Just before last night’s episode of our favourite horrifically violent teen adventure, I decided to make myself a snack. I truly, deeply regret that. How could I sit there eating succulent nachos as our beloved characters experienced such strife? Oh, right, because nachos are amazing.
You guys, nearly everything about this episode was deliciously upsetting. I was delightfully forlorn almost the entire time. There was attempted murder, real murder, torture, near-miss reunions and so many feelings. There were, of course, a few shining moments when the beautiful fog of despair lifted from our TV screens. For example:
Yes, thank you, more please! Jaspty? Montsper? Can best-friendships have “shipper names”? I don’t care, just never let it end. Also, the Mountain King has returned! And Bellamy made it to the radio! And there’s a foxy new Grounder!
Let’s settle in with a healthy serving of nachos and dig right in to the episode, which began with Bellamy’s spa day.
He’s going to give Mountain Manor Spa a 4 star rating on yelp, AT LEAST.
Seriously, this was very upsetting and beautifully haunting. The cut-away shots, the muffled sound, the lighting, it was all perfectly crafted to make us feel things. One thing I don’t praise enough about this break-neck teen adventure is the artistry. The directors really know what they’re doing with the OMG, TONI, GET IT TOGETHER, you are supposed to be funny! Um… farts! rubber chickens! Gary Busey eating mashed potatoes! Ugh, sometimes The 100 makes it impossible for me to throw snark. I should seek medical attention because this show broke my snark-bone (which is my brain, I guess?) I DON’T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE.
Mere rooms away from Bellamy getting a chemical peel, Jasper and Maya were discussing how to get Monty back.
And off Jasper went to “do something stupid”. Yay! Meanwhile in the wilderness, Abby scooped up stagnant puddle water and offered it to her daughter.
Abby was momming very hard this episode. This development was frustrating (hop aboard #TeamClarke, Abby, everyone else has!) and yet necessary. Yes, The 100 is a post-apocalyptic romp about violent teens and giant murderous GORILLAS, but the characterizations have always felt rooted in reality. Of course Abby got up in Clarke’s business. Would your parents be okay if you lead a group of homicidal hoodlums and then wanted to murder a dude? I should hope not!
Grounder (Pounder) Octavia dominated a Mountain Minion, then found a lovely picture of Clarke and Lexa.
I guess the VERY flattering pictures proved the Mountain Men had targetted Clarke and Lexa. What scoundrels!
Meanwhile, Bellamy was not pleased about waking up in a cage.
Well hello there! And who might this sassy vixen be?
Jasper’s “something stupid” involved a delightful chat with the Mountain King.
Mountain King, I have missed you so! Oh, how I’ve longed for your suberb creepiness and unwavering fence-sitting. *happy sigh*
Devon Bostick annihilated this scene. He was not happy just killing it, he destroyed it. These two men always work very well together, but this surpassed anything they’ve done thus far. High fives, dudes. HIGH FIVES. The Mountain King fessed up about some shit, but it seemed he truly didn’t know about Monty, so they went on their own creepy little adventure squad.
Back at Arc camp, Abby was trying to get Clarke to open up about her feelings, which is hard enough with teens, even ones that haven’t stabbed their boyfriends to death, or lead an army.
Also – Jackson! Hello Jackson! Nice to see you again!
Bellamy made friends with the Grounder lady at the spa by cutting in front of her in line for some treatments.
This is a horrible situation, but honestly guys, have you ever seen Bellamy so relaxed?
Then Maya sleuthed her way to him.
Can we acknowledge how awesome Maya is? This girl has never set foot outside. She hasn’t been hardened by a Season 1. And yet she’s helping her new pals, even though their escape likely means her death (if not by the Mountain Minions, then by radiation). Also, I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it maybe seven more times; Eve Harlow has an alluring charm. Can we make this girl an impenetrable suit so she can live outside with her pals? Thanks in advance, writers!
Anyway, her introduction to Bellamy went great!
I don’t care how good he looks in that diaper, that is an unfortunate first impression.
Do I smell the beginnings of a naval battle? Get it? Cause the shippers… never mind.
Bellamy got dressed in the guards uniform, and off they went.
