Ugh, don’t you guys just hate it when you magic a fire green, get so drunk you pass out, then travel across an ocean, all to give a present to someone, and they’re like, “thanks but no thanks.”
That’s what happened to our Adventure Squad, and I was so miffed for them! Of course, it had to go down that way, no? If it was easy, this show would be called, The 100 Bags Of Chips Just Delivered to Your Doorstep That You Didn’t Have To Go Out In The Cold To Buy. It would be a delicious show, but not a very exciting one.
Our Adventure Squad has faced bigger adversity than convincing someone to become one with a Matrix Bug. I’m sure next episode we’ll see them all having a big ol’ laugh about the whole mix-up, then someone will mention being able to play the guitar, and they’ll be singing Oasis around that green campfire in no time.
But the Adventure Squad’s party cruise wasn’t the only thing that went down this episode. In fact, a lot of stuff was sneakily very awesome. Indra cut up Pike! Kane was Jesus-ed and made to take the chip! Everyone got to take showers to film some flashbacks!
Seeing all those now-totally-so-very-dead faces was pretty cool. This would have been a great opportunity to bring back Thomas McDonell as Finn, but NEVER MIND, what’s done is done. Hey Monroe.
The episode began with a delightful walk down Polis Main Drive.
Just like a mischievous dog under the table at Thanksgiving dinner, The ALIE story line has snuck up on us and eaten all the other story lines. Ontari, who was a scary, violence-hungry tyrant hell bent on the destruction of Skikru, is now a puppet of ALIE. Pike, who was the stupidest of all the faces, now seems the lesser evil to everything going on in Polis. Even The Adventure Squad, off on their own, is connected because their mission contains the one thing that could stop her. Somehow all roads lead to ALIE. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN, you guys? Obviously the fall of Arkadia was a huge leap towards this, but it has been brewing all season and we were too distracted by blockades, child massacres, and Kane and Abby’s sexual tension to notice.
You got me, show. You got me.
Both Kane and Pike refused the Matrix Cracker, and gave each other that ol’ telltale look of, “oh boy”, which maybe means they’re best friends now.
The flashbacks this episode were essentially the plot to the 1995 classic Dangerous Minds, and I loved it. I loved seeing all their fresh little faces, not yet marred by horrific teen adventure. Fox! Monroe! The guy who tried to kill Bellamy when they were all high on nuts! That chick who was pinned to a tree with a spear! Good to see you all.
Back in the present, the Adventure Squad made it to the water, where Luna’s village was supposed to be.
Okay guys, I get that it was disappointing to not immediately find Luna’s party-town, but Octavia’s reaction made me laugh (as the kids say) out loud. That was a very melodramatic scream at the ocean, girl! Why? What’s Octavia’s big emotional investment in this? Finding “her people” whom she’s never met and has no relation to? Or finding someone who knew Lincoln to feel close to him? Or is she just super jazzed about the Adventure Squad mission? These are all good reasons to be bummed. I get it. But a howl into the wilderness? HAHAHAHAHHA… honestly.
Pike tried to rap with the kids about not doing drugs, and staying in school, and killing anything and anyone who may be different from you, and it was Michelle Pfeiffer at her finest.
In real time, Pike was dragged into a cell with our favourite Beautiful Creepster.
AND…
INDRA!! I’d been wondering where she scampered off to once she got the memo about a change in leadership. Turns out she was still ticked about Pike murdering her comrades in arms, so she pulled a spike out of the wall and started cutting him up. Man, the foreplay between these two is magic. #PindraForever
Meanwhile, at the Adventure Squad Beach Party…
Octavia was still mad at Bellamy for inadvertently getting her beefcake boyfriend killed, so he sulked off down the beach like a sad Charlie Brown. Then Jasper revealed he’s a wizard (I knew it), and turned the fire green. Game on, Adventure Squad!
Since ALIE doesn’t understand human emotions or anatomy, she believed Abby could suck words from Kane’s mouth.
