Just before last night’s episode of our favourite horrifically violent teen adventure, I decided to make myself a snack. I truly, deeply regret that. How could I sit there eating succulent nachos as our beloved characters experienced such strife? Oh, right, because nachos are amazing.
You guys, nearly everything about this episode was deliciously upsetting. I was delightfully forlorn almost the entire time. There was attempted murder, real murder, torture, near-miss reunions and so many feelings. There were, of course, a few shining moments when the beautiful fog of despair lifted from our TV screens. For example:
Yes, thank you, more please! Jaspty? Montsper? Can best-friendships have “shipper names”? I don’t care, just never let it end. Also, the Mountain King has returned! And Bellamy made it to the radio! And there’s a foxy new Grounder!
Let’s settle in with a healthy serving of nachos and dig right in to the episode, which began with Bellamy’s spa day.
He’s going to give Mountain Manor Spa a 4 star rating on yelp, AT LEAST.
Seriously, this was very upsetting and beautifully haunting. The cut-away shots, the muffled sound, the lighting, it was all perfectly crafted to make us feel things. One thing I don’t praise enough about this break-neck teen adventure is the artistry. The directors really know what they’re doing with the OMG, TONI, GET IT TOGETHER, you are supposed to be funny! Um… farts! rubber chickens! Gary Busey eating mashed potatoes! Ugh, sometimes The 100 makes it impossible for me to throw snark. I should seek medical attention because this show broke my snark-bone (which is my brain, I guess?) I DON’T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE.
Mere rooms away from Bellamy getting a chemical peel, Jasper and Maya were discussing how to get Monty back.
And off Jasper went to “do something stupid”. Yay! Meanwhile in the wilderness, Abby scooped up stagnant puddle water and offered it to her daughter.
Abby was momming very hard this episode. This development was frustrating (hop aboard #TeamClarke, Abby, everyone else has!) and yet necessary. Yes, The 100 is a post-apocalyptic romp about violent teens and giant murderous GORILLAS, but the characterizations have always felt rooted in reality. Of course Abby got up in Clarke’s business. Would your parents be okay if you lead a group of homicidal hoodlums and then wanted to murder a dude? I should hope not!
Grounder (Pounder) Octavia dominated a Mountain Minion, then found a lovely picture of Clarke and Lexa.
I guess the VERY flattering pictures proved the Mountain Men had targetted Clarke and Lexa. What scoundrels!
Meanwhile, Bellamy was not pleased about waking up in a cage.
Well hello there! And who might this sassy vixen be?
Jasper’s “something stupid” involved a delightful chat with the Mountain King.
Mountain King, I have missed you so! Oh, how I’ve longed for your suberb creepiness and unwavering fence-sitting. *happy sigh*
Devon Bostick annihilated this scene. He was not happy just killing it, he destroyed it. These two men always work very well together, but this surpassed anything they’ve done thus far. High fives, dudes. HIGH FIVES. The Mountain King fessed up about some shit, but it seemed he truly didn’t know about Monty, so they went on their own creepy little adventure squad.
Back at Arc camp, Abby was trying to get Clarke to open up about her feelings, which is hard enough with teens, even ones that haven’t stabbed their boyfriends to death, or lead an army.
Also – Jackson! Hello Jackson! Nice to see you again!
Bellamy made friends with the Grounder lady at the spa by cutting in front of her in line for some treatments.
This is a horrible situation, but honestly guys, have you ever seen Bellamy so relaxed?
Then Maya sleuthed her way to him.
Can we acknowledge how awesome Maya is? This girl has never set foot outside. She hasn’t been hardened by a Season 1. And yet she’s helping her new pals, even though their escape likely means her death (if not by the Mountain Minions, then by radiation). Also, I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it maybe seven more times; Eve Harlow has an alluring charm. Can we make this girl an impenetrable suit so she can live outside with her pals? Thanks in advance, writers!
