Sanditon 2.6 Photo-Recap: In a While Crocodile

BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT. 

Sanditon, I was KIDDING about Sensible Ralph. I mean, I want the guy to be happy, OF COURSE, but not with Charlotte!! I have to give it to the show, that was a great bit. Make fun of the guy through the whole season and then make him the ultimate punchline. Good for you, man! If nothing else, you’ll be a bigger player next season! 

There are certain things I’m happy to have been right about: Alison’s love story is wrapped up while Charlotte’s is (hilariously) left dangling. Colbourne is going to have to put in the work, and whoooooooboy, it better be big. Georgiana is still waiting on her happy ever after (whether that includes a marriage or not, our girl better end this adventure HAPPY and FULFILLED). Arthur continues on his journey of self acceptance, and Esther and Clara… well, it wasn’t perfect, but at least they parted ways the best of best friends. I can’t ask for more (I can and do, always). 

Sidney’s possessions finally arrived from Antigua, and with them came some touching letters that he wrote in the grips of being written off the show death. The most important piece of info was the name of Georgiana’s distant relative fighting for her inheritance… 

The Parkers told Georgiana about Lockhart’s deception off screen, and I’m glad of that. We’ve already seen her go through this. We’ve seen the devastation caused by learning a man was after her money instead of her heart (whether that was true of Otis or not, it’s what she believed). This time, however, was different in a very important way:

She told that boy off GOOD, and the Parkers had her back both figuratively and literally. Look at her! Our girl is FLANKED with support and love. 

There’s such a difference in her relationships from season one to now. I know we liked Sidney, and good for him, he saved her fortune for her, but let’s not pretend he was a saint when it came to Georgiana. When she was under his care she was isolated, unsupported, adrift. When her guardianship shifted to Tom, it became a family affair. She isn’t just a charge of the Parker’s… she IS a Parker, just as Arthur said. The whole family has been supporting her this entire season, and the image of them standing together against Lockhart, well… I never want to see her hurt, but the unity the family displayed was definitely a silver lining. 

Let us remember how this friendship started: hijinks and hilarity, sneak-arounds and freedom, joy and abandon, support and love. These two will lean on each other to heal their broken hearts (yes, BOTH their hearts), to find their self-worth, and also GEORGIANA’S MOTHER. I mean, we all knew it was coming the instant she spoke about her mother with Charlotte. But yay! Something for our girl to focus on in season 3 that isn’t marriage or her fortune. 

This was a fun resolution to season two’s financial problem, and no one even had to marry their scheming ex! Sure, they used fire to put out a fire (this could have gone VERY differently), but it really was the only solution. If they did nothing, the army would cut and run and they’d be left with nothing anyway. At least with this plan they had a chance. And the look on Lennox’s face was positively delightful. 

This scene reached inside my body and gave my heart a thousand paper cuts. Esther was coming down from the drugs and so confused about what was reality and what wasn’t that she wanted to “bash her head against the wall.” And Sir StinkButt SMILED at her distress. He then put on a show about his concern for her and the danger she poses to herself and others. My beloved Fuchs accidentally fuelled the fire by saying she was beyond hope (Fuchs, I love you so much, but get your adorable head out of your ass!). Lady D, sharp as ever, was like, “nuh uh!” 

Just give her some milk from your asses, Lady D, she’ll be grand. 

YESSSSSSS yes yes yes yes a thousand times yes. Clara got very dramatic about it and smashed the glass of magic mushrooms or whatever on the ground, even though she could have just spilled it or taken it away or I don’t know, quickly explained. But whatever, this worked! 

Lady D was understandably like, “ya’ll are the worst! Get your stank butts outta here!” But Esther stood up for her new best friend and MY HEART EXPLODED, you guys, for real, it was so messy and I’m not sure what to do without a heart, but whatever, that was worth it. 