He knew! Of course he knew. He had spent three seasons building a meticulously cultivated sexual tension with this woman. So, they nailed him to a cross (!) until he decided to behave.
That looked very uncomfortable.
Back at the beach party, Clarke was getting a heavy dose of Good Will Hunting from Bellamy.
It is a proven fact that no human being can resist the allure of a tough-guy crying. It is simply impossible. All of our ovaries exploded, and that is fact. Then Luna’s peeps Mission Impossibled up from the ocean and gave them some recreational drugs.
This scene was very important in that it saw the return of Jokey Jasper. His delivery of “what does it do?” and “oh crap”, were spot-on. Welcome back, Jokey Jasper! We missed you! Throw out that Adele CD pronto! Anyway, they all passed out in solidarity. Yay!
Back in Flashback Station, Pike was upset that the kids weren’t listening to his slam poetry.
I’m not sure if these flashbacks were supposed to endear us to Pike, but I sure hope not. Let’s be clear: Pike’s Stupid Face is the worst, and forever shall be. There is no redeeming this guy. He killed 300 people out of bigotry. He manipulated people’s hurt and fear. He murdered Lincoln for no other reason than to show his power. He deserves the slices of a thousand dices that Indra wants to give him.
Anyway, he beat up Murphy to prove that everyone has to help each other to survive… or something. Maybe he just wanted to beat up our Beautiful Creepster. You never know with this guy.
Yikes.
The Beautiful Creepster then put this lesson to use when he stopped Indra from Killing Pike.
Always the pragmatist, that Murphy!
In the final flashback, we saw all our fresh-faced delinquents being herded into the shuttle, a slicked-back Bellamy, and even an unconscious Clarke!
It was also fun to have an exchange between Abby and Kane to remind us that they started out as antagonists. The fade from that sexual-tension fraught scene into Kane’s torture was very well done, so high fives on that, show.
Because Jaha (as well as everyone who has eyes and a beating heart) knows that Kane and Abby share an epic love that spans ages, he threatened her life to get him to take the Matrix Cracker. He did, of course.
Not sure what this means for the Adventure Squad. Sure, Kane knows the location of their rad hero-lair, but no one hangs there anymore. The nerd geniuses are working away in Arkadia, and the Adventure Squad is in the middle of the ocean.
She straight-up turned them down! Haha, of course she did. Then the Squad chased her outside to find that they are on some sort of abandoned rig in the middle of the ocean. Now THAT is a pickle!
Well you guys, here we are. Only 3 more episodes left in season 3, and we’re hurtling towards our exciting conclusion. Do you think ALIE will still be a problem in season 4, or will our Adventure Squad shut her down like a melted Terminator giving the thumbs-up? Will they be able to get back all the people they’ve “lost” to the city of light? Do you think maybe ALIE’s chipped army will be so distracted by Kane and Abby’s sexual tension being constantly in their heads, that the whole army will implode?
I am, as always, very pumped for next week. It’s always fun when we get to see another aspect of this crazy-ass world, and now we get to see an abandoned oil rig! Huzzah! (Or do we? I don’t watch promos).
SOME STUFF
- the references during the flashbacks to Monty and Jasper’s friendship is yet another sign that we are headed towards one of their adorable high-fives.
- MORE MOUTH GAGS! This time Luna’s possy had them. How do they all look the same?? Do they wash them in between uses? How doesn’t everyone have mono???
- This show consistently chooses the perfect song to set a sad / creepy / anxiety-filled mood. The version of Radioactive used was haunting!
- Luna had some sort of drama with Lexa, right? That’s why she didn’t want her ‘spirit’ inside her?
- There were a lot of “Bellarke” moments this episode. I hope they’re not rushing into any sort of romance with these two. It would feel unearned this soon after their reunion, and it would cheapen what Clarke shared with Lexa. I’M SORRY SHIPPERS! Please don’t start researching where I live… in fact, I don’t live anywhere, okay? I exist inside your computer like Ghostwriter.
