I’ll assume that everyone remembers season 1, and won’t get into the fact that Wynonna shot her sister (who was a general lunatic), but not before she opened the triangle-of-doom and let in a bunch of demons, and that Waverley touched some black goo so now occasionally her eyes go all Willow Season 6, and that Dolls was taken away by Black Badge for being awesome.
I won’t talk about any of that.
You guys won’t believe this, but we were mislead. The last moment of season 1 wasn’t Waverly shooting Wynonna, but instead a gross mouth-monster! Then Wynonna killed it and was all, “I’m Wynonna. Wynonna Earp.” Such cheese, such drama… I LOVE IT.
Then, miraculously (and rather anticlimactically), Dolls stopped that pesky afterthought of a drone strike with one phone call before being taken away to a cell. So… good work, bud! You are still very handsome!
Awwwwww, what a fun meet-cute! This lady is Black Badge, and is hanging out in Doll’s motel-home, and is also very foxy. She calls Dolls “X” and kicks ass in her underwear. I am very ready to love you, and I hope you stick around! (Spoiler, she doesn’t, OR DOES SHE? Don’t tell me)
They all teamed up to save Dolls from “jail” with some good old fashioned sneakery. Agent Lady in the back of a truck! Keycards! One-liners! When plan A didn’t quite work out (not really sure what plan A was, tbh), they called in Plan B.
Question 1 – who is this guy? Question 2 – is he my new favourite? So, basically what happened was, when he was completely oblivious to Waverly’s attempts to seduce him (with a hilarious British accent), she HIT HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH A BLUNT OBJECT, drawing blood, and catching the attention of a mouth-monster. Then she was like, “help me?” and he was like, “no prob.” LOL forever, I love him. He had zero motivation to turn-coat, but I look forward to having a nerd on the team. He IS on the team, right?? This guy is now a regular? Please say yes.
Meanwhile, Dolls was locked in a cage, going through super-drug withdrawal, while Black Badge Blonde ate ramen in front of him without even offering him any.
Turns out BBB hates Dolls because he didn’t save her husband, so she is VERY excited to torture him to death in a secret government punishment facility. She’s so excited about it, I almost feel bad she doesn’t get to do it. But nope! Doc came in and was all, “do you like my jacket? It came with this really cool dynamite!” And Triple B was all, “you’re bluff-” but then Dolls choked her out. WHAT FUN!
Honestly, a Dolls-Doc broship is my deepest desire, so this scene made my heart soar to new heights.
Meanwhile Waverly and her Willow-Season-6 eyes were taking care of business.
I sincerely hope the black eyes turn out to be a good thing that she gets to keep. The whole Venom storyline has been done. I want Waverly to have a legit superpower! Is it possible Willow-Season-6-Syndrome could be a good thing? She seems like herself. Maybe she won’t turn anyone inside out.
Aaaaaanyway, after whispering sweet-nothings into Doc’s ear, Dolls got away (yay!), but the rest of them were caught.
Yes, sir! I sure am! I especially appreciated the Foot Clan Soldier behind him. This fellow shot my new kick-ass crush in the head (but like, she’s not really dead, right? She had super juice! She’ll come back. Right? Don’t tell me), then made them sign some sort of Black Badge contract with blood. Just regular, normal stuff.
And that’s that! They’re all safe. They’re officially Black Badge. Dolls is sexier than ever, and also on the run. He showed up atop a snowy hill and gave Wynonna a single-tear wave goodbye *swoon*. And Wynonna was all, “gonna take a shower” to Doc, and he was all, “well then I’ll leave you to it,” all wounded and sexy. Basically what I’m saying is: Love triangle STILL ON.
Oh, and Wynonna is psychologically damaged from all the murder of season 1. No big deal.
BUT THEN…
A bejeweled demon hand blew up the facility! Or at least a part of it. This is gonna be trouuuuuuble!
SOME STUFF
- Our unexpected love for the non-bumbling-but-probably-still-sometimes-bumbling Sheriff Nedley remains intact, and his explanation to the town about the supernatural shit they witnessed last season was hilariously insulting to Wynonna.
- WHAT DID DOLLS TELL DOC TO TELL WYNONNA????
- Is the awesome agent lady really dead? Don’t tell me. But seriously, is she? She comes back, right? DON’T TELL ME.
- Speaking of, is Doc’s hat really gone? RIP Doc’s Hat.
- Officer/Agent Haught turned away when Waverly tried to kiss her. You guys, is HaughtWave in trouble???
- Most importantly… WHAT IN THE SWEET HAM IS THIS SHIRT??
