That’s weird. My seat seems to be unbalanced. It’s almost as if I was SITTING ON THE EDGE OF IT FOR THE LAST HOUR.
At any point in this episode I believed at least half the characters were going to die. Lincoln, Abby, Finn, the Mountain King, EVERYONE. This show loves to throw us for loops / tear out our hearts, so I think I’m justified in my anxiety. I’m going to need some calming tea and maybe a Pingu marathon to relax me after that roller coaster ride.
YOU GUYS. Is anyone else’s heart still pounding? And that was just the lead-up to the fall finale. What the h-e-double hockey sticks does this show have cooked up for us next week?
Let’s jump right in, shall we?
The episode began with a delightful introduction.
One thing this scene solidified is that we now have our very first actual no-takebacks-for-realsies villain! Cylon Doctor is COLD, you guys! Creepy Cage wanted to let the girl in, but the doc was all, “nuh uh, man”.
Goodbye Keenan Mykulak. We may not have known you well, but we felt your plight.
I am uncertain if Cylon Doctor wants to brutally suck all the bone marrow out of the 48 to help “her people”, or if this is just a puzzle she really wants to solve. I’m pretty sure science is this lady’s mistress, and nothing else (for example, the lives of teens) matters.
Meanwhile, back at Arc Camp, Jaha was strutting around like a self righteous peacock who likes the sound of his own squawk.
I got a bad gut feeling during this scene. Jaha swooped in and expected Abby to relent. No way, buster! Pretty sure attempted suicide-redemption is the same as a resignation.
Jaha wanted to retreat, but Abby was all, “but what about our adorkable besties who are getting blood-raped?”. And Jaha essentially shrugged. What a guy.
This was not one of Jaha’s better speeches. Yes, he mentioned the City of Lights, which we all so desperately want to see. However he also outlined the road to get there, which did not sound like a good time. Hey Jaha, remember when you were brutalized because there’s a bounty out on all the “sky people” and “no one enters the dead zone”. What do you think will happen when you make a bunch of tired, hungry space-dwellers trudge through a hostile desert? JUST ASKING.
Bellamy showed up and invited Clarke on a side-adventure-squad to visit Lincoln.
The look Octavia gave Clarke when asking if she can fix him was amazing. These actors are very good at their jobs.
Back at Mountain Manor, the 48 (or more accurately, the 4 plus two mute red-shirts) had decided that instead of waiting around for Clarke to save them, they would be the crafty criminals that they are. This reminded the audience that these kids are on the ground because they were in prison on the arc.
Back at the drop ship, Lincoln wasn’t feeling great. Especially when they shone a light in his face.
Honestly, if anyone did that to me while I was hungover (as Lincoln obviously is), I would freak out and beat them up too (not that I’ve ever been drunk. This is all theoretical, of course. I’m not drunk right now… this is not a cry for help).
Anyway, Lincoln got upset, and Octavia had to calm him down.
Back at Ark Camp, word had gotten to Sergeant Miller’s Dad that they were packing up and hitting the dusty trail (of death).
I guess in Abby’s books, having your kid in mortal peril is no excuse for bad manners. Can we talk for a quick sec about how handsome Miller’s dad is? Because Miller’s dad is very handsome, and cool, and do I have a crush on Miller’s dad? Shut up, YOU DO!
Back at Mountain Manor, Cage and Dr. Tsing were having a delightful conversation over the corpse of the girl they had watched sizzle to death.
I’m pretty sure this lady is a sociopath and I’m kind of loving it. She informed Cage that the blood isn’t working, and she’ll have to suck out every drop of the 48’s sweet, delicious bone marrow. Then she licked her lips. Then she winked. Then she sacrificed a virgin to the Gods for no reason and kicked a puppy. I maybe love her? I don’t know. Ask me later.
Octavia got a little miffed about her boyfriend still being a literal zombie, so she decided to take a stroll and ran into an old friend.
He warned her about the eminent attack, and decided to pop in on an old friend and murder him a little bit. No big deal, it’s basically a hazing ritual in Grounder high school. Luckily Clarke remembered the last words of the best friend she’s ever had (which he said over Lincoln, telegraphing his intentions) and put a stop to it.
Then everyone’s favourite mass murderer stumbled in and created an awkward moment.
Was it just me, or did Finn seem very ready to die in this scene?
I guess he’s been doing some self reflection, because he and Clarke had a heart to heart about how “Lincoln” will never be the same after the stuff he’s done.
Clarke is coming around to forgiving Finn. Which, GIANT EYE ROLL. Feeling bad about mass murder does not equal redemption. I’m not sure what will redeem this guy. “Lincoln is savable, and so are you.” BARF. For real, guys, I vomited all over my Disney bedspread when she said this line, and it has nothing to do with the six mint aero bars I ate for dinner.
