After spending weeks snuggled under mountainous blankets watching Christmas made-for-TV-movies, I almost forgot what my real TV priorities are: tense, nail-biting teen violence. The Adventure Squad is back! More importantly, so is Dark Clarke. Remember when Dark Clarke showed up in Season 1 as she slowly and silently slit a Grounder’s throat? Oh, the good ol’ days when she could murder someone and NOT hallucinate them lurking in the bushes like a creepy vagabond.
As I have now come to expect from each episode, so much happened! Clarke and Abby had it out, Magnificent Monty is in a CAGE, the Grounder version of Kevin Costner was killed, and our beloved Raven got CUT UP. Oh yeah, and Adventure B-Squad sent out a radio transmission.
If I were going to nit-pick, (brace yourselves, I AM going to nit-pick) I would point out that the mission to get the transmission out was a touch redundant. I see why it had to happen. Adventure B-Squad doesn’t know that Clarke made it. They don’t know there’s already a plan in place to rescue them. So yes, it was good they were taking initiative. The thing is, WE know. We know the transmission is unnecessary, so the mission felt a bit stake-less. It did, however, lead to Monty getting captured, Maya proving her awesomeness and Miller tossing out attitude. Like I said, this is simply a nit-pick, a small quibble, a passionless grumble, because THIS EPISODE WAS AWESOME.
It began with a great Lady Macbeth moment by Clarke. Sorry kiddo, it doesn’t matter how hard you scrub, that blood will always be on your hands. She had about 3.2 seconds to grieve, because it was time for a hang-out sesh with Lexa.
Lexa demanded Finn’s body be given to the peaceful village he massacred so they can spit on it or something. Abby and Kane were all, “no way Jose!”, but Clarke just sighed and was like, “ugh, fine, whatever.”
She found Raven and treated her like a personal assistant, showing JUST enough sympathy to stay out of trouble with HR.
Then Clarke got a fun surprise.
BAH! Finn’s eyes opened and stared at her with a look that said, “Cold, Boo.” I love this development for a myriad of reasons. It is genuinely very creepy, and it’s also a great way to force Clarke to deal with what she did. She never got to have a think about her actions, so her brain is all, “nuh uh, girl, we gonna deal with this shit.”
Back at Mountain Manor, the Adventure B-Squad was coming up with a plan.
Something about wires and hammers. I don’t know. Monty’s the coolest, though, right?
Bellamy decided that he was sick of dead-Finn getting all the attention, so he tried to put himself in danger.
Behind them a very forshaddowy conversation was taking place.
Gustus (great name) had qualms about the alliance with our teen heroes, but Lexa was all, “maybe just do your job properly and it won’t be an issue.” I dig her, you guys.
Meanwhile, the Mountain Prince was doing what he does best – being creepy. Turns out they spy on the goings-on of the outside world like weirdo reality TV producers.
Just a chip off the ol’ block! This was a great misdirect. Anyone who saw the promo knew this episode involved poison. COULD IT BE THEM??
We were treated to a delightful campfire scene where Lincoln and Octavia got it on not ten feet away from the rest of the group. I was passionately hoping the camera would pan to Bellamy rocking back and forth, awkwardly trying not to listen.
Over the sounds of lips smacking, Kane had a nice chat with Abby.
AND THEN THIS HAPPENED
Goodness gracious mother of pearl, you guys, that was a very scary, uncomfortable moment. Finn! Stop being such a ghost-weirdo! She doesn’t want to spoon with you, so go towards the light!
After disarming at Grounder Grove, they were met with a luke-warm reception.
Lexa made it very clear to her people that Clarke is her new best friend, and everyone should just relax.
She also gave Clarke the distinct honour of setting her love’s body aflame.
Then Finn showed up to help her burn his body like some sort of pyro-ghost.
Back at the manor, our heroes were squabbling.
Miller’s sass makes everything in life worth it. Is he my new favourite? MAYBE.
