Welp. Close, but no cigar.
Is anyone else shamefully delighted about how totally effed our Adventure Squad is right now? Things are looking DIRE, and let’s be honest, that’s just how we like our things to be. Let’s think back to season 2 when Clarke stood in front of the mountain all alone. Or in season 1 when all the Adventure Squad had was a teen shanty against an army of Grounders. And that turned out… well, really quite horrible in both instances… BUT AWESOME, right??
It really did seem like all the pieces of the plan were fitting into place, didn’t it? Monty and Harper did sex together, Raven was hacking ALIE, Luna was going to become one with the Matrix Bug, The Beautiful Creepster was going to destroy the backpack… and then it all went to shit. Man, I love it when that happens. This show just does it so well!!
As Bellamy so eloquently put it, what now? Every aspect of their plan went horribly wrong. Just epically bad. Total disaster. Complete failure. What a charming romp! I seriously had so much fun watching everything fall apart, because I know this show is going to come up with something mind-blowingly spectacular to save the day and/or completely blow shit up. It’s impossible to know! You think this show is going to zig, and instead it performs River Dance and throws a root beer float in your face. And that’s why we love it. Well, that and the hugs. And the mutant gorilla. And the horrific teen violence. And the quips. And Kane and Abby’s sexual tension. And the… you know what? I could go on all day. I should probably just photo recap.
Then #Pindra flared up, as they are wont to do.
The Beautiful Creepster decided to tag along on Pike and Indra’s date to go find Jaha’s backpack. Ohhhh…. Maybe it’ll be one of those secret picnic backpacks, where you open it and there’s wine and cheese and burgers and laffy taffy.
Meanwhile in the City of Light, everyone was enjoying the comforts, fashion, and probably artisan lattes of our present day.
Seriously, what are people doing in the City of Light? Do they have jobs? Is there a City of Light mail service? Are there City of Light cops, or street-meat vendors? It looks like a very chill, peaceful place, but boring as all heck. DO NOT sign me up!
OF COURSE there’s a beat poetry night. Of course there is. Anyway, the Squad tried to convince Luna to become one with the Matrix Bug.
No dice! This girl is NOT into the idea of leaving her oil rig commune.
Raven got all Jonny Lee Miller circa 1995 (talkin’ about Hackers, people), and was typing VERY quickly, and was all gung-ho about shutting ALIE down herself. Monty talked her off the ledge, then got a very steamy proposition.
I have no idea where this came from, and I DO NOT care. It’s about time Monty got some, and to have it be with someone as awesome as Harper? Yes please! Was it necessarily earned through the narrative? Not really. There was zero build-up to this. BUT, sometimes life doesn’t have build-up. Sometimes one awesome teen just wants to sex up another awesome teen. Get it, girl!
Speaking of teen romance, Jasper headed into Flirtville with the beat poet.
Buuuuuut, romance time was over, so Raven busted up Monty and Harper’s cuddle sesh.
In one of their more terrible decisions, the Adventure Squad thought it was totally cool to force the Matrix Bug into Luna without her consent. (CONSENT IS VERY IMPORTANT IN ALL SITUATIONS, FRIENDS!)
BOOM! It was far fetched to imagine Luna, a Grounder and a Nightblood, wouldn’t be totally kickass, but it was still a little startling to see her OWN Clarke so hard. “I didn’t flee the conclave because I thought I would lose, I fled because I knew I would win.” Dammmnnnnn you guys.
Hahahaha… peace. On The 100. Truly laughable.
Anyway, then the chipped captain of the barge turned coat and locked our Adventure Squad in a shipping container and attacked Luna.
Then the beat-poet was shot!
The chipped d-bags WATER BOARDED LUNA! Dudes, this was super hard to watch. Girl was just chilling out on her oil rig, sipping some green-ginger tea and doing some hot yoga, when these butt-holes show up and throw a rag over her face to simulate DROWNING. Yikes. Then her misguided boyfriend took the Matrix cracker in order to save her. *sigh* That’s how they getcha.
Raven, meanwhile, was still at it, typing AT LEAST 80 words per minute. If all else fails, this girl has a job as a court recorder, no problem. Anyway, she decided to go ahead and land a death blow to ALIE, the plan be damned. Buuuuuuuut, Jaha had a despicable ace up his sleeve.
He deleted her! Remember how we all assumed Monty was staying behind to sabotage the destruction of ALIE so he could save his Mom? Well we should BE ASHAMED OF OURSELVES. That boy did not hesitate to get rid of her. You know why? Because within Monty Green beats the lion heart of a true hero!
