Well, well, well, things are really floating to the surface, aren’t they? Alison’s heart really must have sunk. You know what they say, secrets rarely stay submerged. Fine, I’ll stop. Let’s get serious. It was Alison who fell into the water, but it is Charlotte who is drowning in LIES. (Thank you, thank you, I am ready to accept my pulitzer). What a reversal of situation our sisters experienced this episode! Alison’s eyes have been opened to Carter’s deception, but Charlotte is still struggling to fully comprehend the absolute shit swamp she’s been plunged into (okay NOW I’ll stop).
The Heywoods aren’t the only ones dealing with deception; whether it’s self-deception (more on that later, *cough* Arthur *cough*), overt manipulation (Sir ButtBreath, you stop it!), or murky motivations (what is your DEAL, Lockhart???), lies, deflections (just pay your bill, Lennox!) and half-truths abound in Sanditon.
Oh boy. Carter did not heed Fraser’s warning last episode at ALL. Or THIS episode, for that matter, considering a very shirtless Fraser *giggle* reiterated his plea for Carter to come clean. Not only did Carter NOT, but he planned to betroth her with the lure of false advertising! **shaaaaaaaaaaame gif**
Sometimes I hate being right. Sidney was in Antigua to fight a claim against Georgiana’s legitimacy for her inheritance. I get it, I get this storyline and why they went with it, but I hate it, I hate it, I hate it so much. Our girl has ENOUGH to deal with. Please let it end here, please please please. Less gross white men after our girl’s money, and more tripping the light fantastic with Arthur.
Georgiana was posing for the portrait she’d commissioned from Lockhart, but he was like, “Yuck, I have to draw you as you are?? Borrrrrringggggg! Hey you know what would be great for me? If you flew into a wild rage or bit a rock in half or something.” And Georgiana was like, “…. for the hours it would take you to draw me?” And he was like, “don’t question my process,” and she was all, “bye.”
Ugh. Maybe this show will prove me wrong, but I just don’t like him! I truly hope the third season will be put to use in swerving Georgiana’s love life (bring back Otis? Introduce someone who respects her unconditionally?) OR making Lockhart learn a lesson HIMSELF instead of constantly trying to shove life lessons onto Georgiana. Make him worthy of her, then I’ll get on board. But right now, he just isn’t.
Remember last recap when I was like, “the only thing I desire in this life or the next is for Esther to help Clara through her postpartum depression and for them to form a formidable alliance / bestfriendship” (I’m paraphrasing). Anyway, all my dreams are coming truuuuuuuuuuueeeeee! Esther showed actual emotion to Clara, which naturally led her to figure out Esther’s struggle. She in turn revealed that her reluctance to bond with her son stems from insecurities about not being a good enough mother.
It’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and it is HAPPENING. Well, if Sir SnotMouth doesn’t eff it all up, that is.
Not only does he want to legitimize his son so they can get the Denham money, but he also wants to discredit Esther by making her seem irrational and unhinged. How will he do that? Oh, right, by EFFING WITH HER RELATIONSHIP WITH BABS.
We now know why Sir SludgeBreath stole Esther’s letter off the fancy tray like a teen swiping ten bucks from his mom’s purse. He wants her to believe Babs doesn’t love her anymore. Ugh, he’s so TOXIC, and not in the fun Britney Spears way!
BUT. No matter how many evil buttholes get to schemin’, this show will always leave me feeling warm and gooey. Why, you ask? Well…
**dreamy sigh** I live for this stuff. A grumpy hunk hanging back to watch a spirited woman having fun? Her smile, the dopey expression on his face, the actual joy coming from the kids… my goodness, it was all a bit much, wasn’t it? The sponge cake in my chest that functions as my heart can only take so much. Anyway, then Colbourne was like, “dust off your little black dress and make some jello shots, we’re going to a party!”
This episode is ticking all my favourite tropes! Someone describes their crush TO their dumb-dumb crushes who don’t know it’s THEM??? I love it so much. Fraser, you beautiful sassypants, someday you’ll learn how to express yourself without accidentally insulting the object of your intense affection. When he told Alison that she’s a “farmer’s daughter” WE knew he was trying to tell her that she didn’t need to pretend to be something else, but SHE took it that she’s not good enough for a Captain. Oooooffff that one hurt.
Charlotte found out Carter had been lying about being in battle, so naturally she and Georgiana closed ranks around Alison to protect her. She, of course, was all, “NUH UH YOU SHREWS!” and ran off to get fiancéd to a lying liar. Oh, youths!
The entire world shifted on its axis the moment Colbourne saw Charlotte all gussied up, and it seemed his heart jumped right out of his chest into her hands, but no worries dude, I’m sure it was just allergies or something. **wink** Then Lennox showed up and the boys grimaced at each other while the ladies were like, “WTF?” then Lennox was all, “Don’t worry everyone, I shall be the better man and put aside our differences! Everyone look! See how I’m being the better man??? Cause I am.”
When it came time to eat the excessive cake, Georgiana was all, “OR we could check our privilege,” and everyone was like, “hmmm, never done that before, let’s give it a try,” and they ALL put their plates back!! This was such a triumphant moment, and even Esther couldn’t help but smile despite her aunt’s distress. Then Lockhart gave her a look like, “Atta girl,” and the implication was, “I have inspired this confidence in you,” even though she was ALWAYS THIS SASSY.