- On a scale of 1 to It’s Impossible To Quantify, how awesome do you think Monty and Raven are being right now? Did they solve all the world’s problems, and are just waiting for someone to check in with them? Is Harper watching Bryan and Miller make out? That’s not weird, YOU’RE WEIRD, SHUT UP.
[Originally Posted April 2016 on tv.com]
Toni Watches 
ORIGINAL POST COMMENTS:
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TakumiBorgens Dec 10, 2016
For some reason a lot of the photos aren’t loading for me on the more recent posts. It might just be my computer but could you check for me? I really love your recaps and I just realized I hadn’t quite finished the last season. Thanks so much!
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nickmoose May 09, 2016
I WANTED to see the patchouli stinking hippie chick fight the bitch faced poseur Commander! That would have been fun to see! The only problem is, now poseur Commander girl is ..well chipped, so when the hippie kicks her ass Billy Jack style, it won’t be like she is actually fighting HER she is fighting the chipped lizard person version! So that wouldn’t satisfy me as much!
But I guess it doesn’t matter, cuz hippie chick won’t fight anyway!! Sigh-Hippies. You know I dated a hippie once! She was beautiful! Save for the faux-dreadlocks. We actually agreed on a lot of things, but not the way to enact them. For example, while we would both hate Donald Trump, I would want to shoot him in the face, while she would want to throw flowers at him or something. And while I agree that not every conflict needs to be resolved with violence, I think this one clearly does.
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LibrariansAtTheGates May 07, 2016
Sooo…Kane and Abby…is cybersex now all that remains? Or is that not a thing in the Shitty o’ Lites? I wonder how many would’ve taken the biscuit had they known. (“Eat this tasty morsel and you will never feel pain again! “Allright!” “Nor pleasure. No nookie in the afterlight.” “Say whaaat?”) And was I the only one who had Cartman’s “How do I teach these keeeds?” running on a brain loop throughout Pike’s lessons on how to start forest fires (what would Smokey Bear say?!)? Anywho – thanks for the recap and the helpful tips on getting intel from unwilling prisoners (waterboarding is so 2003, now facesucking on the other hand…).
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Zsa08 May 02, 2016
Damnit, now I’ll have “Gangsta’s Paradise” stuck in my head all day long!
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Toni_watches May 02, 2016
You’re welcome.
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gwendogg May 01, 2016
Love your reviews!!! and yes I totally agree, I LOVE Bellarke and I totally agree with you! I hope they don’t rush anything because Clarke is still in love with Lexa and I would be a slap for everyone. But I do trust the writers to not do that 🙂
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peterspoor33 May 01, 2016
Poor Luna has a lot to live up to;
in charge of psychedelic dispensing frogmen warriors,
being on familiar terms and talked up off-screen by both Lexa and Lincoln!
She has to stroll into that container with authority, “No” was definitely her immediate go to, she can’t be all “Sounds fair after what you guys just swallowed, now hand over all your gluten filled foods and I got these guest sandals for you to wear while your here.”
Is ALLIE is responsible for the current lack of Arker and Grounder singer/musician solos.
Putting the kibosh on an immediate Bellarke ship? Are you crazy? Flying Monkeys have been deployed!
Hey, don’t ask me, I regularly wash all my mouth gags.
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Toni_watches May 01, 2016
Befriended the flying monkeys using interpretive dance and pumpkin pie.
Your move.
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nickmoose May 01, 2016
I LOVED the scene in this one where lil’ cutie pie, butterfly luvin’ version of Octavia from the pilot episode came into the classroom and she was all nervous and shy and Jasper was like, “That’s that girl from the dance!!”
I still think a Jasptavia romance could happen someday.
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mart83 May 03, 2016
From Lincoln to Jasper…I know there’s not a lot of people left in The 100’s world but c’mon! I don’t think he had a shot even before she became badass sword weaving Okteivia kom Skaikru. As much as I enjoy guys like Jasper getting the girl, it’s not The Big Bang Theory.
