You guys, let’s give credit where credit’s due: this show does NOT waste time! Narratives in other shows (not naming names, but some of those shows involve vampires) that would take an entire season, have been propelled to fruition with a mere four episodes.
In four short hours, we’ve had major character deaths, sexy times and game changing twists.
When Raven and Abby (I learned her name, guys!) started working on the pod, I was like, “oh, okay, that’ll happen in the mid-season finale). But NOPE, off she goes! When Finn hopped on the train to flirt-town with Clarke, I was all, “that’ll be a slow burn culminating in a kiss during the season finale”. NOPE, they are straight-up getting it on in a bomb shelter!
And instead of a drawn-out trial where everyone tries to decide how to do “the right thing”, we got Charlotte diving into the abyss of child star unemployment!
*happy sigh* I love it when stuff happens in a TV show, you know? It’s refreshing.
The episode dove into the aftermath of Wells’ death, bypassing finding the body, the funeral or any hysterics.
Finn came out to cheer Clarke up with a little magic.
It was a pencil, you guys! Because remember, Clarke is an artist or something. And I guess Finn knew that?
It wasn’t long before Clarke filled any new viewers in on the fact that her mom killed her dad.
This woman has some serious denial going on! The only reason she doesn’t look like a complete dumb-dumb to the viewers is because we all know she’s right. But can you imagine being a regular Joe on the space station and having a medical official swear up and down that the scientific readings coming back from earth are wrong because she feels it. You know I love Clarke’s mom, you guys, but I’m surprised she still has a job.
Also, can we talk a quick sec about Tim Bartlett?
Who is this guy?!? Has he had a line yet? Is he one the rude extras that wanted to kill Jasper? Is he just chillin’ out, building the wall and snacking on some CGI? Inquiring minds want to know!
Anyway, Clarke had successfully taken off her wrist band for Monty, and Finn was giving her the ol’ knowing side-eye.
Bellamy and the Beautiful Creepster were just hanging out watching everyone else build the wall, when Murphy started acting like the Pharaoh in Prince of Egypt (or some other, credible adult movie about Pharaohs) whipping his slaves and denying them water.
The Beautiful Creepster PEED on that fellow! And then he told everyone to get back to work like peeing on people was just a regular part of his day! Haha, oh man, this character is wildly over the top and I love every second of it.
Then Octavia took Jasper for a delightful little walk. He was still a bit sensitive, but we learned it had been at least DAYS since he was on the brink of death.
Some extra grabbed Octavia and Jasper ran out like the adorkable hero he is! Has anyone else noticed that all the extras are dick-bags? All except our beloved Tim Bartlett, obviously. Anyway, Jasper tripped on a tree branch like a damsel in a horror movie and found this:
Fingers! WELL’S fingers!! Hahahaha, oh, poor Jasper.
Then we had a scene with Kane and Abby that seemed tense, but I couldn’t pay much attention because I was just so happy to see him again!
I guess he wanted to see what she up to, but as soon as she said he’d have to get inoculated, he wasn’t interested anymore. That boy does NOT want to get a cold. Fair enough, colds are the worst. I would rather be stranded on a hellish post-apocalypse Earth with unfriendly two-headed animals than have a cold.
Anyway, who can think about a dreary cold when our favourite kick-ass-super-foxy mechanic was on the case!
Abby informed Raven that they needed to take off post haste, and Raven promised to get the pressure whatsit.
Back at camp, Jasper and Octavia brought what they found to Clarke and Bellamy. Obviously, they disagreed.
Bellamy didn’t want the camp to stop fearing the outsiders, while Clarke wanted justice for her friend’s death. Both had valid points.
And all signs pointed to The Beautiful Creepster.
Due process Smoo Smocess. The hive-mind decided to go ahead and kill Murphy.
One important thing to note about this scene: we have now learned that “float” is not just a literal description for being sucked out of an air lock, it’s also a fun synonym for death! That’s awesome! Seriously, I love it when fictional times and places have terminology uniquely their own, like “frack” or “timey wimey” or “second breakfast”.