NOPE. Terribly sorry, but my entire recap of episode two is just me shaking my head with my eyes closed going “no sir, nuh uh, no way, no thanks”, on repeat, 794 times. Basically the producers and writers got together and brainstormed how to infiltrate my nightmares and put them on the small screen. ‘Spiders and ghosts’, they said. That’s how we’ll make sure Toni doesn’t sleep tonight. So, NO to episode 2, I say. You don’t get ANY pictures! Well, except this one:
One of Wynonna’s (only) highschool chums came back into town because she bought an old school to renovate…? I think? Is that something people do? Anyway, turns out there’s some sort of big bad in the school chapel calling to supernatural creatures, like SPIDERS AND GHOSTS (still mad).In other news, Doc bought the bar for shady reasons as yet undiscovered, and hired a sassy lady to help him with the abovementioned mysterious shadiness. He also blackmailed Black Badge Blonde to give him money, with super-secret documents about trying to kill Dolls. When she was like, “you could have told me to save Dolls, yet you asked for money,” I was like, “YEAH! Save Dolls, DOC!” Ugh, what is that guy UP to???
Anyway;
SOME STUFF
- Triple B blamed Wynonna for “letting those creatures into the triangle”, but wasn’t she was the one who told Dolls to stand down and let it happen?
- WayHaught sexy times! (Yes, I’ve now learned the shipper name)
- I was correct, Jeremy is my new favourite.
You guyyyyyyyyyys! Episode 3 spat some slimy egg in my face because I was wrong about so many things! I am so sorry I doubted your bro-tastic intentions, my sweet, sweet Doc. You are a beautiful, honorable sexy hero, and both Dolls and Wynonna are lucky to have you, and I am very sorry your hat got eaten by a mouth-faced-monster.
I was also very wrong about Waverly’s Willow-Season-6 syndrome. It’s not a good thing, guys. It is NOT A GOOD THING.
Let’s get into it!
Waverley was a steaming mess this episode, and it was both painful and entertaining to watch. I didn’t think we could top the awkwardness of eating a giant spider carcass (still mad), then she started doing a cheer routine for her girlfriend. Then she ate some lipstick. Then forced some uncomfortable PDA on her girlfriend while she was at work. Then she lifted a freakishly tall “20 year old” man by his throat, and cheerily stepped over his body while flipping her hair. GIRL IS NOT OKAY.
This fellow had a chat with a Scarecrow Demon (as one does), then plunges his hand into his abdomen and pulled out his own liver. Is this… is this something humans can do? I feel like it’s not. Can we? I don’t know.
This gentleman called up our girl and asked her on a date, to which she said yes because he was a friend of the late McLiver and “could be a lead”, and NOT because he is very dreamy (which he is). That’s when he started bleeding this cute little rabbit. Typical stuff.
This fellow crashed their date and tried to murder New Hot Guy’s friend, but Wynonna stopped it with her magic gun. That thing REALLY comes in handy!
New Hot guy showed up at the homestead because as it turns out, he is NOT a bad guy, but in fact a good guy who made an accidental deal with a demon for 10 awesome years followed by a gruesome, horrible, self-inflicted death. TEENS, ammiright?
Then Doc (sweet, beautiful Doc) revealed that he bought the bar and hired Sexy Scientist to make Dolls his drugs!! And they need demon blood! And he is still the best, you guys! Ugh, this made me so happy. I know he said he wasn’t doing it for Dolls (and is instead doing it for Wynonna), but I SEE YOU, Doc, and your intense bro-love for your best buddy. Don’t deny it. This is a safe space.
So, so much.
After tossing Hot Cop around the police station for a while, Scarecrow Demon tried to strike a deal with Wynonna so she would spare its life, and she was all, “don’t get mad, but get back in your lamp, genie.”
So now they’re going to make him come out every so often to take his blood. Yes. Good. I’m sure it’ll be fine.
In a side-plot that should be noted, some local rich creepo was being a creepasaurus, so Hot Cop arrested him, but he was immediately let go because he’s a big deal in the town. BUT THEN, Not-So-Bumbling-Sheriff was all, “don’t worry, you still love me,” and handed Hot Cop a file on Creepo because he’s been “playing the long game.” COULD WE LOVE HIM ANY MORE? Yes, because then he told Hot Cop that she’ll be the future Sheriff, and made her feel good about her job. *happy sigh*
I’m sooooooooorry, but THIS GUY is 20?? We know this because he told his sister, “if you were dead, I wouldn’t have to wait until my 21st birthday to get my inheritance.” HAHAHAHA I do NOT think so, friends. Look, I get it, he’s perfectly cast. He’s got that perfect blend of awkward bespeckled borderline sociopathic nerd that makes the ladies go crazy (just me? Ugh, send help), but let’s not pretend he’s under 30, K?
Anyway, speaking of his sister…
The ghosts! That’s the hand that blew up the Black Badge warehouse! What is UP?
And then my heart jazzercised right out of my chest because LOOK WHO’S BACK!!!
