You guys, I’ve never read the reviewer’s rule book (can’t risk the paper cuts), but I’m almost certain it states that you can’t like every episode of the show you’re reviewing. Every once in a while you have to say it’s “too slow”, or “doesn’t make sense”, or it “spent an entire season on a farm with not enough zombies”. Basically what I’m saying is that I’m very sorry I’m such a terrible reviewer because THIS EPISODE WAS AWESOME.
Everything I have thus far complained about (memory loss, character slides, preposterously super-human recoveries, etc) were eradicated in this hour of delightful, violent teen adventure.
There was something for everyone! We were graced with the comedy stylings of Monty and Jasper (heart you guys!), the horrific violence of attempted murder, emotional character development, plot forwarding, intrigue, and someone’s lips touched another person’s lips!
I am very content, you guys, very content. Let’s pop a few radiation-soaked nuts into our mouths and get this party started!
Miller got all up in Dave’s face, and Dave headbutted him!
Haha, Bellamy did NOTHING. He sat there shaking his head like Dave just told an off-colour joke or something. Was Miller okay? Don’t ask Bellamy, because he didn’t check.
Meanwhile, Clarke was talking to the council. Was I caught in a hurricane last week and missed when the hundred acquired a monitor and two headsets? Did Raven also build these with the toy car they found? Or maybe the arc sent them a care package.
The council told Clarke that there was a bunker of super useful supplies that I guess slipped their mind when they sent the hundred to their probable doom.
Then Ruberonious asked for some alone time with his dead best pal’s daughter.
I half expected Clarke to hike her thumb at the camera and say “this guy, ammiright?” I mean, the nerve of Nitteronious! He’s the one who had her dad killed! The. Nerve.
Then Clarke told Dax that his mom called (don’t say “who?” like you don’t know who he is… it’s Dax! You know… the guy who… um… Dax!) But it wasn’t Dax’s sweet mother on the line (who used to sing to him every night, remember when he told that story by the campfire?), it was the nefarious guard!
He asked our beloved Dax to murder Bellamy! This was the first time it really dawned on me that some of these kids are legit dangerous criminals. I wonder what the Beautiful Creepster did to wind up in the clink (miss you!).
Speaking of Bellamy, he was still in a fight with Octavia.
He basically said she should forgive him because he DIDN’T murder Dave. I hope I never have to use the argument “well, I didn’t murder him!” to get out of a fight with one of my siblings. But to be honest, fair enough, Bellamy! I totally thought you were gonna!
Anyway, then a hot slice of protagonist came to enlist him on a mission.
Then all of our hearts grew three sizes because look who was back!
They have a unique way to high-five, which as we’ve learned from Community, makes any character instantly win all the adorable awards ever created (there are a surprising amount).
Then we got a scene where Clarke redressed Finn’s wounds and Raven displayed jealous hurt feelings like they were on sale.
I suffered an eye-roll related injury during this scene. My face will never be the same.
Then Octavia, being the tricksy minx she is, snuck up to see Dave. They shared some banter, and then she offered to “clean him up a bit”. Haha, Octavia, you ain’t foolin’ nobody!
I guess his name is actually Lincoln, but I saw in his eyes that he identifies more with the name Dave. Like, he is Dave IN HIS SOUL.
Anyway, then Octavia totally mean-girled Raven about her non-relationship with Finn, who was all, “nuh uh!” and went straight to Finn for some sexy times.
Okay you guys, it’s not a secret that I’m not a fan of this love triangle. If I were Raven (a girl can dream!) I would have thrown the water in his face and given him the finger on my way out of his life.
Instead of the show using her forgiveness to keep the love triangle alive, I am choosing to believe The 100 is trying to show the damaging psychological effects of a neglected childhood, and the overpowering need to feel loved when all you’ve known is rejection. Because if that’s NOT what they’re trying to do, the message is essentially “girls are dumb”. Yes, Raven should have bitch-slapped Finn the minute he woke up. Yes, the only time Raven should be taking off her clothes for Finn is to show him what he will now be missing. BUT, her whole life Raven’s mom neglected her, while Finn did not. I can see how in this one case, we can forgive a girl for not realizing her own self-worth and for staying with the only constant she’s ever known. OKAY STOP GIVING ME THAT FACE, I’m done.
