The 100 “Hesperides” Photo-Recap; Ghoster Coaster

Well, well, well, now we’re cooking with gas! Hesperides brought our squads one step closer to that sweet sweet reunion we all crave, while at the same time bringing them soooooooo much further apart. Sanctumventure Squad is now hip to the wise about the planet-hopping roller coaster in their back yard, and the Anomalsquad is on their way to Bardo! Of course, this is The 100, so the journey to get there was a moral merry-go-round of lovable pep-talks and straight-up villany. 

How are you guys handling everything? Are you disappointed our heroes befriended and betrayed a lovable scruffian? Are you excited to see how in the sweet hell our other heroes get off Planet Hoth? Are you SO MAD AT MILLER RIGHT NOW????? “What the hell, this planet sucks anyway.” EX-FRICKEN-SQUEEEEEEEEZE ME??? Did he seriously just anomalhop to another planet without so much as a “smell you later” to his ONE TRUE FREAKING LOVE??? 

I’m upset. 

Besides the utter eraser of our beloved #Mackson, and the lack of Beautiful Creepmori, the episode was pretty stellar (see what I did), so let’s get to it. 

We picked up where The Garden left off, with Sad Hope staring off into the middle distance, calling out for her girl band. But she wouldn’t be belting Celine Dion’s All By Myself for too long, because pretty soon she got a visitor! 

Hope wasn’t having it at first, but then the whole ‘we’re the only two people on the planet’ reality sank in, and we got a pretty standard building-a-friendship montage complete with knife throwing, hand to hand combat, and tattoos. 

The Anomaljerks showed up to collect Hope’s dreamboat-father-friend, but Hope froze and didn’t immediately kill them. You know what that means on this show – someone had to die. So Dev got stabbed and bled out in Hope’s arms. Such a fun episode so far! 

Back in the present, Gabe was beating the heck out of Pete, whom we now know is actually Orlando (but whatever). Hope was all, “yeahhhhhhh, thing is, we need him to fall in love with us and be our homey for 5 years, so maybe don’t?” 

Back in Pleasantville, Santumventure Squad’s “scouts” (LOL) found the dead body of an InvisaLady, which brought their attention to the actual plot of the show. Then Clarke was summoned by Clay Aiken himself (love me for me), because apparently she’s the key to the season finale or something?

Oh, also, Hi NIYLAH! 

Anyway, they decided to adventure squad instead of making Clarke go by herself, but first there needed to be a lady pep talk. 

Clarke and Raven FINALLY had a moment to discuss the soul-altering guilt of killing people for the ‘greater good’. I wouldn’t say no to an entire episode of this (plus some compliment riffs and hugs and braids and pillow fights). They seem to be on their way to not only being on the same team, but also the same page, and that is very exciting to me. 

They had a quick zoom meeting with the Ass-colytes (okay, this one was a stretch, it’s been a long day!), and it went comparatively fine by the Squad’s standards. They told Clarke she was going to end all wars ever, and that they’d give her pals back if she went on a road trip with them. She was like, “will there be snacks?” and they were all, “it literally takes like 8 seconds,” and Clarke was like, “and will there be snacks?” 

Meanwhile, my new favourite team-up Raven and Jordan were trying to figure out the Invisibility Cloak when they decided it was time for a heart-to-heart about how Jordan was stabbed that one time. Raven apologized (I assume on behalf of the entire Squad) for basically ignoring him for an entire season. I’ll admit, I legitimately forgot about whatever they were talking about, but I do think more people need to be connecting with this kid, otherwise what was the point of his character (other than being downright ADORABLE)? 

Remember that time Raven spent 6 years in space with Bellamy and Echo? Remember how their little Spaceventure Squad kept saying they were family? Remember how that included the Beautiful Creepster and Emori? Why am I mentioning that? Oh, NO REASON.  

Raven figured out how to use the Google helmet (just think of a wonderful thought) and saw the anomalmap. Now that they knew how to use the anomaltrain, all they needed were some tickets! Oh, and she saw that Clarke was a target, so off they went to save the day.

The Anomalsquad were trying to lure Orlando to the bosom of their friendship by gardening. Presumably he’d see that and be like, “damn, that looks like more fun than a corpse tea party.” And it worked!