In an awesome display of moral ambiguity, the Mountain King halted the bone marrow extraction and reunited Jasper and Monty!
Yay! The Mountain King is setting them all free! The war is over, everyone! That’s a wrap, guys. You can pack up your things. The rest of the season is going to be hair tutorials.
I guess Kane and Abby didn’t get that memo, because they had a fight about whether or not to torture the Mountain Minion.
Then we were delighted to a tense scene in an elevator where Bellamy and Maya had an eye-convo that went a little something like, “yo, should I kill your art teacher?” And Maya was all, “I’d prefer it if you didn’t.”
Then the Mountain King strolled into his son’s lair to give him the ol’ heave-ho.
TWIST! The guards were loyal to the Mountain Prince, not the King! Oh man, what an awkward situation. How embarrassing for both of them.
Back at camp they discovered Ark blood in the Mountain Minion. This could only mean one thing…
Oh, familial struggles. We’ve all been there. Speaking of family, this young gentleman randomly stopped the only stranger he’s likely ever seen in his young, innocent life.
The name tag WAS important! The dude Bellamy killed just HAPPENED to be this adorable young fellow’s dad! I’m not going to lie, you guys, this moment was a little too much for me. What are the odds?? I’m sure they could have gotten the same effect if Bellamy had seen the classroom full of children. This scene didn’t just drive the point home, it drove it cross-country in a mini-van.
Anyway, they made it to the dorms just in time to see their pals get locked in. Man, Bellamy just can’t seem to catch a break.
At camp, Clarke was being a bit of a B to our beloved Raven. Raven, being the awesome Goddess she is, did not stand for it.
This fight was actually pretty productive because it was all about getting shit done. Before they could hug it out, though, they got a call!
Yay! Bellamy is going to release the Grounder army! Clarke is going to distract the Mountain from the outside! They’re going to try their best not to kill kids! Everything should go smoothy from here, right?
We were then treated to an amazing montage where the Mountain King sulked about having go to the bathroom in the open, Cage took a liking to his dad’s mug, and The 48 watched their fleeting freedom evaporate into the air and mingle with the stank that inevitably comes from an enclosed dorm full of teens.
And THEN… whoooooboy and then…
The tables have been turned! Not that Abby was ever really in charge (haha, oh Abby), but now Clarke has actually said it out loud. In front of EVERYBODY. How embarrassing! She sent a message with the Mountain Minion, and then strolled back into camp LIKE A BOSS.
When the Ark came down at the end of Season 1, we all wondered (and feared) what the shift in dynamic would be. Would the grown-ups try to take over? Would the teens be relegated to pouty rule-breakers? Would Kane’s hair ever get messy?
Now we have our answer! While it wasn’t the most exciting plot device, I’m glad it happened, and now it’s over. We can move beyond power struggles and arguments about titles. Clarke is large and in charge, and everyone else BEST RECOGNIZE. I’m excited for the future of this development. Clarke no longer has to check in with the adults before taking action, and that’s something I can get behind.
SOME STUFF
- What are your favourite nacho toppings?
- What type of dance would you pay money to see Gary Busey do?
- “This is not a toy.” Never die, Mountain King. Never. Die.
- How long has the new Grounder babe been in that cage? Is her diaper less than fresh?
- Did anyone in Ark Camp notice that Jaha and a smattering of their people are gone? Do they care? I don’t blame them if they don’t. I DON’T BLAME THEM.
- Speaking of, how long into the journey do you think the Beautiful Creepster will realize he made a huge mistake?
- How long do you think it will be until we see another glimpse of our mutated friend, Frederick?
[Originally Posted February 2015 on tv.com]
Toni Watches 
ORIGINAL POST COMMENTS:
AcornArmy
Dec 05, 2015
When Kane and Abby are having the argument about the pros and cons of torturing Emerson, I noticed that Clarke said, “Torture doesn’t work,” not, “Torture is wrong.” It’s clear in Season 1 that Clarke thinks it was wrong to torture Lincoln, but I wonder if she still would have been willing to do it to Emerson if she thought it would work. Abby seems to take Clarke’s response as support about her moral argument, but what Clarke actually said only concerned whether or not it would be effective.
