THE ADVENTURE SQUAD IS BACK!
It has been ten long months since we said a sad, “see ya later alligator” to Clarke, Bellamy, everyone’s favourite ‘Grounder Pounder’, Kane and Abby’s sexual tension, the killer Gorilla, and everyone else we love in this violent, compelling, morally ambiguous masterpiece.
HOW ARE YOU? For real, guys, how did you hold up? Did you get through the dark days by re-watching old episodes? Did you write The 100 fan-fic where Anya comes back as a zombie and teams up with the ghost of the Mountain King, where by day they are private detectives, and by night they are a chart-topping pop-rock duo? Did you gain 36.2 pounds because you ate all your feelings of longing for your favourite teen adventure?
You guys, The 100 is back, and with it all the horror, violence, WHAT THE EFFING EFF moments, CGI dinners, and sassy sass that we’ve all missed so damn much.
Season Three began with a much needed time jump, which hadn’t happened in the show to date, with the exception of the 2 days after Finn went bonkers and murdered a peaceful village in the name of love (oh, teens!). The show hit the ground running (yes, that was a pun, did you miss me?) in the pilot, and never, ever stopped. Season 2 picked up the moment Season 1 signed off, which meant that no one got the chance to take a breath.
I’ve never done the math (because it’s nearly impossible for me, my taxes are just crayon drawings of me shrugging), but I’m fairly certain both seasons 1 and 2 spanned about two months. Right? Maybe three? That is A LOT of stuff to go down in a short time. So, yes, it was imperative that the people we’ve grown to love (yes, that includes the Red Shirts), got some time to enjoy their hard-fought-for peace before shit inevitably covered all the fans.
They have cars! They have a “wall”, and alpha units or whatever, and they’ve scavenged the Mountain, and Jasper is a bit of a manic, and Bellamy has a hot new girlfriend (seriously though, how many of you are SO MAD right now… you know I love your shipping passion… give it to me!).
Anyway, what I’m saying is, I’m so very, VERY happy to see all our old friends, and discover what they’ve been up to in the past three months. Let’s dive in!
The episode began with everyone’s favourite Beautiful Creepster, who probably got inspired by the likes of Wild, and Into the Wild, and Wild Things, and decided now was the time to do some solo self-reflection and really get to know himself, you know?
While Murphy was learning about himself, he ALSO learned that Alie modeled her avatar after her creator, and that her main objective was to help the world, which she believed had too many people. I wonder if she gets together with Skynet and Ultron to laugh about how stupid humans are for making them in the first place. Stupid humans.
Then the doors opened and Murphy stumbled into the world, straight into the pompous arms of Jaha. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH.
UGH. THIS GUY. I understand the show needs a wackadoo with a messiah complex in order for this storyline to work, but does he have to be so unlikable? Not only has he engaged in the most offensive practice of all (a half-goatee), he offered zero explanation as to why he kept Murphy locked in a bunker for three months. Murphy is a smart dude, and I sincerely hope he does NOT drink Jaha’s particular brand of douchey Kool-aid.
Back at Ark camp (now called Arkadia, because even the Arkers are so over Jaha), Lincoln’s abs were leading a fight class, when he was gifted a very special jacket.
Lincoln is still in the Grounder dog house, so he can’t go out and play.
Abby and Kane tried to talk over the sound of their screaming sexual tension about how they sent out search parties, but Clarke is so badass that she’ll only be found when she wants to be found. Then Kane got an e-vite party invitation and had to skedaddle outta there.
Bellamy was rounding up the Adventure Squad, when he hit a bit of a drunken snag.
One could argue that Jasper knew Maya for maybe a month, MAYBE, and that in this horrible post-apocalyptic horror show, one has to just suck it up and move on in order to survive. For example, Clarke had to stab Finn to death, and went about her business. BUT, then one could argue that Jasper’s reaction is 100% valid and that EVERYONE on this show should be having mental breakdowns, drinking their brain cells away, and smiling when someone is about to slit their throat, because life in this show is a never ending slideshow of nightmares. So… you do you, Jasper.
Anyway, then Bellamy kissed a girl, and I think I felt the ground quake with shipper outrage, and I am SO PUMPED to see how this unfolds. This is The 100, after all, so this chick is likely very awesome and kickass, and I am already intrigued by her alluring curls and obvious scavenge prowess. Unfortunately, any impression she left on me was overshadowed by the one-two punch of the appearance of the greatest gift The 100 has ever provided (Raven), and Miller’s sass.
Oh, and Octavia was on a horse. I LOVE EVERYTHING THAT IS CURRENTLY GOING ON.
The impromptu Adventure Squad sing-a-long was interrupted by a beacon from one of the Ark stations that fell from the sky in a fiery inferno. Naturally, everyone was on board for an Adventure Squad detour.
Meanwhile, Jaha shaved Murphy and gave him a haircut, which was kinda rude? Murphy didn’t say anything about it, but maybe he really liked his Castaway motif! Anyway, we learned that the “City of Lights” is basically a knock-off poor man’s Mind Palace. Right? You only go there in your head? Ugh. Jaha.
The Adventure Squad followed the beacon to the edge of the Ice Nation, and found some friendly border guards. Octavia tried to flash her Grounder passport, but then Jasper decided to step in.