If we cast our memory back to the dark times in season one when Esther was under the influence of Sir ShartPants, what she said makes sense. She had, at one point, schemed with him for the sake of their ‘happiness’ – a beautiful lie he concocted to control her. Esther knows what it’s like to be manipulated by him. Clara is a new mother in a precarious situation at best, making her vulnerable to that same manipulation. 

I have thoughts and feelings about this. Did my heart want Esther to continue to help Clara and for them to be besties who lend each other support and love? Yes. Did I want Esther to be George’s favourite Aunt and for her to spoil him rotten? Yes. Do I understand that I am not the creator of the show and thus can’t get every single thing my heart desires in the exact way I want? I GUESS. 

Look, as a woman of a certain age who doesn’t have and never wants children, I get it, man. I understand that Clara might not want to be a mother. However, that wasn’t the narrative the show set up. It’s not that Clara didn’t want to be a mother, it’s that she didn’t believe she was capable of it. But with Esther’s help, she began to open herself up to the idea, and admitted she loved George more than she thought possible. Sure, maybe that was the show telegraphing that Clara will do whatever it takes to give George the best life possible, including leaving him. But this decision just didn’t seem to fit with the journey she’d been on to this point. She’s essentially in the exactly same place she was at the end of last season: no support, no love, no hope, and running away from the only people who ever gave it to her. 

OKAY LAST THING I PROMISE – but isn’t giving Esther a surprise baby to adopt perpetuating the idea that a married woman isn’t complete until she has a child? I thought were were heading into a story of self acceptance. 

I know I got what I asked for, and I shouldn’t be greedy. These women bonded, they trust each other, they stepped up for each other. Their forehead touch made my eyes leak. I know I shouldn’t ask for more. But I wanted it. I wanted it so much. 

Again, I don’t know how I feel about this, but I truly hope Lady D puts him through the kind of absolute hell that befits a gross wiener such as him. 

Hahahahahahaha these two are just so adorably inept!! Fraser popped by to give Alison a hearty pat on the shoulder and a “good luck, bud!” Then he gifted her his book of poetry. **tee hee forever**

Naturally, they raced to the army shanty, but oh dear, the soldiers were packing up and Captain Fraser was gone forever. **wink**

This was a very posed way to stand in order to shield Fraser that was obviously for dramatic effect for the show, but you know what? I like to think it was for in-universe purposes, too, and the men huddled up like, “it’s going to be such a delightful reveal!” Also – When Tom was like, “Come, Arthur”, he SKIPPED AWAY, hahahahhahhaha I love him so much. 

He proposed! She said yes! Huzzah! 

Charlotte went for a little stroll n’ snog with Colbourne, and they talked about how they’re both in the season two of their lives, and how they should probably just get the heck over it and make out a bunch. So they did! 

Again, I have to reiterate my questions from last recap: WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THEIR FIRST KISS??? Did they Netflix and Chill? Did he offer her some ramen? Did he offer one of his t-shirts she could sleep in? These are the plot holes you have to fill, Sanditon! 

Anyway, Mrs. Wheatley looked VERY sorry to break up their smooch-fest with the news that Leo was missing. 

Leo marched into the army camp and flat out asked Lennox if he was their father. Man, this kid has chutzpah! Lennox was like, “I mean, obviously yes, but for the purposes of this conversation, no.” Leo’s relief as they walked away with their REAL father was adorable. Of course it couldn’t be left at that.

He got in Colbourne’s head about “failing” his wife and how he’s destined to repeat his mistakes, and ugggghhhhhh, Lennox, I hope someone poops in your mouth! 

Charlotte found a happy family scene with Colbourne having morphed from Sad-Dad to Fun-Dad, and she rightfully assumed he was asking her for a private chat in order to invite her into said family. NOPE. Instead she got fired. Mrs. Wheatley (who always knows) was like, “this is dumb, you’re dumb,” which Augusta reiterated and sent him chasing after our girl. 

He showed up at the Parker’s and was like, “I’ve been told I’m dumb, so let’s just go back to internally screaming in each other’s presence and making out with our eyes for a couple more months and then–” but Charlotte was like, “GIRL, BYE.” 

