Sanditon 2.3 Photo-Recap: Balloons and Bullsh*t

You guys, has anyone told Sanditon that we’re only on episode three? Anyone in their DMs? We should probably let them know. Things are happening at such a pace, I’m scared the Sanditon team isn’t aware that they have two full seasons. 

Things are HAPPENING. People are showing their true colours, triangles are solidifying (with clear indication of becoming straight lines), and bonds are being forged (on presumably very messy staircases). The speed with which things are progressing has me very worried (what shit are they going to throw at us??? 😟) but also very excited (WHAT SHIT WILL THEY THROW AT US??? 😃)

This episode opened with Alison mooning over Captain Carter for no reason, and Charlotte being all, “you’re dumb, love is dumb, everything is dumb.” Hahahha, girl, just WAIT. 

Carter! If you have to ask your pal to pull a Cyrano, then maybe She’s Just Not That Into (the real) You. Fraser let him borrow his Book o’ Culture, and what came of it was dazzling enough to sweep Alison off her cute lil’ tootsies.

His pants were simply AFLAME this episode. He just keeps adding to his towering stack of lies.

Fraser may be Cryannoing for him, but he’s NOT cool with straight-up fibs, especially not after gathering flowers in a field with the gullible woman in question! That is a sacred romantic act! 

Over at Denham Palace, Clara was spinning yarns about her victimhood in the conception of her unborn child, so Lady D called Sir FartFace over to get it settled, Maury Povich style. 

Sir ButtBreath pulled a 45 and denied, denied, denied, prompting majestic eye-rolls from all the women in the room. Then he went to the garden to have a chat with his baby-mama, and she was basically like, “The game is afoot,” and he was like, “I don’t get that reference,” and she was like, “You really are just so dumb,” and he was like, “Don’t eff up my shit,” and she was all, “Don’t YOU eff up MY shit.” Then they pinky swore and parted ways. I’m honestly kind of shocked this wasn’t a joint plan, but since no one was around to witness this exchange, I suppose we’re meant to accept that they’re not in cahoots (yet). 

Meanwhile, Lockhart sent Georgiana some unsolicited fan art, and she was NOT pleased about it. She expressed her feelings to Arthur about people’s prejudice-based attention, and how even the most well meaning curiosity can feel alienating. 

I poke fun (t’is my prerogative), but I do see what he was saying. He has the opposite experience (which he acknowledged), where Lockhart made him feel truly seen for maybe the first time in his life. This prompted Georgiana to look at the situation differently, and demand her own autonomy in how she wants to be viewed. 

She marched to his artist shack and demanded he draw her the way SHE wants, and he was like, “can’t wait, m’lady,” and you guys, I still don’t know. He seems rather overbearing with his unsolicited assessment of her life and choices. I just don’t know! I’m really not feeling this one. 

One I AM feeling, however…

Charlotte went off searching for Leo in the grounds, which as a teacher I was like, “do NOT placate this behaviour!” but as a viewer I was very excited for mishaps and adventures. She didn’t find her wandering charge, but instead a dreamy sad-dad trying to calm a horse. Naturally, our girl did his work for him, then he did a mind-meld with the majestic beast, and it was all just a bit MUCH for them both. 

How did they pack all the tropes into a 75 second scene?? The rain, his jacket, their playful banter, her telling it how it is, him going full emo. It’s almost TOO much??? We’re on on episode three! I’m worried for our hearts and loins, you guys, truly. Anyway, later Charlotte managed to eye-guilt him into joining them for a picnic, and Lil’ Leo was instantly aboard this ship.

Meanwhile, Tom’s perfect day turned to shit when his main attraction for a fair bailed on him. So naturally he threw a hissy.

You guys, I don’t like Tom. I just don’t. Last season he was an amusing boob, but this season he’s just straight-up dumb and mean. He treats Arthur like he would rather be talking to any other person in the world, meanwhile Arthur has legit good ideas and keen sense. Tom is ALLLLLLLL about that army barracks, but Arthur smells trouble. Gee, who do we think is going to be right in the end?? What a bum face! 

Speaking of the army, Colonel Poor-Man’s-Lead volunteered his hot air balloon for the fair, securing him a place in Tom’s dumb heart forever. 

What a romp! No one was willing to ride to their possible breezy doom in a giant balloon, so Charlotte was like, “sounds fun,” and stepped right up. This was very nearly a fatal disaster until Arthur heroically saved the say and FINALLY got some praise from Tom, albeit not for the reasons he’s been yearning for. *sigh*

Colonel SketchyPants rode with Charlotte and confessed about his fear of heights, which was cute. Then he negated all that progress by spilling the tea on his beef with Sad Dad. 