The Adventure Squad had to shoot the Ice Nation border guards, but I’m sure that’s the last we’ll hear about that. It’s fine.
Then Bellamy and Monty got the same e-vite the Kane got, and look who sent it!
Indra! It’s Indra, you guys! Huzzah! She informed the Squad that Clarke is being hunted by all the people, ever, because I guess whoever kills her gets a thousand points in Mario Kart, or something. I couldn’t even worry about it, I was just too excited to see Indra’s intense, grumpy face!
Speaking of Clarke, she was busy being a jerk to animals.
She killed it like she’s some kind of forest warrior nymph, but I think the REAL thing we took away from this scene is that Clarke is now a redhead. HOW? Is she dying her hair with berries? Or blood? Or the same Kool aid that Jaha is serving? Anyway, she took it to a trading post, where she ran into some Grounders who were looking for her.
The trader lady straight-up lied to these fine gentleman in order to save Clarke. The dudes were all, “seems legit” and left, which gave Clarke a chance to get to know her host a little better, who, as it turns out, is a #TeamClarke groupie.
Clarke and this lady had some sexy time. Good for them! I was a bit concerned about Clarke’s gaping wound, but whatevs, you get yours, girl!
Back at Ark Camp, Octavia and Lincoln were having a dispute about their relationship expectations.
We’ve all been there.
Jaha tried to give the Beautiful Creepster what looked like a fancy mint so he could go to the City of Light Mind Palace himself. I think? I honestly tune out whenever Jaha talks. What made me tune back in was this delightful vision.
Emori!!! Emori is back, you guys! If you’ll recall, she has an awesome Ninja Turtle hand, and once flirted with our Beautiful Creepster by holding a large knife to his throat. Teens! Naturally, Murphy decided to join them to see where this flirtation is going.
On a more important note, we NEED to talk about Gideon.
I AM IN LOVE. He’s obviously a tad mutated from the radiation, but there’s so much more going on here. How did he become employed by a hologram? Why is this grown man wearing a backpack? What is IN said backpack? Why are his shoulders slumped like he has no self-confidence? I would watch an entire season of Gideon awkwardly showing us around his home, proudly displaying his finger paintings.
Anyway, then some ethereally gorgeous teen tried to steal something, and Raven was all, “sing for us, monkey”, and he did, and I thought, “wow! This kid should be a professional crooner,” then I looked him up, and he is already. So. Good work, team. Jasper, however, was not having it.
Jasper isn’t just going off the deep end, guys. He jumped already. He’s swimming around without his water wings. It’s hurting my heart.
Meanwhile, Bellamy and Co. found themselves in a pickle, trapped between two trees, and Clarke got nabbed while trying to attempt the ol’ no-talk-walk.
Okay, you guys, that was it. I will ask you again, HOW ARE YOU DOING? The 100 has graced our screens again, and suddenly the world in general seems like a better place? I don’t know. Colours are brighter, coffee tastes better, and there’s a growing warmth in my heart that can only be fueled by sassy, terror-filled teen violence.
This was a world-building episode. I know, I know, it’s only been three months, but this is The 100, and time never stops in this glorious haven of plot development. Change barrels forward, and we needed this episode to realign ourselves with this new regime. Wanheda Part 1 brought us into the changed world of The 100, introduced us to the new conflict brewing, and reminded us why we love these characters so much (hint: it’s the sass).
On a scale of 1 to MY HEART HAS EXPLODED WITH THE PUREST OF JOY, how happy are you that The 100 is back?
- The episode immediately solved the mystery that boggled my mind at the close of Season 2… where did the body go?? Well, two bro-dudes carried him away.
- “No kill marks.” – “My back’s not big enough.”
- I didn’t comment on the drama with Raven’s leg, and her throwing sass at Abby, because too much other important stuff was going on, but I do love how we’re still seeing the consequences of an injury sustained in Season 1.
- “You pushed Wick away…” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BUT WHY??? *stomps foot* *lays on ground and pounds it with fists* *throws up*
- Miller has a boyfriend? Yessssssssssssssss. I’m a little sad it’s not Monty, but hey, I’ll take it!
- Murphy thought about killing himself, and went so far as to put the gun under his chin. Being alone with yourself for three months (not knowing if you’ll ever get out) would be tough on anyone, but for a guy like Murphy, who has unspeakable guilt about all the stuff he’s done, would be literal torture. Of course he’s going to put a gun to his chin. I LOVED that he chose not to go through with it. Murphy is a dark character, but at the end of the day, he wants to live, which means he still has hope. I just really liked this whole sequence, okay?
- Clarke’s new lady friend has a bracelet from the Ark. WHAT DOES IT MEAN???
- Monty singing along to the Violent Femmes was so awkwardly adorable that for years to come, in times of despair, I will watch this moment to feel better. Monty just doesn’t seem like a Violent Femmes kind of guy, you know?
- Let’s say Anya DID come back as a zombie and teamed up with the Mountain King… what would the name of their pop-rock band be? Royally Grounded? Dante’s Reapferno? Anya’s Jacket?
Okay bye see youuuuuuuuuu!
[Originally Posted January 2016 on tv.com]