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nickmoose May 01, 2016
“It is a proven fact that no lady can resist the allure of a tough guy crying.” – Well, Toni Watches you are in LUCK!! Because I cry CONSTANTLY! And often times, it’s over CW shows!! ( For example I cried over the Originals and Arrow in the last two weeks) But how do you know that I am tough, you may be asking? Ahhh! That is an EASY ONE! I am tough because I am willing to ADMIT that I shed tears over CW shows!! That takes balls!
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MichelleHood24 May 01, 2016
And yes your right this show along with teen wolf has exceptional choices in music they always get it right i love the first version of radioactive from the pilot but this version was amazing it came in second on my the 100 fav song list 1st place will always be knocking on heavens door by raign used in the season 2 final scene.
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MichelleHood24 May 01, 2016
I really enjoyed this episode. I didn’t enjoy seeing Kane NAILED THROUGH THE WRISTS ONTO A CROSS but I enjoy every thing else. I loved the flashbacks and how they used the same but not the same song to round everything back to the pilot I really love stupid song. It was nice to see just how much our key characters have fundamentally changed, take murphy and Octavia, Murphy’s still an ass hat but also for some reason is now the voice of reason which wow, Octavia is no longer this shy sheltered girl she’s now this damaged and hardened woman, that is what six months of living on the edge of fear and war does to you. It was also nice to have a timeline for the series we know know 6 months have passed. How cool was it to have a brand new tribe of grounder and location that oil rig was very cool. I’m thinking that they can’t convince Luna to take the flame and they have to find a way to recreate the night blood into Clarke and she take the AI which would be great. When I first saw pikes face being led into polis I got so excited and then I saw how it had changed and I just new he wasn’t going to die, but then Indra stated slicing him up and I actually cheered and was yelling at the to like a crazy person YESSSSS CUT HIM CUT HIM GUT HIM LIKE FISH…….. But again stupid murphy had to be the voice of reason and make sence and my hope for his death was put on pause 😭 Clarke and bellemy had a really nice moment together and it really just showcased how broken they both are both have more blood on their hands then anyone in the entire cast kids and adults included they need each other to bounce off of and also to not judge and provide each other with the forgiveness and understanding that they know will never came from others or them-selfs. I can’t wait until next episode it going to good.
MORE+
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cathemeral Apr 30, 2016
What a great episode and a great recap.
The flashbacks to the Ark made me long for the halcyon days of season one where the kids were busy goofing around in the woods, sewing merit badges to their Earth Skills vests, chowing down on CGI BBQ, running from acid fog, the multiple neck stabbings, etc.
Anyone else envisioning a bizarre love triangle involving Indra, Kane, and Pike? Sort of like TVD but with space brothers, not brother-brothers, and no hokey Indra doggleganger shenanigans.
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peterspoor33 May 01, 2016
It’s safe to say convoluted and strange fantasies involving the cast and world of the 100 is reaching it’s peak. Oh yeah… you know what I’m talking about Farm Station. HeeeHaaaaww!
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megkatselis Apr 30, 2016
Deceit and motor oil! Bawhahaha
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N4rell3 Apr 30, 2016
“But a howl into the wilderness? HAHAHAHAHHA… honestly.”
I know right!?! From the girl who brought us the magnificently intense “I will end you” glare after Pike killed Lincoln, this seemed a little OTT. I am loving the adventure squad back together though and your recap as always makes the show that much better. Thx Toni
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nickmoose Apr 30, 2016
Has it ever been revealed what Harper did to get thrown into teen jail?
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cathemeral Apr 30, 2016
She committed the crime of being Too Pretty.
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nickmoose May 01, 2016
Which makes me wonder why Jasper ever even called her “Low Hanging Fruit”! I mean, obviously she is a pretty girl, so was the comment supposed to mean that she is too “friendly”? Was that why Murphy made the joke about if she was “offering” when they were in Pike’s Dangerous Minds class?