The juxtaposition of the happy wedding versus the Colbourne’s shutting up their house was masterful. Yes, he’s embracing his Fun-Dad role and letting the girls have a life elsewhere, but it also represents the closing of a chapter, the definitive end of something, the loss of hope. Compared to a wedding, where hope abounds, where love and laughter flow… even the contrast in colours is striking: the Colbourne family in dark tones while the wedding guests are bright and cheerful (though worth noting that Wheatley alone wears a light colour because GIRL KNOWS). 

And that, as they say, is that! For now at least. The show presented us with yet another cliffhanger, but this time with the solemn promise that it will rectify all wrongs. Austen never made it easy for her characters, so why should Sanditon? This is the part of the story where Elizabeth refuses Darcy’s marriage proposal, where Edmund is seemingly in love with Mary Crawford, where Anne believes Wentworth will marry Louisa. There’s some shit to get through, is what I’m saying, before we can get our mega-super-happy ending, whatever the show believes that is. 

We don’t always get exactly what we want, which is the point in investing in a story we didn’t create. We get to go on the journey. I’m reading a book right now analysing the narrative devices of Russian literature (doing a masters is a laugh a minute, you guys), and in it I stumbled upon this gem: “[The writer’s] challenge is to use the expectations he’s created, but not too neatly.” Sanditon’s job (as a show invoking Austen), is to eventually meet our expectations of a happy ending, but to surprise us along the way. Will the show give us exactly what we want in the exact way we want it? Of course not. Will it serve us a completion of the story that honours our beloved Austen? Sweet TV Gods, I hope so (and trust that yes, it will). 

• Is Arthur finally going to get his theatre???? That was such a good idea! Then Sanditon will be overrun with ACTORS! Just imagine the delightful chaos. 

• It is even more imperative to get #JusticeForRalph. Poor guy isn’t even a consolation prize! Let this man find reciprocated love, I BEG YOU. 

• The book about Russian literature actually IS quite interesting (if you’re into that kind of thing). It’s called A Swim in the Pond in the Rain by George Saunders. 

• This season reminded us of Otis quite often. If that telegraphs his return, then my request is this: do not pair them together simply because he’s favourable in comparison to Lockhart. I liked Otis in season one. He made mistakes, but he obviously loved her. Give the man an epic redemption deserving of Georgiana. 

• The lovely lady trio sitting on the bed gushing about their crushes was just so joyous and relatable. I know it doesn’t pass the Bechdale test, but not everything has to! Sharing your excitement about a crush is a part of female friendship, and I was happy to see these ladies bonding. 

• I do not want a redemption arc for Sir WienerFace. Let him rot. 

• PUT MARY IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING. 

• Is Babs just gonna be like, “Oh, okay, haha, cool babe,” about raising some rando baby? Honestly? Probably. (I hope we get to see him next season, even if it’s just a Babs Family cameo)

• What will become of Clara and Esther’s friendship? It’s not as though Clara can pop by for visits. Unless SHE becomes the cool aunt? Okay fine, that’s my new headcanon. 

• Knowing what we now know, let’s talk about how perfect the casting of Leo was?????? 

• Um… did the soldiers know what they were doing to each town they abandoned, or was that just Colonel Lennox? They all gathered around to watch the card game, but did they know what they were playing for? Doesn’t seem like Fraser would be cool with ripping off town after town. 

• I felt Charlotte’s “ENOUGH” in my very soul. She has been wooed and smooched and then rejected TWICE. She’s been pursued and manhandled by an absolute brute, and the only emotionally healthy man she’s ever known is off in London learning to build model homes with popsicle sticks or something. I can see why Sensible Ralph seemed like a good option! 

• I wonder what Crowe is up to. Penning dark poetry? Summoning demons? Or did he get a dog and find happiness in a solitary cabin in the woods?

THERE WE HAVE IT! Thanks for going on this wacko ride with me, I look forward to doing this all again for season 3. UNTIL THEN STAY SAFE OUT THERE PALS! ❤️