AHHHHHHH!! Does Waverley even realize it’s Dolls? Did he crawl to the barn on his own, or is she keeping him there? Is she going to do something sinister to him??? How long before Wynonna finds out he’s back? If this is going to be one of those things where it takes a few episodes, and they are so close yet so far away, I will RIOT.
- Jeremy is still my favourite.
- But Nedley is making a serious run for the title. “Who will keep the regular, non-werewolf citizens of Purgatory safe?” #NedleyForPresident
HAHAHAHA WHAT episode 4 was bonkers! For an episode that focused primarily on a mysterious briefcase containing a plate, it was shockingly action-packed! You guys, A LOT happened, so let’s chat about it.
Wynonna came out to drag her back inside, and then looked AT THE BARN where Dolls was dealing with a major case of monster-flu, then shrugged and went back inside. This filled me with an anxiety that can only be described as “a mint-chip emergency”.
Then we met some delightful new characters who sawed off a man’s hand in order to steal a briefcase – which became so important to this episode it shall henceforth be referred to as THE BRIEFCASE – from a Black Badge agent.
After learning all about THE BRIEFCASE situation, Wynonna had a heart-to-heart with Hot Cop about how her sister is bonkers now, then she reached into her pocket and pulled out Doll’s army tags, and my defcon-mint-chip anxiety was downgraded to a popsicle.
YAYYYYYYYYYY x forever. Wynonna dragged him to his best friend Doc, whose sexy scientist friend was cooking him up some drugs right quick, with the help of everyone’s favourite nerd.
Yes Jeremy! Yes it is! Jeremy is officially one of them now and my heart is SINGINGGGGGG.
Because Waverly’s deepest desire is to be special / remain a main character, she volunteered to go undercover to retrieve THE BRIEFCASE, and was mistaken for the entertainment. Then I guess she was given a sparkly gold dress that fits perfectly? Did the club just HAVE that dress to give her? Was she carrying around a sparkly gold dress in her purse? This mystery will haunt me for the rest of my days. ANYWAY, after awkwardly (and awesomely – great voice, girl!) singing directly AT the mob-type guys, Waverly followed them to the back and overheard a discussion about how important THE BRIEFCASE is while Wynonna rushed in to save her.
HAHAHAHAHHAHA they were IMMEDIATELY captured and tied to chairs, where they of course had a sister heart-to-heart about how Waverly is 100% wackadoodle now. Then shit got uncomfortable.
The two mob-types were demons, and one of them used his own protruding bone to cut off Waverly’s hand!!! I’d like you to take a second to re-read the above sentence. What a delightfully absurd show.
After Waverly re-grew her hand (re-read that one, too!), there was a showdown at the bar for THE BRIEFCASE.
BAAAAHAHAHHAHAHA Dolls busted in and fire-breathed at the demon! Then he had some fun bestfriendship / sexual tension moments as the demon lay on the floor writhing in pain, watching. Love this show! Then Wynonna shot him in the head and he was sucked to hell, but first he was all, “guys this is only episode 4, there’s a much bigger bad coming.”
AND THEN…
GAHHHH! Willow Season 6 is now in Wynonna!!! And she transferred the demon by… kissing… her sister? That was weird, right? I’m not the only one who thinks that was weird. There were other ways, right? Anyway. What I’m saying is, that was super weird.
- Guess who has a mysterious mother and is still my favourite? Jeremy.
- Miss Black Badge had no backup for Waverly!!! I’m not sure how I feel about this woman. Do I want her to bond with the team and become an ally? Do I want her to get some kind of comeuppance for being a grade-A butt-face? I DON’T KNOW YOU GUYS.
- Mysterious roadside car mechanic strikes again!! He’s the one who drove Dolls back into our lives. Thanks, bud!
- Dolls and Doc bantering about who Wynonna likes more was a true gift.
- Creepy town-owning family has just gotten creepier!! Both big sisters were possessed/eaten by some monsters who are BIG fans of the creepiest “teen” known to man, so this should be fun!
Who ordered all this TRUTH, you guys??? Well whoever did, your order is UP, because DAMN, episode 5 was wackadoo!
Hey you guys, guess who’s behind that creepy mask… it’s Brendan Fehr!! If you were a 90s teen like myself, then you spent many an evening swooning over the too-sexy-to-actually-be-teen aliens that invaded Roswell / everyone’s hearts, so perhaps you were equally as excited to see his grown-up face on your television screen.
Oh, right, plot. Turns out Brendan Fehr runs a fireman cult who hunt the exact type of demon currently residing in Wynonna. What a coinkidink!
We see the theme of this episode quite often in shows, especially of the supernatural variety. I call it the Red Kryptonite effect. You know how when superman is around red kryptonite he turns into a total douche, and it is hella awkward and painful to watch, because YOU know it’s not him doing it, but the people he’s interacting with don’t. Yeahhhhhhh, Wynonna was Red Kryponiting HARD this episode, and I watched it through a slit in my fingers because I was so embarrassed for her. When she told Hot Cop that Waverly just isn’t that into her, I almost damaged my TV.
