Shit got real!
We got drunk teenagers, skin-eating fog and DEATH, for-realsies-no-touchbacks death. The 100 is stepping up it’s game, and I am pleased as punch.
That being said, awwww… Wells, Adom, random woodland couple, may you rest in peace and get a regular spot on some other teen adventure show.
Let’s jump in!
We knew the first scene was a flashback because it was chalk full of hazy light and blinding lens flares. Plus, everyone was happy and clean. Oh, and look who was still alive:
Is it just me, or did Clarke’s dad look like a melted version of Zeus? No? Yes? Anyway, he seemed like a cool dude, and they were all having a great time. That is, everyone except Shunerbrious.
Guys… does the Chancellor have a thing for Clarke’s mom? Follow up question, does Clarke’s mom have a name?
Anyway, she told Melted Zeus that someone had results of something, and he very casually high-tailed it outta there.
Back on Earth, Clarke was trying to keep Jasper alive and all the teen extras were giving her attitude about it. This show loves disembodied voices being jerks. I wonder if it was the same extra who yelled out “that’s the girl who lived under the floor” when Octavia made her grand entrance. They were yelling things like, “just die already!”
We also got a pretty significant close-up of Clarke using Melted Zeus’s old watch. Did I miss an episode where Clarke went on a mission to get the watch back from the guards? Or are we supposed to put that together in our minds? I’m cool with it, if we are. In my mind she wears a cat-suit and convinces the guard that he’s dreaming.
Anyway, she heard some screams and found a little girl having a nightmare.
We learned that her parents were floated, and she was arrested for “losing it” and “assaulting an officer”. Sounds like violent tendencies, but she’s just an adorable kid, so I’m sure it’s nothing.
You know what WASN’T nothing? The touching moment between two characters we had never met, and knew were immediately going to die. Just kidding, didn’t care at all, BUT it introduced a new Earth-Terror, so that’s fun!
But you know what, those actors gave it their ALL in the half second we got to see them suffering in the death-fog.
We got a hilarious scene where Bellamy showed off how amazing he is at throwing things, and the Beautiful Creepster blamed a dying kid’s wails for his lack of skills. Then Adom showed up and was pretty damn cool about being strung up on a rock.
The Beautiful Creepster making fun of Atom for making out with a hot girl is hilarious to me.
They decided to go hunting for some CGI, but after the Creepster’s disastrous knife-throwing display, Bellamy did NOT want him coming along. Poor little psycho…
Clarke and Wells shared a tense moment just before she cut into Jasper, then we got another glimpse into the greatest love story of all time.
He was NOT havin’ it! I guess being strung up on a rock by your gal’s sadistic older brother can really make a romance fizzle, ya know? While Octavia was confronting Bellamy about it, she heard the unmistakable howls of an adorkable nerd in pain!
Clark was cutting that boy UP.
Bellamy was all for euthanasia because he’s able to make the ‘hard choices’.
Back in THE PAST, Clarke’s mom was spending her time guiltily gazing out the space window when the #1 love of her life came home and dropped some bad news.
Clarke’s mom was trying real hard to stop Melted Zeus from telling anyone, but he wasn’t having it. But look who was eavesdropping like a little gremlin:
Present-time Clarke was trying to figure out what the grounders used as a poultice (did anyone else try to count how many times Clarke has said the word “poultice” in the last two episodes. I didn’t do an exact count, but my best guess is around seventy-four). Wells figured out that it was some kind of red seaweed, and we all know what that means…
They all trekked into the forest, and found a buried 100 year-old car.
Bellamy and his merry men ran into a familiar little girl in the woods, and Bellamy took an instant shine to her.
He gave her a knife for hunting and said perhaps she’ll be good at killing things, because that’s both normal, and a thing you should say to a young person.
The Adventure Squad found the red seaweed, which hilariously only Wells could point out, even though it looked like this:
While the boys were deciding how to safely get it…
Clarke gets shit done, you guys. Then a flock of birds flew by, followed by a very friendly looking tornado. I love how long our heroes stood there staring at it before deciding to skedaddle.