Who thinks Clarke would’ve been pro-torture if she thought it would work on Emerson?
bxdgers
Mar 18, 2015
Kinda bad day at school – came back to look at the ‘Namaste’ post so I could toughen up my abs once more
bxdgers
Mar 17, 2015
THE JONTY HUG WAS ALL TOO MUCH FOR ME TONIGHT
AND I’VE GROWN MUCH FONDER OF MAYA NOW, I just didn’t really trust her much before…but after today’s episode, I don’t know why, but things have changed.
…AND ALSO CLARKE’S FACE WHEN SHE HEARS BELLAMY’S VOICE HURT ME IT WAS PERFECT
By the by, the ‘Namaste’ screencap killed me – I found it much funnier than I should have. Props to you for that; I think I now have sturdy and well defined abs like Bellamy.
roxy477
Feb 23, 2015
where did jaha go? not that I care about him I promise I dont but I miss the beautiful creepster!
asiaishmail
Feb 19, 2015
Hahaha. Crying my eyes out. This is amazing. tops on you for doing these photos.
kok_warlock
Feb 09, 2015
gotta love those photo recaps, they are better than the actual shows, didn’t even knew this mediocre thing was still around.
nickmoose
Feb 08, 2015
WHY was Mountain King Jr. giving Harper a sip of his coffee!!?? WHY!? Does he LIKE her? I am confused.
daroe23
Feb 09, 2015
Weird editing choice.
MaschaC91
Feb 08, 2015
Oh my, last episode I could not shed the image of the Mountain King making weird comments on dolls, smelling, and other creepy stuff :’)
YOU RUINED ME! (and I love it!)
Now every new The 100 episode I watch, I can only think about how you are going to turn it into a photo recap (at least I predicted the creepiness of the Mountain King to be in your recap, and something crazy on the weird mother-daughter relationship Clarke and Mommy have :P).
floppingduck
Feb 08, 2015
its like you used your entire vocab list fro tenth grade in this post. I love it! I really want Mr. ex-president and our beautiful creepster to meet so they can have a creep out party. please!?!?
davidbergfors
Feb 08, 2015
I love your snark Toni, keep swimming!
That Naval battle is going to be epic.
(For that Grounder to know about sky-people I’m guessing she’s a rather new admittance to the Mountain spa facility)
tessamclelland
Feb 07, 2015
FAV moments from this episode:
a4e798b8ce198c8337a05bbe264d46b6.jpg
dcc7a72c543fd6e13ab64825be49080b.jpg &
tessamclelland
Feb 07, 2015
2e19515baae9fb9987c2c508c838baaa.jpg &
tessamclelland
Feb 07, 2015
^^^Sassy Raven quote above ;D
tessamclelland
Feb 06, 2015
GREAT question–and one we have an answer to ;D &&&& is he god pic.twitter.com/GTrfFkBKLI
— follow back or unf (@murphyandlexa) February 4, 2015
I &3 Beautiful Creepster!
Savvytvfan91
Feb 06, 2015
Jonty. The word you are looking for is Jonty and yes friendship can be shipped because it is a bromance.
tessamclelland
Feb 06, 2015
Haha, “Lovejoy” xDD if Bellamy went around with that name tag on, I would’ve laughed my head off. Reminds me WAY TOO MUCH of “Dr. Feelgood” ya know??? XP
thesillylovesong
Feb 06, 2015
I can’t decide which hug was more beautiful: Bellarke’s or Jasper/Monty’s.
I always laugh so hard reading your recaps. Thanks, Toni!
randomjean
Feb 06, 2015
Speaking of, how long into the journey do you think the Beautiful Creepster will realize he made a huge mistake?
I’ll give him 48 hours.
randomjean
Feb 06, 2015
“you need to cool it with the emojis”. lol
Delightful read. good job.
MACYLIGHTFOOT
Feb 06, 2015
I can only assume that they’ve all noticed Jaha is missing but are all keeping quiet about it because if they acknowledge it out loud they’ll feel morally obliged to do something about it and nobody actually gives a fat rat’s about him.
atheandra
Feb 06, 2015
That First bellamy scene was horrifying glad you turned it into something funny I was waiting for it.