Dolls found Waverly tied up in the kitchen (because, it should be noted, Wynonna wouldn’t allow the demon to kill her) and they had a heart to heart about being demons. But like… why is she still tied to a chair, Dolls? You don’t… you don’t wanna untie our girl while you chat? You don’t think she might be a smidgen uncomfortable?
If I might be real for but a moment – you know you’re watching a top-grade show when you care about character relationships that have nothing to do with the lead. Dolls and Waverly have a solid friendship that has nothing to do with any kind of romance or plot device. The fact that all of these people care about each other is what bumps this show from good to great, OKAY SINCERITY OVER, jeez.
Anyway, then the Bananas Black Badge Banshee (these alliterations are your fault for not stopping me) showed up and had a kerfuffle with Dolls because I guess she just loves her job so much and wants THE BRIEFCASE so she can get a gold star or something. But then Waverly kindly reminded her about work / life balance, and they were on the same team again.
I am very intrigued by this sexy fireman demon hunting cult, and I hope they (read: Brendan Fehr) stick around! Turns out they’re pals with Mr. Mysterious who gave Doc a fan belt that one time.
Meanwhile, the team locked Wynonna up and in a strangely sweet scene, Dolls cut her finger off (hahahah READ THAT SENTENCE AGAIN – love this show). But Mistress Black Badge couldn’t handle the allure and touched it.
Her head exploded with goo!! It goosploded! Goodbye Black Badge lady. You were a confusing character whom I was emotionally preparing to warm to, and now I don’t have to.
Waverly took the demon back! Smart, really, since Wynonna’s the one who wields a super-gun that kills demons. Way to go, Waverly! Side note – if my sister were possessed by a demon, I would ask if it can be transferred through a high-five, or a hug or something. But that’s just me.
Then the whole cast converged on the barn and had a quip-off (which you know I love), and Wynonna made Waverly drink the demon-be-gone potion the way any true older sibling would – by climbing on top of her and holding her nose until she HAD to swallow, or die.
Grosssssssssssssssss but fun? It turned into a tentacle and Wynonna shot it, and now her and Brendan Fehr are best friends *crosses fingers* and everything is awesome. EXCEPT…
Wynonna is PREGS! This is going to be a shit show, and I’m excited.
Let’s talk real quick about how awesome it is that Waverly was able to fight the demon for 7 weeks, and Wynonna wasn’t able to hold it off for a few hours. It’s this kind of dynamic – this flawed cast of characters we’re rooting for – that I keep coming back for.
- Gross rat smoothie was gross.
- I wonder who my favourite is… (Jeremy – it’s Jeremy)
- Don’t think I didn’t notice Demon-Wynonna putting both syrup and hot sauce on her pancakes, which was what the dreamy aliens did in Roswell, I LOVE REFERENCES.
- Speaking of the hot fireman cult – they now have the super special commemorative plate, so I assume (hope) we see them again.
- Is Mikshun gone, or was that just one part of his gross tentacle?
Welp, episode 6 happened, and I have questions. Question 1 – what was the point of Tucker?
So he was a creepy “teen” (LOL) who couldn’t get a girlfriend, so he asked his demonic non-sisters for one, then when he got one, he made her dress up like Waverly, then when a hot cop shot him, he jumped out a window. That about sum it up? Oh, and he killed the Stone Witch, for some reason.
So wait. Is Tucker NOT dead? He has no supernatural powers, right? Did this normal human “teen” dust himself off from being shot / plummeting head-first out a second-story window, then immediately leave a rotting skull at the door and ding-dong-ditch his evil non-sisters? I am wildly confused, but it’s kind of fun, so I don’t mind.
Speaking of confused!
OKAY, so, evil non-sisters devised a crack-plan to put the entire town to sleep via a sleep-demon in order to search for the three seals of witchery or whatever. So when Dolls took Wynonna out for coffee to rip open his chest and show her his heart (awwww), they all fell asleep. Then Peacemaker zapped Wynonna awake, and she was a month more pregnant! What an anecdote that will be later!
Wynonna woke the rest of the team, and they adventured a bit, saving the town (must be Tuesday) and it was revealed to all interested parties that Wynonna was pregs.
Dolls was maaaaaaaad, but then he smooched her, but he was still pretty mad, but then he was sweet, and trying not to show how mad he was, but he was mad.
Doc seemed aloof at first, but then he seemed to be on board, so… again, this is going to be a shit show and I am excited.
The evil non-sisters were able to open the second seal, but they still have one to go. These ladies are bigger bads that I originally thought! Oh, and Dolls made Wynonna kill Sleep-Demon Steve, and it was weirdly sad.