Before we could find out if the Adventure Squad lived or died, we got another thrilling flashback!
So Clarke told Wells her dad’s secret, and apparently Wells tattled. Wha-oh. No wonder she took back her friendship bracelet.
Meanwhile in a cave Bellamy was Charlotte some sage advice, because I guess he’s sensitive now.
And look! The car DID come in handy! They scrambled inside as the death-fog rolled over them. Guys, I don’t know how many of you own “automobiles”, but this is bigger than any vehicle I have ever seen. Maybe in the future roads are three times the size, and people live in their vans? I hope so! That’s a future I can get behind. Anyway, Finn found booze, because of course he did.
I actually laughed out loud (alone in my apartment while eating a dinner of mints) when Clarke was like, “I’m fun. You think I’m fun.”
She laid into Wells pretty hard for betraying her, and Finn just had to sit back and pretend not to feel totally awkward.
Back at camp, the Beautiful Creepster decided to straight up murder Jasper.
But Octavia and Monty (my new favourite super-team, and the beginning of an adorable friendship) had other plans.
Haha, they just SAT ON the door so he couldn’t come through. I love these two.
In Flashback World, Clarke walked in on Melted Zeus was making a video blog.
So naturally she wanted to help him and possibly start a band of outlaws.
But they were rudely interrupted by questionably competent guards, and Melted Zeus was taken away.
The Adventure Squad got out of the van, NOT hungover (ugh, to be a teen again), and started the journey back to the camp.
Finn was onto Wells about perhaps being leading-man-material.
They heard the screams of Charlotte and found a very dreamy burn victim!
Adam asked Bellamy to kill him, but he couldn’t because he’s sensitive now, so Clarke once again took care of business. Quick question: is a neck stabbing really the fastest way to kill a dude, or was it just the grossest? Anyway, Bellamy was very impressed.
You guys! Do I smell a love triangle a-brewin’?? Bellamy was ABOUT Clarke this episode. I mean, she murdered someone, so of course he was. Common interests, and all.
Charlotte watched the whole thing, which I’m sure wasn’t scarring in any way.
They got back to camp, and Octavia was NOT happy with Bellamy when she saw the dead body of her one true love.
But one good thing that came of all this was that the Beautiful Creepster threw his knife properly! Good for you!
We were graced with another flashback, where we actually SAW Melted Zeus get sucked out of the air lock. Not gonna lie, that was cool.
Clarke came to her senses and made up with Wells, which was actually a really touching moment.
It was Clarke’s mom!! SHE turned in Melted Zeus!! Oh man, that suuuuucks for Clarke, but is awesome for us! Why did she do it, you guys? Was she having an affair with Suberonius? What’s important here – it wasn’t Wells. But he didn’t want her to lose her mother too, so he took the blame. I’m sorry, Wells. I misjudged you so hard.
Anyway, then Jasper awoke and the land rejoiced.
Then a very sweet and innocent little girl sidled up to our new favourite bestie to have a chat.
DAAAAAMN, you guys. Just… damn. Remember in the last review when I talked about stakes? And how people actually dying raises those stakes? Well, we just got a great big ol’ helping of stakes, and it smells delicious. Granted, Wells didn’t die from the Earth being a total nightmare-ride of danger, but he DID die. And Adom and the other two nameless nobodies DID die from skin-eating fog, so that’s something.
This episode was bonkers, and I loved it.
– “Oh my God, I can’t see, oh my God it burns” – rando couple.
– What do you guys think Raven is doing? Push-ups? Lighting things on fire with her mind? Whispering our hero love notes on the wind?
– Where was the lookie-loo who was creeping on our teens in the last episode? Do you think he packed up his picnic and hit the road, or is he still watching them with his feet up, snacking on some Smart Pop?
See you next week!
[Originally Posted April 2014 on tv.com]