Clarke went to her mother with a plan that could stop the attack.
AWWWWWW SHIT. Jaha tried to intimidate and pressure Abby into giving him the power to force an exodus, but she was NOT having it! She had Lieutenant Miller’s Dad and Captain Grumpy lock him up. This was the first and only time I have liked Captain Grumpy.
This show gets a lot of praise (myself included) for the way it portrays women. Yay women! Women are empowered and strong and feminine and fierce and yet somehow still vulnerable. What I don’t praise enough is how The 100 portrays male characters. Women don’t rule this show. The men step up and get to be heroes and make decisions and work alongside our heroines. Yes, they don’t always agree, but there has consistently been a mutual respect and understanding between the sexes on this show and I LOVE IT.
This was not one of those times. Jaha was a condescending doofus this episode, and Abby SHUT HIM DOWN. I’m not saying this scene was awesome because he’s a man and she’s a woman. I’m saying it was awesome because he was being a self-righteous grade-A douche, using intimidation and power-play techniques, and she dealt with it like a boss.
Our team of slightly-less helpless heroes broke into the Mountain King’s office to sniff out all his secrets.
Monty used his mega-brain to get them through the lock, and then Jasper started giving orders like a sassy bride on her wedding day.
And they found all the creepy surveillance pics Ark Camp!
Meanwhile, Clarke had a meet and greet with Lexa, the Grounder Queen.
In order to prove that she was, in fact, Anya’s bestie, Clarke gave Lexa Anya’s hair. BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT? The best part is that Lexa took one look at it and was like, “yup, that’s my Anya.” God I love this show.
Clarke told Lexa that she can save the Reapers, and they were off. Then we checked in on some father son bonding happening over at Mountain Manor.
To his credit, the Mountain King did seem uncomfortable with the idea. Put up your hands if you thought Creepy Cage was going to murder his dad in this scene? I did, and it made me very anxious. VERY ANXIOUS.
Abby reached Lincoln just in time to let him die, which of course is when the Grounder Queen decided to show up.
What followed was a very tense scene where I honestly thought at least 30% of them would die. But they didn’t! Not even Lincoln! Because Abby is awesome!
She zapped him back to life! Oh Abby, you’re such a trickster.
After a cute scene where Monty the Magnificent gave Miller the positive affirmation that he is a “great thief”, we checked in on Harper, who wasn’t having the best time.
You guys, this scream was HAUNTING. Someone get that girl a halls lozenge, because DAMN. Turns out the evil duo is going to take the bone marrow whether or not the Mountain King gives the order. What a couple a’ D-bags.
The intensity with which the Mountain King was staring at the flower suggests either; A) the flower was talking to him, or B) he’s coming around the “murder teens” idea.
After a long day of adventure, Clarke cozied up to her new pal.
Whaaaaaaat a way to start a friendship! These Grounders do NOT mess around. Be honest, how many of you are hoping Finn dies next week? It’s not going to happen, but it’s fun to dream.
Well guys, I think my heart rate has finally slowed. This was a very intense episode! There was death (RIP Keenan), intrigue, and zombies! I can’t put this episode as one of my favourites because it didn’t have The Beautiful Creepster, Kane, my beautiful Raven or Wick, but it was pretty darn good!
And next week, ohhhhhhh lordy next week is going to be a shit storm, ammiright? What are you guys going to do until then? Can someone please make it next week RIGHT NOW? Doctor? I have never needed a time traveler more than right now.
- Don’t think I didn’t notice the infamous hug in the “previously on” sequence. Is this just to remind hopeless shippers of what they so desperately want and will likely never get? Cruel, The 100. Just cruel.
- I’ve said it before, but I want to know what each and every one of these beautiful heroes did to end up in jail in the first place. Tonight we found out Miller is a sexy thief. Does anyone have some sort of chart going? Finn space-walked. Clarke loved her dad too much. Bellamy attempted murder (haha, remember that?). What else we got? What the heck did Monty do? He’s so lovable! Who could possibly convict that guy of a crime? Jaha? Was it Jaha? It was Jaha wasn’t it? What a dick.
- Speaking of, can Jaha die please? I’m so over him I don’t think he’d be able to see me if he looked up. I would just be a speck in the sky, that’s how over him I am.
- Can we talk about how cool the name Cage is?
- If your boyfriend turned into a zombie, would you stick by him?
- Clarke and Lexa, new besties? Or is it too soon? #NEVERFORGET
[Originally Posted December 2014 on tv.com]