Oh Arthur. I know he thinks he’s being a good friend, but considering the time period and her position, this is self destructive behaviour that he shouldn’t be encouraging. Our boy is so determined not to examine himself that he’s focusing all his energy on others. It’s sweet in the abstract, but in reality he’s not being a good friend to Georgiana. She could quite literally be ruined by this. And what does Arthur know about Lockhart, truly? That he’s charming? Is that enough to thrust your good friend (a friend who is particularly vulnerable on many levels) into his arms? Even in today’s dating world this is not great friend behaviour. 😦
Taking advantage of a woman’s emotional vulnerability? What a catch! Are either of these men considering what it would do to her if she was caught smooching out of wedlock? And what would it do to them? Nothing. Only she would be hurt. Both her friend and love interest need to start considering not only the consequences for her, but also HER feelings. Does she even like Lockhart, or is she just being worn down?
ANYWAY. They didn’t quite kiss, which was a bullet dodged. Speaking of!
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFOREVER, I loved this so much. That poor dumb-dumb enthusiastically accepted Carter’s proposal then promptly fell into the lake and almost drowned because he just sat on the boat like, “you good? You don’t need me to come in there, right? It’s just that my jacket is pretty expensive and taking it off seems like a lot of trouble. You got this, right?”
Carter. If you’re going to lie about saving people from drowning, maybe KNOW HOW TO SWIM??? Hahahahahahaha, anyway, Fraser saved her and my heart is singing.
Poor Fraser. I mean, obviously poor Alison, but she’ll come to see this moment as a gift from the TV gods soon enough. Meanwhile Fraser has toiled thanklessly to get Carter to stop lying to her, ghost-wrote the letters she loved so much, then heroically saved her from a watery death surrounded by fish poo and lost boots. (There are always old boots in lakes, just ask any cartoon ever) And what did he get in return? Yelled at! Hahahahah I love it so much.
Not every love triangle had such definitive movement forward this episode. In fact, one took an upsetting step backwards.
This archery competition was fraught with tension, simply FRAUGHT, I say. Egged on by Lady D, Colbourne accepted Lennox’s challenge. Then, when it seemed Colbourne might win, Lennox made Charlotte shoot his shot. She obviously nailed it, but then couldn’t pull off the shot for Colbourne. Lennox couldn’t just leave it at that, of course, snarking about his conquests in both love and war.
Lennox is doing the same thing to Colbourne that Sir StinkyKnobHead is doing to Esther! He’s exploiting all of Sad-Dad’s trauma triggers in order to make him act like a lunatic. Now it seems to Charlotte that he stormed out of the party because he lost a dumb game, when really he left because Lennox alluded to his NIECE being as alluring as his DECEASED WIFE. Even setting aside his anger over whatever transpired in their past love triangle, I imagine protective papa-bear instincts took over to get Augusta the heck out of there. This of course transferred to Charlotte as well, since he doesn’t want that gross creep near his crush, either. Gross, gross, gross, just so gross, Lennox can eat a swarm of live bees as far as I’m concerned!
Man oh man, things are certainly heating up! If you simply INSISTED I make predictions for the next two episodes, I would say Alison’s love life will be wrapped up by the end of this season, but Charlotte’s adventure will continue well into season 3. As it should be. Girl is going to get the passionate slow-burn she deserves! Colbourne is going to put in the WORK, and I’m so pumped to see it.
- I loved the opening scene that showed the sisters in exact opposite situations: Alison mooning over someone lying to her, and Charlotte doubting a horse-whispering, honest dreamboat. It’ll all come out in the wash!
- Leo was learning the boy part of the dance! And everyone was just cool with that! ♡
- Speaking of Leo, how ‘bout that moment when they hugged Augusta because she was wearing their mother’s dress? Oh, ouch, hey, owe! Stop it! My heart is not a punching bag, SHOW.
- What do we think Babs is writing in those letters? I bet it’s something like:
I miss your smile, I miss your class
I miss your hair, the colour of brass
I miss your wit and charm and ass
But most of all, I miss your sass
Your babe, Babs
- Can we take a quick seven years to talk about the masterful music on this show?? Overall it’s amazing, but specifically the scene where Sir PoopCheeks put on a show about the baby in the garden, alone with Esther. It felt like a legit psychological thriller. CHILLS, you guys. Chills.
- I love a Getting Ready montage!
- Speaking of, I know I keep harping on Arthur, but the show is truly giving us so many small moments to showcase where he’s at. During the Getting Ready montage, we didn’t see him primp, we saw him HELPING TOM get ready. It’s as if he refuses to do anything for himself, as if he needs to be constantly assisting his loved ones in order to not only fill the void left by Sidney, but to also live up to his legacy. I get the sense Arthur feels like he has to make up for something, which breaks my heart into a thousand pieces (whether my theory of his preferences is correct, or he’s thinking of his past needy behaviour, it’s still soul crushing). I wonder if, in a way, he’s trying to make Sidney proud by taking care of everyone. But in so doing, he’s forgetting to take care of himself, OKAY I’M DONE.
- I’m being hard on my boy Arthur because I love him so much and I just want to see him love and be loved with all the respect and adoration both he and his loved ones deserve. So I will say – the moment he refused to cut the cake was precious and shall live in my heart forevermore.
- Lennox shouldn’t really eat bees because they’re endangered, so #SaveTheBees, and make him drink hot sauce? Or like, eat only Captain Crunch for all meals? That will cut up his mouth SO BAD.
- You guys, I positively adore Ms. Hankins. She seems to genuinely care about Georgiana, she’s cool with nude paintings, and while her crush on Sir TootFace is misguided, it’s still so damn relatable. I suspect she knocked that cricket ball so far because she just felt like hitting something with all her power. Eff the rules of the game!
- “THAT is Mr. Colbourne??” Georgiana KNOWS.
- Thank you to a special Sanditon Sister who helped me with my technical woes so I could access the episode in Korea.
OKAY THAT’S IT FROM ME THANKS FOR STOPPING BY REMEMBER TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!