not going to lie to you, I thought the season 1 finale was the perfect way for Jaha to exit the show. He “died” a hero. Jaha isn’t a terribly essential character, and killing him at the end of the season felt right. So, when this little tag on the end of the episode started, I actually rolled my eyes. “This guy?” I said aloud to my empty apartment. “Really? They’re going to have to come up with something pretty damn spectacular to keep me interested.”
Then a baby started crying.
Well, guys, that’s it. The first episode is over and done with, and we only have to wait one week until these wondrous, violent characters bloody up our TV screens again. What did you think? Did it meet expectations? Exceed them? Were you just so happy to see everyone again that you didn’t care what the plot was?
I’m looking forward to whatever zany hijinks the writers come up with next!
- Seriously though, does the new girl look like Mila Kunis, or is it just me? With a dash of Melanie Diaz?
- Was that Rekha Sharma as the doctor? IMDB won’t tell me. We’re in a fight, don’t ask. If so, that’s yet another Battlestar alum. What Battlestar actor do you want to join the cast next? Adama? Six? That snarky fighter pilot who was always with the quips?
- Where’s Anya at, you guys? Do they have her in a holding cell? Did they kill her? Did she escape by bribing the guard with her awesome jacket?
- His name is Lincoln, and he grew up by a giant Abraham Lincoln statue. A little on-the-nose, Grounder parents.
- On a scale of one to a quadrillion, how excited are you that The 100 is back?
[Originally Posted October 2014 on tv.com]