The 100 “The Gospel of Josephine” Photo-Recap; She Loves Dawnce

“Um, yes, hello police? I’ve been attacked. In my heart and soul. Uh huh, heart and soul, that’s right. By who? Oh, a television show. Uh huh. It hurts a lot so if you could- hello? … HELLO?”

This one smarts, you guys. My heart is unwell, and it’s The 100’s fault. A few days ago I tweeted, “what if MURPHY is the one to figure out Clarke isn’t Clarke?” In my head, it was a beautiful thing. His connection to her has always been strong, whether those feelings were positive or negative. They fight. They save each other. They bicker. They hug. They understand each other’s motivations. They fight some more. On and on it goes. So to have Murphy be the one to figure out something isn’t right was an exciting notion to me.

BUT THIS??? He suspected, and maybe would have gotten there on his own if Jo hadn’t flat out told him. And instead of the outrage, grief and vengeance I imagined, our beloved Beautiful Creepster is ready to take a deal to become immortal himself.

I AM IN PAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

The foolish optimist in me wants to believe that he’s playing an angle. Maybe he thinks he can get information from her that will help his friends. Maybe he figures since Clarke is “dead” already, he can get-in good with these cult leaders and protect the rest of his pals. OR maybe he thinks if he gets close with her captor, he can somehow figure out a way to save Clarke.

Or maybe Murphy just wants to live forever.

And the thing about all of this – the thing that’s stabbing me right through the heart – is that this is 100% true to his character. This isn’t some betrayal out of left field. This isn’t a Surprise Mad Queen situation (I’m still salty). From day one, Murphy has been, at his core, a survivor. He’s a cockroach. He’s the one who lives to tell the tale. So, making a deal for immortality with the very person who just murdered someone he loves, is more than believable, it’s a genuine progression of a layered, complex character.

THIS SHOW DESTROYS ME.

Anyway, congratulations to everyone who wanted Bellamy to be the first to figure it out, although every single character was one “chill out” away from getting there. Jo didn’t exactly make it a challenge, did she?

Where are your cookies now, show?? HUH? WHERE ARE YOUR COOKIES NOW??

Kaylee killed Jo! I guess it took 6 years for her to get squirrely about it, and THAT’S why she and her family were high-tailing it outta Sanctum and commandeering alien ships. So Jo killed Kaylee right back, which was only fair.

As we suspected, they told her to keep her Jo-ness under wraps so they could figure out who else from the squad they could turn into a hollowed-out flesh sack.

Meanwhile, Jordan was Nancy Drewing all over New Priya to see just what in the heck was up with his lady love. He brought his air-tight findings (she likes the WRONG FLOWER), to Bellamy and Murphy, whose responses were basically, “bitches be cray.”

Jo is not as smooth as she thinks she is. First she was like, “Madi, you’re late for school, hippity hop!” Then she didn’t understand Grounderish, then the uttered the words “chill out”, and lastly she insinuated to Bellamy that she sexed someone so hard that he won’t recover. I mean, WE knew it was a reference to his death, but Bellamy looked SHOOK.

Jordan was all, “if I wanted an older bro, I wouldn’t choose one with a track record like yours.” At first I was like, “HOW VERY DARE YOU,” then I thought about it for a single second and was like, “actually that checks out, carry on Jordan.”

Xavier, being the dreamy woodland nymph he is, led them into some goop and then skedaddled. Hahha, what a situation!  

Speaking of tricky situations, Abby was in a bit of a pickle about how to save Kane. Turns out every part of his body is like, “can I just die, please?” and Abby is all, “hahahahahha, no,” and every part of Kane’s body is like, “seriously though,” and Abby is like, “LA LA LA I’M NOT LISTENING.”

Jo almost gave herself away by writing with the wrong hand, but then distracted Abby with some nifty science. She walked away with zero info, except that Abby is obsessed with saving KaneAndAbbysSexualTension.

Bellamy wanted to explore the planet so they could find a place for the rest of EarthKru, but the Beautiful Creepster was not sharing his sense of adventure. Someone who WAS ready for some intrigue, however, was Jordan, who had scampered off in search of some GD answers.

WHAT. A room full of human skeletons, that’s what. A ROOM OF SKELETONS, baaaahahahahhahahhaahaahhahahahhahahahahaaaa THIS SHOW IS AMAZING. *wipes tear* I’m just so pleased by this.