We learned the signal is jammed and the only way to un-jam it is to go to head office and lodge a complaint… or something. Oh, also, the guards were coming, and Jasper used a very classic way to get out of a pickle.
They done kissed! Look at Maya’s adorable little smile!
Because this show loves brutal juxtapositions, in the same episode where we got to witness this precious romance, we also got to be privy to the beheading of Lexa’s girlfriend.
Lexa was basically like, “you need to be Dark Clarke pronto.” Apparently loving people makes you weak. This isn’t a new concept in genre shows, but regardless of whether or not the notion is fresh, it’s still an inevitable step in Clarke’s journey. I’m just glad it took this long to get here.
After this pep talk, they fellowshipped around a table and Kane instantly busted out the hooch.
Here we go! The ol’ blame game got rolling when Gustus “found” the poison on Raven. I get why he chose the angriest looking chick in the bunch, but how DARE YOU SLANDER MY PRECIOUS GODDESS.
Clarke asked Raven if her drycleaning was back yet, and got punched in the face! Then she did that thing in TV and movies that always makes me cringe and hold a pillow over my face out of embarrassment for the character… she talked OUT LOUD to a hallucination. I mean, there is no better way to brand yourself a Grade A Lunatic, then talking to no one.
It’s true. Remember when Abby ignored scientific evidence and risked everyone’s lives because she “had a feeling”. Oh Abby! Anyway, then Clarke had a realization that every human woman dreads:
The Grounders tied Raven to a tree (AW HELL NO) and then cut into her like she was a shawarma.
Then Finn showed up to help Clarke figure out it was the CUP that was poisoned. Is this the birth of a spin-off?
Clarke proved the bottle wasn’t poisoned by getting a bit buzzed, then Bellamy figured out it was Gustus the whole time!
So Lexa had no choice but to kill him because, you know, Grounders.
Is it weird that I found this SUPER sad? Also, I bet Lexa is going to think twice about saying her theory about having to lose the people you care about out loud, because it IMMEDIATELY came true. Way to illustrate your point, Lexa!
Monty the Magnificent played dress-up to get into head-office and did a thing to the doo-dad, and then all of our hearts melted because of this:
But then the guard got hip to the wise and tackled him!
Monty’s radio show came through and Clarke decided Bellamy SHOULD risk his life, afterall.
Daaaaaaaaaamn! That is COLD, Clarke! I loved the look on Bellamy’s face when he was like, “I could die,” and she was all, “and?” I LOVE THIS SHOW. Clarke even told Ghost Detective to hit the road.
BAAAAAAHHHH holy shit Monty! This is bad news, you guys. Although on the bright side, hey Harper! I’m impressed at her attention to detail. I don’t think if I were locked in a cage I would count the number of cages they built. I’m also not sure I wouldn’t get hung up on the fact that they made an odd number off cages. Who just makes 47 cages, you know? Round up, Mountain Men!
WELL. There we have it. The 100 is back in full force.
You guys, I could not be more pumped to see where Dark Clarke takes us. It’s the logical next step in her character development, and with the way The 100 operates, this phase is going to be a DOOZY.
- This episode had so many great lines, it’s impossible to narrow down the best ones. “They’re being lead by a child.” – “So are we.” KANE! Calling it like it is! Oh, oh, and also: “When you plunged a knife into the heart of the boy you loved, did you not wish that it was me?” Just top drawer writing, Ms. Fortenberry.
- Do you think Lexa found some old Batman comic books and decided she liked his look?
- Speaking of Lexa – our first gay character! (That we know of) More please!
- Raven is on her way to forgiving Clarke. Do you think Dark Clarke will care?
- Is it going to get awkward when Lincoln runs into some of his old Reaper buddies?
- What do you think the Mountain King is doing? Sculpting wax figurines of the 47? Watching people sleep? Smelling the floor? I’d like to see that delightful weirdo again soon.
- How do they go to the bathroom in the cage?
That’s it from me! See all you lovable nut-bars next week!
[Originally Posted January 2015 on tv.com]