“Float” is also another way to use one of societies favourite expletives, as we learned in the scene with Raven (*swoon*) and a shady trader.
Naturally, Beautiful Creepster wanted to murder Charlotte because… um…. ? Anyway, Clarke and Bellamy were getting to the bottom of things.
Bellamy went out to confront Murphy, and it went as well as can be expected.
Murphy was understandably upset that no one wanted in on his murder plan, so he did what any Beautiful Creepster would do and bludgeoned Bellamy over the head. But when he opened the tent…
Up in space, Raven played a very convincing sick woman in order to have a super secret meeting with Abby.
Since Raven didn’t want to get busy with some dude for the part, Abby had to take measures into her own hands and trade morphine for it, while Kane looked on suspiciously.
Back on earth, Finn was leading them to the source of his wizardry – a bomb shelter!
Clarke was still pretty upset with Charlotte for brutally murdering her best friend. Fair enough, girl!
Clarke and Finn shared a candle lit conversation about death, destruction and an entire family melting from radiation. It was very romantic. Then they fell asleep on each other next to a known murderer.
Then the shady trader sold out Abby and Raven!
Clarke and Finn woke up from their romantic slumber, but, oh dear! Charlotte was gone! She ran into Bellamy, who tried to save her, but she screamed because I suppose at this point she realized that she was a no-good murderer who deserved what the Beautiful Creepster had in store.
Abby and Raven figured out they’d been turned in, and Abby made Raven swear that she’d go without her. Honestly, that’s likely for the best. Having a mom on the ground would really cramp everyone’s style. I bet Clarke would be so embarrassed. It’s like being that one kid whose mom always chaperone’s the school dance.
Anyway, everybody followed Charlotte’s screams to a cliff (LOL), where they had a standoff.
Did anyone else feel like Clarke and Bellamy were acting like parents watching their daughter plummet to her death? They were both VERY upset over a girl they had known for a week. It’s been a week, right? That’s how long Octavia said it had been since Jasper was speared in the heart, on the FIRST DAY. If I’m wrong, please let me know.
Clarke seemed more upset over the death of Wells’ murderer than Wells himself. Poor Wells. A wiener even in death.
Bellamy was pretty set in his decision to revenge-murder our Beautiful Creepster until a hot slice of sexual tension put a stop to it.
They decided to banish him, and my heart broke. You guys know my stance on this delightfully sinister creepster. I never want this dude OFF my TV screen. I want him to be in every second of this show, and every other show. I want them to go back in time and implant this ethereal creep into every moving picture that’s ever been made. So, the fact that he is now BANISHED FROM THE CAMP has me slightly worried.
I’m guessing the producers know his creepy value, and will keep him around either lurking by the wall, joining forces with the grounders, or building a fort out of scrap metal and pine needles and learning to whittle. If this show was about the Beautiful Creepster meticulously carving a nativity scene, I WOULD WATCH IT.
*Sigh* moving on. Kane was a-comin’ for Abby and Raven, and we learned that the shady trader had given them a bad part. I’m not sure why the storyline needed this if she was just going to use the space suit anyway, but I’m not the writers, I’m just a lady who spends too much time watching TV to ever form any kind of real human connection. HAHAHAHA WHAT, um… anyway…
They had a intimidation contest, and then Abby was arrested.
But then the pod launched! Huzzah!
Meanwhile, the kids were trying to make the wristbands contact the arc.
Oh dear. Looks like there’s no possible way to contact Space Camp, and all hope is lost. And what do teens do when all hope is lost? They make out! Octavia kissed Jasper!
And of course, the moment under 50% of you were waiting for…
RAVEN IS COMING! RAVEN IS COMING! I couldn’t be more excited, even if it was announced that ice cream makes you lose weight.
This episode had a few eye-roll moments, but it was an overall treat. Like I said before, I love it when things happen. I would take cringe-worthy disaster plot lines over a safe narrative EVERY SINGLE DAY.
The 100 has passed MY 4-episode test. Has it passed yours?
See you next week for some more teen adventure time!
[Originally Posted April 2014 on tv.com]