Um………….what. Colbourne STOLE her from him? Was she the good silver? A Faberge egg? The one ring to rule them all? A person cannot be ‘stolen’ (except that one time Georgiana was, but that’s a different thing, oh and slavery, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN). Lucy clearly married Colbourne of her own free will, and here General Poutybutt was all, “he took his ball and went home and then none of us could play anymore.” Talking about your ex as if she’s a literal object is not the way to a lady’s heart, good sir! 

This was glorious! Clara went into labour and Esther sassed her right up the stairs so she could help her give birth. What is this, a parfait? There were so many delicious LAYERS to this scene!! Clara and Esther’s history, the fact that Clara earnestly asked for help and showed vulnerability for the first time since we’ve known her, the fact that the baby is the child of the man Esther used to love, and of course, the added pain of Esther’s own failed attempts to have a child, MY GOODNESS. 

Do you guys watch kdramas? A weird segway, I know, but I promise I have a point. The norm for Asian dramas is to produce one single season (usually 12-20 episodes) of a story, and that’s it, one and done. The creators know how many episodes they’ll get, and they write the story accordingly. They have an end in mind, is what I’m saying, and the audience knows they have a certain number of episodes to enjoy before an inevitable conclusion (whatever that may be). 

This has a lot in common with our favourite Austen adaptations. Whether they’re movies or mini series, we know we have 2-6 hours to enjoy the angst before we’re presented with a predetermined conclusion. With this soft reboot and the promise of a limited amount of episodes, Sanditon falls into this category. We don’t know what will happen, but we know the creators have the story mapped out. We know they’ll take us on a journey for two seasons before eventually giving us the Austenian ending we deserve. 

I hate to be dramatic about it, but THANK ALL THE POWERS OF HEAVEN AND EARTH FOR THIS GIFT. Truly. 

• Esther’s eye-roll is masterful. We should all take notes.

• The army is wracking up debts and not paying them off, which has whipped the people of Sanditon into an understandable tissy. But sure, Tom! Invite them to stay forever! That’ll be fine! 

• Remember last week when I was all, ‘Tom is clearly heading down a disastrous gambling storyline, SKIP.’ Yeah. I’m sticking with that. 

• One could argue Tom’s attitude towards Arthur stems from his grief over Sidney’s death, but um, pardon me Tom, ARTHUR WAS HIS BROTHER, TOO. Or is Tom’s the only grief that matters? Okay, I’ll stop.

• You may notice I’m recapping storyline by storyline instead of chronologically. At present all the workings of Sanditon feel very separate from each other. I trust in the future these threads will come together into a beautiful cohesive tapestry. 

• Sir StankButt stole a letter meant to Esther. What is that boy UP TO?? 

• Our glorious queen Esther was in pain because of the herbs the witch gave her, and Fuchs was like, “NEVER TRUST A SEA WITCH, don’t ask me how I know, the ones you want live in trees, but they’re hard to find, so here is a tonic instead.” This storyline is hurting my heart, you guys. She wants it so bad. 😦 

• Speaking of pain, Clara appears to be going through some postpartum depression, and if Esther helps her through it MY HEART WILL SOAR. 

• Fraser’s sweet lil’ smile when Alison said “Carter’s” letter saw into her soul… 🥰🥺

• Sad Dad was all, “it’s for the best” that the girls barely know him. What HAPPENED??? Why is this sexy grump carrying around so much guilt?? 

• If you’re intrigued by kdramas, might I suggest Hometown Cha Cha Cha? It’s an excellent way to dip your toes into the genre, and then it’s all ‘whoopsie, now I’m addicted’. **whispers** one of us… one of us… 

• “I shall pass on the flying hamper.” Never change, Arthur, never change. 

• I want a Georgiana / Lady D team-up SO BAD. They’re both so damn fierce – imagine what they could accomplish if they combined their power Captain Planet style??? Unstoppable! Granted, attitudes would have to shift, and Lady D would have to cool it on her overt racism… but like, IMAGINE????

• Did anyone else find it hilarious that Charlotte’s balloon ride almost ended in disaster, THEN everyone was like, “Oh it for sure IS dangerous? Sign me up!”

THAT’S IT FROM THIS GAL THANKS FOR STOPPING BY FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!