Concerning Jasper I do think that look on his face is not jalousy but surprise… Not to praise but it’s been like 1 month already (I think) since the drop ship camp attack and for all tehy knew Bellamy who was outside the ship when all things went to burning hell was DEAD….. And yet he just saw him inside mount weather… I think I would have made the same face
bstokeling91
Feb 06, 2015
this episode was so good my internal running toni commentary didn’t even have time to snark anything.
Anonymous_A
Feb 06, 2015
HAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, just wanted to express my reactions whilst reading another fabulous photo recap, Toni! 🙂
Charissa29
Feb 06, 2015
I really enjoyed this one, but I missed Lexa this week. Obviously, by the time you got to Mountain King you had found the ointment for what wasn’t a break just a snark sprain.
nickmoose
Feb 06, 2015
GORILLA UPDATE: OK, so after our new favorite character, the magnificent, wonderful Gorilla, tore shit up on last weeks episode of the 100, The FLASH decided to give us our first real good view of the classic DC comics simian super villain, GORILLA GRODD in it’s most recent episode! Do you know what this means!? The CW is taking my advice!! They really ARE going to pepper their shows with random gorilla attacks! They are easing us into it, sure, because the Flash already happened to have a Gorilla character, but mark my words, the fact that these two incidents occurred less than a week apart from each other is NO MERE COINCIDENCE! The CW intends to be the GO-TO network for abrupt ape ambushes!
Where will a Gorilla turn up next? My money is on the Originals. Place your bets!! And have a banana ready at all times!
Stelamon
Feb 06, 2015
Seriously – forget shark week; the CW should advertise a gorilla week. Embrace it, I say.
Stelamon
Feb 06, 2015
HOD was made for a gorilla cameo. Maybe a circus breaks down in town and the Gorilla runs off with Lavon’s alligator. Of course, the circus ‘freaks’ would fit right into the craziness that is Bluebell.
Toni_watches
Feb 06, 2015
I’m excited to see how they’ll get it into Jane the Virgin.
Anonymous_A
Feb 06, 2015
I sense a trend coming… Nevertheless, I would love to see the Winchesters tackling a BIGASS GORILLA in Supernatural! They’ve dealt with just about everything so far, why not throw a GORILLA on them?
patrickflick3
Feb 06, 2015
i will pay good money NOT to see Gary Busey
yes i was expecting someone to mention or ask what happened to the others that went with jaha
and i fear for the mountian kings life at this point, i can see him getting killed off, and maya as well, and that would upset me, i like her a LOT, plus she’s damn beautiful 🙂
Anonymous_A
Feb 06, 2015
And I don’t even know who Gary Busey is, I guess I’m off to IMDb…
AnnieC12
Feb 06, 2015
Why is it anyone with the chancellor title becomes a a bit of a douche? Is that why Kane refuses to try to take the title back? Or why Clarke was super adamant about not labeling herself chancellor?
SoLiOZuZ
Feb 06, 2015
Also, wow…Bellamy’s dance with the two Lovejoys ended in heartbreak on both accounts (too soon?)
harleejo1
Feb 06, 2015
First off: Dude! I totally forgot about Frederick! Since we haven’t seen him since the first episode and the season is almost over…I’m wondering if his “people” (and I use that term loosely) will be next year’s bad guys?
Seeing Boss Clarke ( who was a little cocky by the way. Totally peeped that little smirk on her face when she told Abby that she was in charge). I could feel myself getting pumped as I heard her little speech to Douche Minon.
Missed my Lexa this episode but it was balanced by RAVEN. If there is a range of emptiness scale for acting, that girl is at the top of the list! Her voice still sounds so raw with emotion over losing Finn, she looks pale and exhausted…just selling it 150%.
I CANNOT wait to see the Trojan horse scheme play out. I hope we don’t lose any more of our Teen Adventure Squad in the next few episodes.
Can’t say enough good things about your review this week Toni. You rock girl! You are hilarious and witty and clever and all the synonyms that mean funny. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE your column.