He came to offer some pumpkin seeds, and his manner was VERY different from when he hysterically smashed their dvd player and dug up dead bodies. Do you think he went to finishing school during his endless downtime? Anyway, Gabe came out and scared him off (probably intimidated by his rugged beauty), but never fear, the Anomalsquad had a backup plan. 

Hope pretended to be drowning in the river, and heroic Sir Orlando swam out to save her. Yay! A bond was forged! 

Sir Orlando ain’t no fool! You’d think after over a hundred years of living Gabriel would be cooler with lying, but nope! Boy made a nube mistake and mentioned Hope’s “navy seal terrorist” mother, and the jig was up! Orlando knew everything was staged, and walked out in an indignant huff worthy of his station. They did manage to very covertly (it was not at all covert) get some information from him first; the baddies this season worship a dude named Shepherd, and they take Sundays very seriously.

Orlando stopped on by with some popcorn and opera glasses to watch the Anomalsquad kerfuffle with each other, but he wasn’t super keen on the show. Echo took it pretty rough (they worked REALLY hard on that!) and began to chirp him, and a friendly wager was formed: if she could beat him up, he had to help them, but if HE handed her her ass, then he got the cabin. 

Hahahahahahahha, I loved this. After losing their shelter, Anomalsquad enjoyed a nice campfire where they spoke about memory capture and the possibility of their loved ones being horribly tortured. 

“I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose him,” was a very telling remark made by a soldier without a commander. Echo literally doesn’t know what she’ll do – whose orders she’ll follow, what war she’ll fight – if Bellamy dies. Yes, she loves him, but it goes beyond that. What’s interesting is that this servitude is self-inflicted. I sincerely hope Echo finds her own autonomy before this series comes to an end. 

GABRIEL! Hahaha, stop being so adorably bad at interacting with other humans! (never stop) Gabe just couldn’t help busting out phrases like “false Gods” and “bastardizing” while trying to convince Orlando to help them. SHOCKINGLY, it worked (he was probably just bewitched by Gabe’s tank top, I know I was), and he Wax-On-Wax-Offed them into shape.

And just like that, it was 5 years later, and this happy little family was foregoing Jenga night in favour of some face painting. They had a nice chat about how much they all love each other, and how Gabe is “always eating” (THEY HAVE INSIDE JOKES, YOU GUYS!) while getting ready to non-violently *wink* storm the castle. 

Uh oh spaghettios! One of the cult-ettes was about to kill Echo when Hope learned from her mistakes and stabbed her in the throat with her own knife. This upset Sir Orlando, which then made Echo realize (for the first time?) that he had regular human feelings and those feelings would likely interfere with their plan. He had been pretty clear about the no-death rule, and now that it was broken, all bets were off. So, Echo did what she thought was their only choice – she killed the rest of the choir boys and convinced the Anomalsquad to leave Sir Orlando behind. 

What’s that? Oh, just the sound of the trash compactor currently crushing MY HEART. Gosh darnit this hurt. Maybe Echo wasn’t wrong about her theory, but also, POOR SIR ORLANDO! I mean, this is The 100; a show that often presents us with two-sided plots, actions we can justify from both angles, and people who embody both good and evil… still though. Damn. 

And so Anomalsquad popped on the super suits and scooted on through to Bardo. Good luck, team! 

The Sanctumventure Squad put on a pretty good show of being tough guys, and were about to be bested by some invisible brats when Jordan acted as a diversion and Raven invisi-murdered them with their own tech. I honestly thought she just stunned them (the suit has that function, right), but then she got all guilty about it, and I stood corrected. 

Now that their entry-level-enemies were dead, it was a straight shot to the anomalride! 

Buuuuuuut, Google maps was on the fritz, and they didn’t know which planet their friends had just vacated. So they played some planet-roulette and picked willy-nilly. 

Ugh. Anyway, Gaia opted to stay behind and warn the others, BUT…

Oh no! An invisi-jerk attacked her and dragged her through the anomaly after disabling the Sanctum subway stop! They likely programmed it for Bardo, so I’m guessing we can expect a sub-reunion once the Squad goes the long way around. 

Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnn…

They picked the wrong planet (was anyone else yelling at the screen, “the one with the ring, you fool!”?) and ended up in a BEAUTIFUL winter wonderland that they didn’t seem to enjoy. Miller was automatically like, “nope, I’m out,” BUT, they couldn’t hop back on the intergalactic trolly ride because they didn’t have an anomaly stone. FUN! (I sincerely hope this turns into something connected and not just a side quest, I’m so sorry)

Last week I mentioned the fact that The 100 currently felt like 2 different shows. This episode definitely helped to bridge that gap. Though it’s still very obviously 2 different storylines, it now feels connected. They’re working towards a common goal, and hopefully their paths will intersect and we’ll get the reunion we all crave (AND THEN GO BACK TO JACKSON AND APOLOGIZE FOR THE REST OF THEIR DAMN LIVES). 

SOME STUFF

• I loved how Hope was like, “I was ten!” when they questioned why Diyoza hadn’t told her about being a terrorist, yet no one has thought twice about Hope knowing about that one time Echo stabbed Octavia right off a cliff. 

• That opening sequence… *chef’s kiss*

• Niylah is legit in the squad now, no take-backsies! !! She’s on her first real adventure! I am wildly concerned for her safety! What a treat!  

• I guess I like that Madi gets to be a regular kid now, but I’m not super pleased that it seems to have taken her out of the narrative. #MissYouMadi! (I know, I know, she’ll likely come back in with those past commander visions, but that feels pretty far away)

• Who do we think Lil’ Shied is manipulating right now? He better keep his double-body-snatched hands away from Picasso, is all I’m saying! 

• The D-bag Disciple wasn’t wrong, you guys. They HAVEN’T killed any of our squad, and in return our squad has killed A TON of them. “Sorry for killing so many of you, but in our defense, literally every new group of people we’ve ever met has tried to brutally murder us, sooooo……” *shrug* 

• I counted, and the word “friends” was said seven hundred and twenty three times this episode.

• “Huh, guess I’m out of a job.” hahahaahha Raven’s reaction to the wormholes was delightful. 

• What do we think Emori and the Beautiful Creepster were up to this episode, and why weren’t they EVEN MENTIONED?? I understand this is a big cast, and we can’t always see our favs, and sometimes they have to “scavenge for parts,” or “check out the reactor”, or “start a band with the Grounders”, but these people all love each other, for better or for worse. They wouldn’t just leave their friends without a second thought. They wouldn’t put together an Adventure Squad without even considering asking their pals. AND JACKSON. 

• Raven seemed surprised when Jordan mentioned he was stabbed. Did… did no one tell Raven that JORDAN WAS STABBED????? Who else doesn’t know?? 

• They can all ride motorbikes because of REASONS. 

• Hi Clyde!! Fun guilt-cameo! 

• We got another flashback of Hope and Octavia gardening, which seemed to be there only to say the title of the episode, but I wasn’t mad. Miss you, O! 

• How did Orlando know Hope’s name? Why was his doll named Hope? Did he see it written somewhere in the cabin, or did he meet Diyoza and Octavia before being sent to jail? Did he spend his “day of rest” chilling with them? 

• Related: WHAT WAS IN ORLANDO’S SUICIDE NOTE, AND IS HE REALLY DEAD OR WAS THAT A BIG FAT STUPID LIE????

• I’m super late on this, buuuuuuut, Bill Cadogan of “that creepy cult” fame is totally the Shepherd, right?

• Do you think Bellamy misses having access to cookies? 

• Congratulations to our JOKES FROM THE PAAAAAAAAAST runners-up sir_lainelot and Unrepentant Snafu who guessed ‘Raven’s Ponytail ‘, which WAS a callback to season 5, but unfortunately was put into last week’s recap out of necessity (#RavensHairDeservesBetter).

And congratulations to our winner, ninjachris3, for spotting poor ol’ Clyde’s familiar parting words:

If you’re looking for something to read, might I suggest How To Be An Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi. #BlackLivesMatter

OKAY THAT’S IT FROM ME! AS ALWAYS, ILY VERY MUCH, STAY SAFE OUT THERE!