Jo tried to steer them away from all the juicy secrets, and everyone was all, “jeez, Clarke, you’re usually all about excuses to murder entire civilizations, and now you want to respect their privacy? Wow, that’s amazing emotional growth, well done.”

Jordan found a secret door (of course he did), and they decided to watch a home movie.

Gabriel what in the love of sweet baby beelzebub is on your face? You should be ashamed! Oh, and also the murder of a bunch of innocent people to bring back one dead chick. You should be ashamed of that, too.

We got to see the first flesh-sack Jo hopped into, and honestly, girl took being risen from the dead like a damn CHAMP. “You brought me back from the dead? No way! High five!” I know she’s this season’s antagonist, but I like this girl a lot.

Back in the present, ‘Clarke’ was trying to very nonchalantly defend these actions, and everyone was like, “why are you being weird?” and she was like, “YOU ARE!” Then they got very concerned for Madi and went to protect her, and by doing effectively put her in danger. They’re gonna feel so duuuuuuuuuuuumb!

Oh, and Murphy was all, “these people have their shit figured OUT. I stan!” But I’m sure that’s fine.

Octavia struggling while Diyoza just stood there life-coaching her was everything I’ve ever wanted out of anything ever. This conversation was magic, and the parallels between these two women are beautiful, especially considering they LED opposite sides of a war like a week ago.

Diyoza knew that Xavier would be watching and tossed the gun away, inviting him for some chats. Before they could really get into it, though, they were interrupted by an unscheduled light show.

Octavia told Diyoza to go, then because she couldn’t get out fast enough, she dunked into the goop. [Can we take a quick sec to fully appreciate Octavia yelling at Diyoza, “save your baby!” MY HEARRRRRRRT] Anyway, Diyoza came back and broke through the glassified-goop to pull Octavia out, rightly pointing out that Octavia must want to live, and I love it, I love it, I LOVE IT.

What did that light show do to our girl?????

Meanwhile, Jo met with her folks to spill the tea on Madi, and they had a nice chat about whether or not to kill our beloved Adventure Squad. Russel was like, “nawwwww, we’re not MONSTERS,” and Jo and her mom gave each other that look that women give each other when men are being especially obtuse.  

The Squad sat around the cafe talking openly about whether or not to be all, “thanks for the kool-aid, but also no thanks.”

“John” agreed with “Clarke” about staying because he’s feeling a bit lazy these days, and doesn’t want to start a whole new civilization. I get it. I haven’t swept my floor since I moved in. Sometimes we just don’t WANT to, you know? Anyway, then “John” was like, “remember that time Abby turned you into a nightblood? What a crazy ride we’ve been on, eh?” And Jo was like, “YOU DON’T SAY.”

Then Jordan kicked up a fuss over Priya straight-up murdering his girlfriend, and Jo used the opportunity to slip out. But look who followed her!

Bellamy knowwwwwwwwwws! They were all speaking Grounderish SO MUCH this episode, and Jo was finally like, “I give up, could someone get me a Grounderish-English dictionary??” And Bellamy was all, “J’accuse!” and Jo was like, “hahaha, yeah, obviously.”

I WILL SLAP A-  how DARE she call our sweet Jackson a war criminal! What is going on inside Abby’s head right now?? The dark year wasn’t Octavia’s fault, and if she hadn’t done what ABBY told her to do, then the bunker wouldn’t have survived. That is FACTUAL. Yes, it turned her a bit bonkers, and yes, she did questionable things after that, but the dark year ITSELF is not on Octavia. And following this strategy is NOT on my precious Jackson!!

And did Abby just conveniently forget that Kane betrayed his people and got hundreds of them killed? You all know how much love Kane, but “good and true” that boy is not. AND you know how much I love Abby, but girl is WRONG right now.

Ugh, anyway. Let’s leave this super upsetting scene and go into-

Jo had overheard Abby being THE WORST, and decided she needed help navigating her morally muddy past in order to manipulate her into creating more nightbloods. So she went to the only person who had been showing support for the Sanctum way of life, “John” Murphy. She played into his fear of dying and offered him immortality for his help.

“My question is, how would you like to be immortal, too?”

“I’m listening.”

WELL I NEVER.

With the Beautiful Creepster’s help, Jo could fool just about anyone. Boy has been in allllll the storylines, and knows all the tea. I wonder how they’ll explain Bellamy’s disappearance as they go about attaining their goals. Speaking of, WHERE DO YOU THINK BELLAMY IS NOW?? What will they do with him?