Anyway, her introduction to Bellamy went great!
I don’t care how good he looks in that diaper, that is an unfortunate first impression.
Do I smell the beginnings of a naval battle? Get it? Cause the shippers… never mind.
Bellamy got dressed in the guards uniform, and off they went.
In an awesome display of moral ambiguity, the Mountain King halted the bone marrow extraction and reunited Jasper and Monty!
Yay! The Mountain King is setting them all free! The war is over, everyone! That’s a wrap, guys. You can pack up your things. The rest of the season is going to be hair tutorials.
I guess Kane and Abby didn’t get that memo, because they had a fight about whether or not to torture the Mountain Minion.
Then we were delighted to a tense scene in an elevator where Bellamy and Maya had an eye-convo that went a little something like, “yo, should I kill your art teacher?” And Maya was all, “I’d prefer it if you didn’t.”
Then the Mountain King strolled into his son’s lair to give him the ol’ heave-ho.
TWIST! The guards were loyal to the Mountain Prince, not the King! Oh man, what an awkward situation. How embarrassing for both of them.
Back at camp they discovered Ark blood in the Mountain Minion. This could only mean one thing…
Oh, familial struggles. We’ve all been there. Speaking of family, this young gentleman randomly stopped the only stranger he’s likely ever seen in his young, innocent life.
The name tag WAS important! The dude Bellamy killed just HAPPENED to be this adorable young fellow’s dad! I’m not going to lie, you guys, this moment was a little too much for me. What are the odds?? I’m sure they could have gotten the same effect if Bellamy had seen the classroom full of children. This scene didn’t just drive the point home, it drove it cross-country in a mini-van.
Anyway, they made it to the dorms just in time to see their pals get locked in. Man, Bellamy just can’t seem to catch a break.
At camp, Clarke was being a bit of a B to our beloved Raven. Raven, being the awesome Goddess she is, did not stand for it.
This fight was actually pretty productive because it was all about getting shit done. Before they could hug it out, though, they got a call!
Yay! Bellamy is going to release the Grounder army! Clarke is going to distract the Mountain from the outside! They’re going to try their best not to kill kids! Everything should go smoothy from here, right?
We were then treated to an amazing montage where the Mountain King sulked about having go to the bathroom in the open, Cage took a liking to his dad’s mug, and The 48 watched their fleeting freedom evaporate into the air and mingle with the stank that inevitably comes from an enclosed dorm full of teens.
And THEN… whoooooboy and then…
The tables have been turned! Not that Abby was ever really in charge (haha, oh Abby), but now Clarke has actually said it out loud. In front of EVERYBODY. How embarrassing! She sent a message with the Mountain Minion, and then strolled back into camp LIKE A BOSS.
When the Ark came down at the end of Season 1, we all wondered (and feared) what the shift in dynamic would be. Would the grown-ups try to take over? Would the teens be relegated to pouty rule-breakers? Would Kane’s hair ever get messy?
Now we have our answer! While it wasn’t the most exciting plot device, I’m glad it happened, and now it’s over. We can move beyond power struggles and arguments about titles. Clarke is large and in charge, and everyone else BEST RECOGNIZE. I’m excited for the future of this development. Clarke no longer has to check in with the adults before taking action, and that’s something I can get behind.
- What are your favourite nacho toppings?
- What type of dance would you pay money to see Gary Busey do?
- “This is not a toy.” Never die, Mountain King. Never. Die.
- How long has the new Grounder babe been in that cage? Is her diaper less than fresh?
- Did anyone in Ark Camp notice that Jaha and a smattering of their people are gone? Do they care? I don’t blame them if they don’t. I DON’T BLAME THEM.
- Speaking of, how long into the journey do you think the Beautiful Creepster will realize he made a huge mistake?
- How long do you think it will be until we see another glimpse of our mutated friend, Frederick?
[Originally Posted February 2015 on tv.com]