- Black Badge isn’t gone, they just ditched our team? RUDE
- Remember in season 1 when I was all, “no WAY is the Stone Witch gone forever. She’ll be back, otherwise, what a waste!” Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh………………….
- “She’s too young for you.” – “I’m older than the state of Colorado, everybody’s too young for me.” This show is funny.
- “What would the Rock do, what would the Rock do, what would the Rock do.” Jeremy, how I love thee.
Episode 7 was simply delightful! A fun, quasi-emotional romp through the snowy countryside, lead by ghost cops and Revenants (‘member them!), best-friend spells and a drunk Hot Cop. It’s rare that I get everything I want out of an episode of television, but… Wynonna Earp, thank you for what you have given me this day.
DUDE PLOT:
These boys were bonded by a Jeremy-Gone-Wrong spell, and it was both literal and figurative MAGIC. It actually looked like they were in some kind of boy-band practicing their synchronized dance moves, and honestly, I couldn’t have been happier.
See, what happened was, the ghost of Bass Reeves couldn’t rest until he caught and executed Doc Holliday for ‘fornicating with the judge’s wife… twice.”
Because Dolls is a Marshall who outranked him, Bass Reeves was like, “ohhhhhhhh no big then, later gators.” and he and his ghost-possy disappeared into an eternal, restful slumber. Everything about this was pure, absurd delight. I love a lot of things about this show (Jeremy), but the Dolls-Doc bestfriendship, despite being romantic rivals, is my favourite thing. My very favourite.
Important to note – Dolls is back to being a nice guy with a side of sass. No jealous spite to be found, I’m happy to report!
LADY PLOT:
In a compelling commentary on modern-day slut-shaming, Wynonna was unsure of who the father of her baby is. As we know, she and Doc had some sexy time, but what we didn’t know was that after the horrific events of season 1, Wynonna was emotionally unstable and drunk and sought comfort in the arms of a Revenant.
This guy was THE WORST. In season 1 we learned that not all Revenants are bad. Remember that adorable guy who just wanted to find his boyfriend? Even Bobo wasn’t absolute garbage. But THIS GUY – ugh, he was a smarmy, sexist douchasaurus who deserved to be Peacemakered straight to hell.
Oh, and everyone knows the baby-daddy situation.
- The team suspects the evil non-sisters. Keep up the good work, guys!
- Imagine being stuck on earth as a ghostly spector because some sexy dude got it on a bunch of times? JUST IMAGINE IT!
- Slut-shaming is never okay, and I’m glad / not surprised this show was on the right side of this argument.
- Jeremy’s obvious crush on Doc is, much like Jeremy himself, the best.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS x eternity!!!! YOU GUYS! Episode 8 was NOT messing around, and it was GAME CHANGING! I don’t want to give anything away, but remember in the season 1 finale when I was like, “it’s a shame Bobo is dead, he was just getting interesting!” okay so maybe that gave it away, because BOBO IS ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE (again).
If you’ve ever read one of my reviews, or know me personally, or stalk me, or sat beside me on a long bus ride, then you know how much I love mythology building episodes. This one knocked it out of the church inferno! You would ALSO know that one of my favourite things is when the first bad guy eventually teams up with the good guys to defeat an even bigger bad guy, and omg omg omg I want it so bad, please please please, *crosses fingers, and also eyes, but that’s unrelated*.
The evil sister-wives took a bite out of Mr. Mysterious! I was unclear the motives here, but I guess… to… make him smell like… almonds? Was this their version of an interrogation, or were they just trying to straight-up murder him?
Anyway, whatever it was, it caused him to up his game, so he kidnapped Wynonna outside of the doctor’s office. And look who Dolls interrogated to get info on where they might be:
I am unashamed to admit that I squealed “IT’S BOBO!” so loud that I was afraid someone would believe I was in danger and bust down my door and come to my rescue. But that didn’t happen. So I tried it again, and still nothing. Whatever. I was very excited to see him, and his Peter Parker (which is now the new name for “origin story” because there have been so many HEY OH!), did not disappoint.
Did we already know that Bobo wasn’t Wyatt’s intended target when he killed him with Peacemaker, or is this new information? Well, it was new information for me, and I was AGHAST. Turns out Wyatt was Bobo’s bestest friend, but Bobo wasn’t Wyatt’s, you know what I mean? But he was a good dude, hunting down bad guys, sacrificing himself so that bad guys can be sealed up into supernatural prisons, you know, typical bro stuff. So Wyatt shoots through him in order to kill Evil Sheriff Clootie, and Clootie is all, “effffff this, I’m going to cast the most convoluted curse I can think of and it’s going to be annoying for your descendants, but not to you, and THAT’LL TEACH YA!” and that’s why we have a show.