So how are your hearts? Your minds? Your tummies? Mine are upset, and it’s not just the family-size mint aero bar.

This season has me wishing this was one of those shows that dropped all at once so I wouldn’t have to wait. Although maybe waiting is half the fun, so it’s not all over at once? I don’t even know anymore. What I’m saying is, season 6 is freaking killing it, and I am both pleased and deliciously upset.

SOME STUFF

  • Both Eliza Clarke and Ashleigh LaThorp are NAILING their new characters. Jo’s prissy little hop-step over Kaylee’s body… *chef’s kiss* Someone PLEASE make it a gif, if you haven’t already.
  • Josephine painting a picture OF JOSEPHINE. I love this girl so much.
  • The “breeding program”??? Humanity shmumanity, eh Jo?
  • “Did this ferrari I’m wearing consent to giving up her body?” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA x one million and seventeen.
  • The excuse to get one half of the cast out of the storyline was better this episode. They got to build a radiation shield instead of “watch the car.”
  • MADI ON A SWING
  • “Murphy is kinda cute” – Jo crushing on the Beautiful Creepster is very perfect.
  • WHY DO THEY KEEP THEIR OWN SKELETONS IT’S SO DELIGHTFULLY WACKO I’M SO INTRIGUED.
  • Do you think Jo has ever been a dude? I hope so! I would love if these people just got whoever is up next, no matter the gender.
  • That goop was VERY COOL looking! Good work, props team!
  • “Penny for your thoughts?” – “What’s a penny?”
  • Octiyoza? Diyozvia?
  • Seriously though, HOW ARE YOU???
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21 thoughts on “The 100 “The Gospel of Josephine” Photo-Recap; She Loves Dawnce

    1. so i agree with you, for me and please dont hate me but stop watching the show like in season 3 i think for so many reasons but i keep reading the reviews and stuff because im bellaclarke fan so when i saw that clarke was “DEAD” i start watching again so im know up to speed what is going on withe the primes, but yeah my hope that is murphy is playing double agent but honestly i doubted and bellamy is ok just like kidnapped somewhere because if he is also like body snatched forgetted i will ….i dont know stop watching again the show

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  1. This recap is brilliant and I heartily agree with everything you said. I am still holding out hope that Murphy is doing the double agent thing though.
    And I am ready for Madi to find out about Clarke and for shit to go down.
    (also, if Bellamy is not okay, I may die, because he is my precious)

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    1. I’m gonna say Murphy is definitely playing Josephine/Clark (Jark? Does the name thing apply to bodysnatchers, why not. Oh, and the show and characters also acknowledge that they’re bodysnatchers, hate those shows where the characters are all “You know they have these weird fangs, they also suck blood and they don’t seem to like sunlight much.” yeah, they vampires dude! Whatever…)
      Anyway remember Murphy’s masterpiece was an epic melee, the guy lives to upend any order and civilization and what could be more repulsive and controlling than immortals and their own worship cult? The guy gets cut from the Ark, cut from The 100, he’s Theseus from Continuum for sci-fi’s sake (Long live liber8)
      End Transmission

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  2. Who are you?? D:

    I’m Josie m****f****Lightbourne, beyitch. >:D

    She knows all about bugs and how to deliver some sass, she paints and dances, she speaks all the languages. She figured out Trigedasleng after only hearing it a few times. Ok, ok fine. So she wants to do a little eugenics with the last remaining humans in the universe. whatevs

    Fortunately that hall of skeletons is an all-you-can-eat buffet of Nightblood bone marrow so I’m sure Abby will cook up a big pot of Nightblood serum for everyone. (Chekhov’s Halloween Store)

    Worst light show ever. It made Octavia’s hand all old and gross. Maybe she’ll get lucky and get caught in a different light show that reverses things and makes them younger.

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    1. Maybe the Lightbournes win this one and it’s the end of the 100 and the adventure squad, dun dun dun! Twist! Bad guys win.
      Chekhov’s Halloween Store haha! “Sheesh, it’s a good thing we kept all our old skeletons we were starting to run out of space, since we can’t choose who gets to be a nightblood and our next potential host we keep some of the less wholesome skeletons we wore in a sea-container out back!
      You know I’m digging Octavia’s new hand, it ain’t no tentacle like Emori has but hey who knows, it might enable her to open beer bottles without the twist top.