#neverforget
#namaste
harleejo1
Feb 06, 2015
Meant “range of EMOTION scale for acting”… damn auto correct.
peterspoor33
Feb 06, 2015
Oh that’s right did Bellamy actually say “like a Trojan Horse” or was that my imagination?
In some way Lexa is an adequate substitute per episode if I can’t get my sassy Raven fix
Namaste haha
ash7
Feb 06, 2015
During that montage at the end, I realized that this is the best show I’ve ever seen. It was great moment.
sincerelyspar
Feb 06, 2015
Best moments:
Octavia’s grounder make-up. I’m pretty sure her and Indra had a girls night where they compared knives, shared leather and furs and Indra taught her how to apply eyeshadow.
Jasper “Do I look desperate?” Yes. Yes, you do Jasper, now may I please give you a hug?
Bellamy running around half naked. The guy is smart, rabidly loyal, brave and just covered in manly beauty. Couldn’t help but appreciate it. Sorry, not sorry!
Jaspty(?) hug. The bromance is strong.
Clarke being boss. “You may be chancellor, but I’m in charge.” WOOOHOOO I was so annoyed by the adults trying to take charge all the time, it was seriously my biggest peeve. They sent the 100 to die, they survived, adapted and learned. The adults came down, no clue what was what and thought that they should be in charge because… they said so? meh. Raven was right when she said “She hasn’t been a child since you sent her here to die” Prophet Raven.
clarkeschindimple
Feb 07, 2015
prophet raven hahahaha. I love that Raven gets Clarke and has her back and all, but also that Raven doesn’t take shit from Clarke and calls her out on stuff. I can’t wait for these two to remember that they’re friends
PolskaChic18
Feb 06, 2015
I totally agree. Just because Anya and Clarke never got to go get poutine shouldn’t mean that Indra and Octavia can’t have girls’ nights
Klaussays
Feb 06, 2015
LOOL
PolskaChic18
Feb 06, 2015
Any idea who Bellamy and Octavia’s father(s?) is/are? I don’t know about Bellamy, but I have a theory that Kane might be Octavia’s
Any thoughts?
Also, is it just me or it that sexual tension between Abby and Kane KILLING all of their scenes lately?
Karstedt
Feb 06, 2015
Perfect recap of the Bellamy – Lovejoy’s kid incident. Yeah, it was total sucker move, but I really didn’t mind.
HaydeeTangoDelta
Feb 05, 2015
Bellamy! You could have at least mentioned Lincoln’s relapse and prepared them for it. But seriously tho this episode was amazing, if they continue like this I am both excited and petrified for the season finale.
ParaVoid
Feb 05, 2015
Great recap as always! I loved the “go to your room” confrontations and that roaring sexual tension between Abbey and Kane 😀
The first thing I have to agree with you is Devon killing that scene! that was some serious acting there. Then I spent the whole episode biting my fingers before Bellamy got to the dorms without anything bad happening.
Anyway, I guess Abbey will stop intensely “momming around” now that Clarke has made it clear for the last time that she’s the one in charge (and that Kane’s jumped aboard #TeamClarke too).
Ugh, there’s just so much to talk about in this episode , but it was missing one thing though, the Pun Queen Lexa. and I kinda missed Murphy’s face too 😀 but I hope they won’t show the “adventure squad #2” before they won’t cover a looong distance and something interesting starts to happen.
gnomeless
Feb 05, 2015
Wonderful. Your recap was wonderful. The episode was wonderful. The director, the writers, and not least of all, the entire emsemble were just wonderful. I don’t want to speculate, just ruminate.
MontseBagaria
Feb 05, 2015
I missed Lexa and her jokes/riddels!!!!
But this… AWESOME!!!!!!!!
charblasaur
Feb 05, 2015
pissing contest concluded. winner by a mile, clarke
jjtigs
Feb 05, 2015
Clarke is the Leader Queen Boss HBIC. Damn girl!
I feel like it’s more that Raven is being B to Clarke. Or maybe both to each other. Raven just lost her family though so I guess it’s understandable. I thought she realized at the end of 2×09 that Clarke did the best thing for FInn though. I guess not.
First time I’ve ever liked Maya!! Jasper remains useless as hell though.
Abby is getting more and more annoying, just like Jaha.
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