Bellamy and Clarke found the bunker, but look who was watching!
They didn’t find anything of use in the bunker, UNTIL…
You guys, I realize Bellamy was holding an assault rifle, and the implications of giving guns to teens is dreadful, but the look on his face was downright adorable. There’s no arguing with that smile!
Back at the camp, hilarious things were happening.
Monty was having what was known as a “good high”, whilst Jasper was having a “bad high” (very technical terms that I researched through books).
Octavia hilariously gave him a “magical anti-grounder stick” and decided to be a total trickster with Miller!
Then the League of Shippers threw a party because Bellamy was teaching Clarke how to shoot a gun.
She figured out that Bellamy planned to leave camp and vehemently tried talking him out of it. But he needed some air because his brain was melting. Quick question, did they set up the target as the doorway? That seems smart.
Bellamy got a nice little trip down Guilt Lane where all of his old friends reminded him what a horrible mistake his entire life had been. Basically just a really great, fun time. You guys, this was the first time we saw what is going on inside of Bellamy regarding all the crap he’s done, and it was honestly very well done.
Clarke was also having a super time inside the bunker, where she imagined pointing the gun at herself and then smiled. CREEPY (and awesome).
He wanted her to forgive her mother, which was actually her subconscious wanting her to forgive her mother, and yet she still said no. So… good talk.
Octavia waited until everyone was tripping and then stole some clothes for
Dave Lincoln. I REALLY want to know what was going on in the mind of Miller.
She set Lincoln loose and they smooched and it was so well done that I totally forgot about the obvious age difference.
But then look who he ran into!
Back in the wilderness, Hallucination Ruberonious was giving Bellamy a really aggressive anti-suicide pep talk.
But then he turned into Dax! Things were looking pretty grim, until…
Clarke saved Bellamy, then Bellamy saved Clarke and they had a nice chat about it beside a fresh corpse.
In all seriousness, this scene was very moving.
It was, however, overshadowed by the most amazing shot in The 100 history:
Jasper cradling the Anti-Grounder stick made me smile so hard, you guys.
Then Bellamy and Clarke returned with gifts for everybody.
Then Clarke and Bellamy had a chat with Pipperonious.
Bellamy was pardoned! What a win for him/the world in general! He told them about the nefarious guard, who was then promptly put in prison.
Then we found out who exactly tried to have Allegorious killed.
It was the hot new council member! I suppose we should have seen that coming. I was just so happy it wasn’t Kane. Redemption still on track, buddy!
Anyway, she killed the nefarious guard to cover her tracks and made it look like a suicide. What a rascal!
You guys, this episode had everything I wanted, and by the looks of next week’s episode, this crazy-train ain’t stopping any time soon. The 100 (like most shows) had its kinks in the beginning, but I’m going to firmly state that the show found its footing around episode four and hasn’t stopped sprinting since.
Is the show perfect? Of course not. Is the show fun? Hell yes! Does your heart weep when the screen goes blank and the credits roll because you know this is the furthest away you’ll be to a new episode? Yes. (Or is that just me?)
- Who’s excited for Dichen Lachman joining the show as a grounder? Seriously, if this is what being stranded on a radiation-soaked planet does, then SIGN ME UP because all the Grounders are babes.
- What do you think Tim Bartlett (our favourite dreamboat extra) was hallucinating about?
- Do you think Dave Lincoln is currently making Finn a friendship bracelet? Would you like to see these two shoot hoops? I would.
- Are you excited the teens now have heavy artillery, or are you horrified, or both?
- Do they have peanut butter on the arc?
K, I gotta jet, there’s a mint aero bar calling my name. See you guys next week!!
[Originally Posted May 2014 on tv.com]