Then Constance (Hi different Stone Witch!) told Bobo that he’s a main character now, and he was all, “the protagonist?”, and she was like, “LOL forever”, and he was not digging it.
There was SO MUCH going on, you guys! Speaking of…
Oh, and worth noting is that Waverly got her DNA test back, which Hot Cop tried to hide from her, and it proved that she’s not an Earp, because she’s obviously BOBO’S DAUGHTER RIGHT??? I’m right. Am I right? I don’t know. Am I going to get another 17 medals for this? Is this something that all of you figured out while watching in real-time? Whatever. I’m accepting those 17 medals, I don’t even care.
- Was it on purpose that the bad guy’s name rhymes so hard with Cootie? Do you think that’s why he’s evil? Man, kids can be so cruel.
- Bye Mr. Mysterious Juan Carlo! I’m sorry you got eaten up by those ladies.
- Rosita is trying to be pals with the Earp girls, which, WHO WOULDN’T.
- Sheriff Nedley!! Hi!
- No Jeremy this ep, but I still love him.
If there’s one thing that everyone on planet Earth can agree on, it’s that dolls are creepy as shit. So when the side-b-side-villain of the week for episode 9 was a creep-ass doll painting that comes to life in order to commit some light thievery, I was deeply uncomfortable. But it was still fun, so let’s get into it!
That being said – NO, I do NOT want a romance between them, because I love Hot Cop, and I love HaughtWave, and I am VERY frightened for their romantic future right now! *pulls self together by destroying a gallon of ice cream*. Okay. What was I saying? Oh yeah, Waverly was upset about Hot Cop, so Rosita (darling, beautiful, smart Rosita), took her on a spa day.
But look how wrong I was about Tucker!!!
Look you guys, I love Waverly. I do. But even her role as history buff hasn’t been utilized. I want her to have something to do other than being Wynonna’s nice sister. You know? Anyway. I hope she IS half Revenant, and I hope that gives her something awesome to do / be, and I realize I don’t deserve 17 medals for calling it that she may be Bobo’s daughter, because even Waverly herself was like, “yeahhhh, it’s super obvs, right?” So FINE, I’LL TAKE THEM OFF.
Meanwhile, Dolls and Jeremy (heart you), went to the evil sister wives’ house and found the real sisters.
- Let it never be forgotten that WAVERLY kissed ROSITA, not the other way around. T’wasn’t Rosita’s fault!
- No Bobo this episode. What do you guys think he’s up to? Grooming his beard? Shopping for furry coats? Acclimating to his new sympathetic storyline?
- Remember Champ? Hahaha
- Have I mentioned that I love Jeremy?
As is tradition for TV shows throughout history, things are really ramping up leading into the season finale. By that I mean, THE SHIT IS HITTING THE FAN YOU GUYS AND I AM UPSET, but also having fun, so, episode 10, let’s do this.
Not-Mercedes, believing Hot Cop had the ring, was VERY RUDELY attacking her, when Waverly popped in to do some good ol’ fashioned rescuing.
Worth noting – ‘member when Waverley was like, “I won’t tell Wynonna about you,” and then the very next second was all, “I kissed Rosita who is a Revenant!”. So now Wynonna knows and threatened Rosita a bit, and gave her the, “I’ll shoot you last” consolation prize.
Anyway, Not-Beth approached Waverly for a deal; give her the seal and she’ll save Hot Cop.
Oh, hey, remember last season when Sheriff Nedley became THE BEST? Well, that’s still going on.
Anyway, Wynonna and Doc raced in to save him, and they snagged Not-Mercedes, got her venom and everything was great!
Here’s the thing, you guys. Television shows need conflict, and if a bigger bad is talked about, a bigger bad must appear. That is TV law. And good-guy plans must NOT go smoothly. And NO ONE goes to the bathroom, ever.
The writers needed a way to get Clootie on the board. This is always a messy gamble in TV because it means at least one of your beloved characters has to mess up. Some TV shows blunder with this, making their character suddenly stupid, or forgetful, or impulsive jerks.
I tip my nacho-hat to you, show, I don’t even care if some salsa pours out. This was 100% believable. Yes, Waverly was acting impulsively, but it took A LOT to get her there. As an audience member it’s easy to say ‘she should have waited’, but as Waverly, as someone whose love was dying… yeah man, I get it. Waverly is the kind of person who would do whatever it takes to save the ones she loves, and I believed every move she made this episode.
- WHERE IN THE SWEET HELL IS BOBO
- Dolls hugging Waverly to comfort her, and then offering to take the blame if she gives up the ring… just… *slow clap for the solid relationships on this show*
- Hot Cop has a WIFE?!?!
- Jeremy, though!