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  3. Of course Abby is 100% wrong about Jackson being a war criminal. She’s very clearly projecting because she is a broken woman. Bellamy is right, team Earth is different than the Primes because they see the faces of those they’ve killed and feel deep pain because of it. And that includes Abby. And of course she feels the only way to redeem herself is to save the ONLY person who tried to stop the unstoppable. Kane isn’t a saint, he would be the first one to tell you that (though I still think his turn to give up their plan and condemn 100’s of people was 100% bad writing character assassination and makes absolutely no sense), but he has been quite firmly on the side of trying to make peace since the season 1 culling.

    The Dark Year wasn’t actually anyone’s fault, unless someone sabotaged the soy plants. And it isn’t Abby’s fault that she told Octavia the very real facts that they would all die terrible, unpleasant deaths without a protein source. And yes, Abby should have stood up for Octavia. But let’s be real, Skaikru maybe would have listened to her if she stood up in that mess and said “This is a scientific necessity and we can honor our dead by living”, but the rest of Wonkru wasn’t gonna give a crap what she said. So I think it’s unfair of Octavia to act like it was all Abby’s fault.

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  4. I honestly think Murphy is playing Jo. For him to become immortal, first they would have to turn him into a Nightblood, and then they’d have to find/create a blank chip to insert into his brain so that his consciousness could be implanted into future meatsacks. Plus, the Primes consider themselves gods, there’s no way they’re gonna be cool with a new dude crashing their super special club. And I’m sure Murphy’s already though of all this. He’s the master of cunning and deceit. He cares too much now to revert into being a selfish, self serving a-hole. He risked his life to save Bellamy and Clarke just a few episodes ago. There’s no way.

    Dyoza giving Octavia life advice was everything. One violent, ruthless leader to another. She gets it, man. And I love it!

    Also, petition to have Bellamy be the new Jasper and just randomly break into Disney songs! The recaps need more singing LOL

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  5. Also, I think (more like hope but whatever) that Murphy is trying top get information. If not, I will probably freak out.

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  6. Talk about skeletons in the closet literally (sorry had to). So maybe Bellamy is now in a cage, next to his new girlfriend (I joke), Echo has probably figured it all out hours ago, the girl is either off her spy game or she is in the drop ship and just got addicted to Tetris, Zelda or whatever computer games they allow miner/convicts to play in their off hours.
    So I’m now a big Jordan fan, guy just couldn’t sit there and let it go, he had to be all up in Priya’s face with his low impulse control and bodysnatch shaming!
    So is there anyone who can still teach Bloodraina about killing? Turns out there is, so perhaps after all the shenanigans Indra, Diyoza and Octavia could open a dojo for children with attitude problems (spin off).

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    1. So immortals…. yeah, I guess if you get to relax and and hang out with some cool and laid back immortals like Jo L it wouldn’t be so bad, I mean, she kills her bestie but is like “Let them chill a couple of decades and we evens”. She was clever and horny before dying the first time and so that hasn’t changed much. Her relationship with her dad has got a “you little scamp” mutual respect thing going on. I’d be more worried about Russell Lightbourne’s wife, she seems like a buzzkill, imagine a few centuries of someone who always corrects your pronunciation of words or insists you wear your tiara when addressing your worshipers.

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  7. Nope, John is legit wanting to be immortal. When he “died”, he thought he went to hell. He doesn’t want to go back there, so he wants to be immortal.

    But of course, he doesn’t know that he will actually die anyway so that his consciousness can be replaced by someone else’s.
    Josie is totally playing him.

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  8. Love the recaps! Did you see that Bellamy and Clark got married in real life! Bellarke took so long that they got lapped!

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  9. I really like Jo!Clarke, even though I want to despise her for being such a sociopatic little shit. Eliza rocks the bodysnatching.
    As for Murphy, I’m sure he does what he usually does: play all the options until he finds the better choice, probably for his own good, bonus if it can be the good one for his friends too, but meh if it doesn’t. He’s a survivor true and true.
    Where is my gal Indra? Let’s unfreeze her asap! I want to see her face when she realizes that Jordan isn’t a real boy but made of rainbows and unicorns.
    The Devil Duo has my whole heart. Diyoza is so unimpressed about everything, And how is she running like that with her enormous belly? lol

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