And if the lovely Harper is sex obsessed, then I am hoping her crime was some kind of awesome act of perversion!
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dazednconfuuzed Apr 30, 2016
Good recap, as always 🙂
So I’ve been wondering right along whether Clarke would find some way to take the AI and become the next commander.. Someone commented (on the other review for this episode) that when Clarke was in the Flame Keeper’s Chamber or whatever it’s called that she at some point encountered syringes or vials containing the night blood serum… I never noticed this. Did anyone else ever notice this detail?? That would be a game-changer, and I’d be very psyched to find out more nightbloods could be created. But who knows, perhaps this Luna will come around and become the next commander, especially once they explain the dire circumstances with ALLI…
The fb’s were fine, but I still don’t feel an ounce of sympathy for Pike.
This episode seemed to drag a little bit, something I never feel about The 100, but I still enjoyed it.
I knew Kane was gunna end up chipped as soon as it was clear he was headed for Polis, but I did not anticipate him being crucified! Yikes..
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Loralee_jk Apr 30, 2016
I ship Bellarke so hard. But i’m ok with waiting. I loved them In S1 but we al knew they weren’t ready for each other yet. Now they are very close. I’m on with waiting until next season. We all know them as a couple is the end game, so they need a strong foundation.
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Loralee_jk Apr 29, 2016
Some people are pissed about the crucification representation in this episode. I’m a devout Christian and I was not insulted by this. Besides they made the effort to make clear differences. An X instead of a cross. Also MILLIONS of people were crucified at the cross, besides Jesus. Jesus was crucified with 2 other people! Over 6,000 slaves (Spartacus’ army) were crucified on Appian Way for 120 miles.
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mart83 May 03, 2016
It’s really easy to insult people nowadays. Probably that’s why they were ”exified” and still, some people are pissed off. Can’t win.
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Charissa29 Apr 29, 2016
Loved jokey Jasper! I wonder if the reason we hate watching him mourn Maya, aside from the fact he only knew her for two weeks, is that he is good at it. It feels like real mourning and who wants to see that?
Clarke can do many things! Many, many,many things, but falling in love with 3 people in less than 6 months is not possible, even for her. Finn and Lexa are plenty for now!
wonderful recap, as always, but there should have been more talk about squashing Jaha so he never rises again!
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beemerw21 Apr 29, 2016
Ok we need to EMP everyone’s brains, PRONTO! OH and shock Jaha just for the hell of it afterwards, because this is all his fault!!!
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mellafe Apr 29, 2016
I hadn’t laughed this hard in ages, thank heavens my boss was out!!
MY question is where in the freaking hell is Alie stocking all those chips? Where does she get them from? Are they even real? WHAT DO THEY TASTE LIKE? That’s what I want to know.
I was so sure they were going to kill Kane that at one point I had to stop the episode and go take a walk, then consider if I would keep watching the show if he was gone. It took me a while to come back and finish the episode. Why do I feel so deeply for these characters?? (Except Jaha, he’s the worst! *insert John Oliver gif here*).
(Is it weird that in the flashbacks I was looking for that guy -the cute extra- you mention in your first recaps? Cause I totally was).
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TellyMelly May 04, 2016
That weird backpack that Jaha brought back with him from ALIE’s mansion, that’s what makes the chips (I think?)
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mellafe May 04, 2016
Oh, you’re right! I completely forgot about the backpack.
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Toni_watches Apr 29, 2016
Tim Bartlet. Me too, girl. ME. TOO.
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Felicity100 Apr 29, 2016
Thank you for one more awesome recap! I love it!
Did you notice Jasper saying “See you on the other side”? It looks like he isn’t over Adele yet.
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Toni_watches Apr 29, 2016
Bah! haha, didn’t put that together. #JasperLovesAdele
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interesting fact-henry ian cusick who plays kane played Jesus in a movie called the gospel of john
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