It’s a Wonderful Life took over Purgatory! Episode 11 was fun, if not a bit filler-y. It was nice to reinforce the characters personal arcs, though! Waverly once again embracing who she is. Hot Cop being the Sheriff, protecting the “non werewolves”, as Nedley put it last season. Jeremy working up the nerve to ask out Doc. Dolls as an unwavering honorable lawman. This was an alternate Wynonna-less universe, but the characters we’ve grown to love were still the same.
Except… Doc. It was interesting that he was the only one to retain his memories, and that his alternate life was the most changed. I guess without Wynonna, Doc would be an unconscionable gangster, chaining up women and murdering lovable sheriffs.
It’s also interesting to note that without Wynonna, Dolls is still a good man, if not a bit more crusty.
Now, let’s talk about the best part of this episode, and this time, miraculously, I’m not talking about Jeremy.
And then Demon Clootie WOKE UP! Baahahahha what a shit show, I love it.
- Remember last season when I was like, “you know you’re watching a great show when you can take the main character out of the plot and you’re still totally captivated” or whatever the hell I said? CASE AND POINT. I love Wynonna and Melanie Scrofano who plays her, but at no point was I bored without her.
- I liked the explanation that it was a flimsy veil. A trick. A weak, low-rent spell. This way they didn’t have to change everything about the reality, and the plot could move forward without it being meaningless.
- Hi cute guy that Wynonna kissed that one time after rescuing you from that demon! Fun to see you again as Waverly’s fake-soon-to-be-husband!
- Doc and Dolls killed each other, but they are still undeniably best friends. Stating this fact was Doll’s last words!
- You know who I reeeeeeally love?
Jeremy in Doc’s hat was too precious. It was TOO PRECIOUS, I tell you.
Whooooooooooboy, now THAT is how you close a season! Episode 12 wrapped up some stuff while also introducing some stuff. So much stuff, you guys!
- Beautiful baby born? Check
- Main characters all brought back back to life? Check
- Character-clean-house? Check (bye Brendan Fehr, I will see you in my dreams / internet searches)
- Medium bad dispatched, and bigger bad set up for next season? Check
- Awesome new character hinted at? FREAKING CHECK
You guys, this show is very good. It’s silly and preposterous, it’s fun, it’s cheesy and absurd, it’s funny and touching, and it’s, quite frankly, important. Society is going through a tough time, and we need shows like this. We need shows that entertain, that make the impossible possible, that suspends your belief so far that you temporarily forget about our anxiety-filled reality, and yet it somehow still portrays important issues we’re dealing with today.
We need TV that showcases women and people of colour and LGBT. We need flawed, relatable characters, and beautiful relationships that aren’t solely based on sexual attraction. We need to see bro friendships and lady friendships and family friendships and friendships between men and women. We need to see people caring about each other, and going to great lengths to keep each other safe and, as happy as it is possible for them to be. We need characters with autonomy, written as capable, kick-ass human beings who get it done.
We need Wynonna Earp. So before I continue this silly, absurd recap, I’d like to say thank you to everyone involved in bringing this show to us. Thank you to the creators of the original comic, to the producers and writers and showrunner and actors and everyone else behind the scenes. I was late, but I’m here now. I’m SO here for this.
Okay, OKAY, I’m done, let’s photo-recap!
The non-sisters are hella powerful now that their hubs is awake, and Bobo is still a telekinetic wild-card, so this showdown did not go great. He flung them around a bit, then the bads vamoosed while the sisters made-up.
Being brutally killed by his best friend in an alternate universe seems to have hit Doc pretty hard, which is fair considering he went TO HELL. Man oh man that was a tough reveal. Any theories on why? Is it a morality thing? Is it the price he pays for his longevity? Does Satan just want a handsome rouge to have fun with? Anyway, Dolls came to get him and to make sure they’re still best friends, and to bring him to Wynonna, who was inconveniently in labour.
Meanwhile, Bobo showed the non-sisters to their beloved husband’s tomb, but then Not-Mercedes cut his hand off, stole his ring, then vamoosed and buried them all in rubble. Classic family squabble.
This new look was very funny and I appreciated it.
Look, I realize the order and our team didn’t start off on a super great foot, but I didn’t think they were total wieners! I was quite looking forward to a reluctant yet fun team-up, but not anymore! They murdered a doctor JUST CAUSE, and they were going to steal Wynonna’s baby??? FAUX PAS, guys! They deserved to be BBQed. They’re totally dead now, right? OR ARE THEY??? Murder doesn’t seem like Dolls’ style, but he was in a rush, sooooo…. I dunno. I guess we’ll see in season 3. I am not very good at predicting when characters are really dead or not, except in the case of Willa. I totally got 17 medals for that one.
Wynonna and Waverly went to Twin Witchsmith for some answers about the magical plate, and instead walked out with a single bullet magical enough to put down a big bad.
Before they could make it to Clootie, however, they run into the non-sisters, who had their loved ones popsicled. So Doc and Wynonna staged an adorable play where they both acted like they would shoot each other, but then Doc’s bullet SPLIT the Magic bullet and each piece went into a non-sister. READ THAT SENTENCE AGAIN! It was delightfully preposterous, and it did the trick. Bye non-sisters!
Then Wynonna went into for-real labour and ran into some complications of the Revenant variety, but luckily peacemaker is voice-activated now.
This was a big moment for the sisters. Waverly has been struggling with who she is, and Wynonna had to remind her that it doesn’t matter who technically made her, Waverly IS an Earp. Peacemaker lit up blue and fired, but didn’t hit Rosita, so she scampered off.
In an amazingly powerful couple of scenes that I simply cannot bring myself to caption, both Wynonna and Doc separately said goodbye to their daughter, and Waverley walked her across the line, proving that neither of them have Revenant blood.
Because I suppose the actor who plays Perry was still wandering around the set from his cameo in the previous episode, they were like, “give the baby to that guy!” This was actually quite nice. He’s still appreciative of Wynonna saving his life that time, so he used his resources to get the baby out of town, and into the care of Gus (remember Gus?!?!?) who is probably too busy making matching mini turquoise earrings to come fetch the baby herself.
Okay, so Bobo is legit crazy, just total wackado bonkers, and he plans to sacrifice Waverly to his new… Dad? God? Boss? Whatever. What I’m saying is, he drank the koolaid super hard, buuuuuuuut there’s still hope for him, right? His behaviour is because he A) went to hell for a bit, and B) has been put under some kind of demon spell. Look. I like this guy. I like his complex backstory, and I like Michael Eklund’s compelling performance. And I just… you guys, I just love a redemption story so hard! I WANT IT OKAY?!?!?!
*pulls self together* a-hem. So anyway, Doc impaled him and threw him down the increasingly famous well, to think about what he’s done.
It’s MAMA EARP! What does this mean? How did Wynonna know how to find her? Has she just been living in the woods since she left, or did she recently pop back for some chats? And what did Wynonna mean by “you were right.” Did Mama Earp try to warn them about Big Bad? Or about Waverly? This is very exciting, you guys, VERY EXCITING, especially considering she’s going to be portrayed by the amazing legend Megan Follows.
And that’s that! This show is very fun, and I’m grateful to all the people who commented / tweeted / carrier pigeoned me to recap it. I had a good time, and I’m pretty darn pumped for season 3.
SOME FINAL STUFF
- “Shit strumpet” hahahaha forever.
- Melanie Scrofano was really pregnant while filming! That is wildly impressive, so hats off to you, girl!
- When I’m recapping a show I’ve never seen, I try to stay away from the internet or any other media so as not to be influenced by other opinions. However now that I have scoured twitter, I will concede that WayHaught is a better shipper name, and shall henceforth use it in all future recaps. I shan’t go back and change all HaughtWave references, though, for authenticity. Also I’m lazy.
- It seems as if the sexy Black Badge agent lady from episode 1, who seemed kinda important and then was never mentioned again, is, in fact, dead. OR IS SHE??? Yeahhhhhh, seems like.
- Waverley’s lineage continues to be a mystery. I suppose some of my medals should be taken away because this show GOT ME SO HARD. I was sure Bobo was going to be her bio-pops, but NOPE. Also – quick question – she keeps saying she’s not an Earp, fine, but she also keeps saying she’s not Wynonna’s sister. They still have the same mom, no?
- Everyone is so great in this show. Everyone. They’re all very talented and dreamy. Jeremy is my favourite.
- Soooooo, the big bad guy, Clootie, the horrible demon-monster, he was a…. Sheriff? Did he look like that when he was elected? Did he bewitch people into seeing Clint Eastwood or something? Did he just constantly cover his demon-face with a giant hat? Inquiring minds need to know.
- I’m going to be recapping season 3 by episode. For those of you new to my wackadoo ramblings, that means the recap will be up about halfway through the day after. I post it to twitter as soon as it’s done – @ToniMaggio
Okay bye guys! This was fun! Thanks for having me! See you for Season 3!
[Originally Posted June 2018 on tv.com]
Toni Watches 
ORIGINAL POST COMMENTS:
TrevPlatt
Jul 29, 2018
Great re-caps, just what I needed before the new season. We’re behind you by a couple of weeks on this side of the Big Drink but I’ll catch up with you as soon as I’m able. Having said that, I’m now off to read the Episode 1 re-cap! Keep up the fantastic work.
dbjean22
Jul 01, 2018
I love your wit. Looking forward to Season 3 for two reasons…Addicted to Wynonna Earp…and…can’t get enough of your photo recaps. Thanks for being you.
Toni_watches Jul 01, 2018
It’s rare when a comment doesn’t make me want to respond with a joke. This made me feel great. Thank you.
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