Raven was about to pull the plug, buuuuuutttttt…
FAIL! ALIE pulled herself out just in time. (The one time in history the pulling out method has worked – BOOYEAH)
Pike and Indra’s romantic evening ended up as a double date with the Beautiful Creepster and Emori. ALIE’s backpack was ripe for the destroying. The only problem was the nuclear whatsit that would kill everyone if was hit, because of course.
I honestly enjoy the whole ‘coach on the sidelines’ approach ALIE has as her existence. She can’t do anything but stand there and give monotone encouragements as her little league team tries their best to impress her.
The Beautiful Creepster couldn’t smash the backpack if it meant erasing Emori’s mind (aww), so Pike’s Stupid Face did it. Alas, too little too late. They had used the escape pod to hook ALIE up IN SPACE!
Back at the ol’ oil rig, Luna kick-assed her way out of torture, and accidentally killed her boyfriend.
She drugged them, anddid NOT take the flame! Girl is really set in her ways.
DELIGHTFUL! What a hopeless situation! ALIE is basically unstoppable, they don’t have access to her at all, and they’ve pissed off the one person who could help them. Haha, oh Adventure Squad. The pickles you get yourselves into!
Now, I would be remiss if I didn’t talk a bit about Pike’s Stupid Face becoming someone we’re cheering for. The old adage “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” has always worked out for us on this show because it brought us Anya, Lexa, Indra, a look into Polis and all sorts of awesomeness. It even brought us a brief alliance with the creepiest man born of woman, the Mountain King. We loved it because these characters were fierce, kickass and complex. Unlikely partnerships are my jam, you guys. Which is why this whole Pike’s Stupid Face thing has me so conflicted! On the one hand, he’s an unredeemable garbage human being. On the other, it’s interesting to see the dynamic of our heroes allying, out of necessity, with someone we don’t like.
Anyway, all of this, even the addition of Pike’s Stupid Face into our hero roster, has me very, very excited for next week.
SOME STUFF
- How does ALIE know that my late boyfriend Sinclair is dead??? No one on the Adventure B-Squad is chipped, because then ALIE would have known what they were doing from the get-go. So how?? HUH?? HOW????
- I would like to clarify again that I think Michael Beach is very handsome, and probably a really cool dude. When I refer to his character as “Pike’s Stupid Face”, I’m pointing out his METAPHORICAL stupid face, because his real-life face is quite nice to look at.
- This episode was co-written by Kira Snyder and Lauren Muir, who happens to be making her professional TV writing debut (if I’m not mistaken). Well done, ladies! High fives, all round.
- “Emori, you know you can correct your defects here.” – “I would, if I had any.” I love that girl and her ninja turtle hand.
- Remember Wick? *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* I wonder if he’s in the City of Light. I wonder if he’s been scrounging for parts for a month. I wonder if his shirt is on.
- Monty’s little “oh my God” when Harper was leading him away for sexy times might be the most adorable this show has ever been.
- When was the last time you were forced to do a burpee? *shudder*
[Originally Posted May 2016 on tv.com]
Toni Watches 
ORIGINAL POST COMMENTS:
TellyMelly May 10, 2016
Where your inspiration comes from, i will never know. But each week it pours forth from your fingers to make our world better.
Don’t EVER stop recapping The 100 🙂
Though i wish you would recap ALL shows 😛
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MamaVanC May 09, 2016
Regarding ALIE’s knowledge of Sinclair’s demise (RIP), I wonder if Emerson was compromised in some way before dying – sine he was the one who actually killed Sinclair. On the other hand, as much as I would like Harper’s decisions to do the nasty with Monty to be based on genuine sexual/emotional attraction, it would make sense if she were chipped, both in terms of ALIE’s Sinclair knowledge, and the fact we saw no lead-up to her interest in Monty.
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H2gold May 08, 2016
I always ‘heart’ your reviews before I read them because it just makes me so happy to see it up.
ALIE knows about Sinclair=One of the adventure squad is chipped. She was still in shot when Derek died, which could have been poor editing. Plus basic trope of not telling Jaha how she knew points to a potential surprise reveal ahead!
I think it’s Jasper. His reaction to the girl being brought in and again when rescued was just a bit off and muted. If anyone had been chipped earlier then ALIE would have knowledge of what was going on in Arkadia and wouldn’t have been blindsided by Raven’s hacking.
I’m hoping I’m as wrong on this as I was that Monty would take key, ’cause I’ve missed the Jokey Jasper and it was great to see him again.
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TakumiBorgens May 13, 2016
Having watched the next episode, I have to say congratulations on being correct even though it slowly smashed my heart to bits.
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H2gold May 14, 2016
Me too because heart on his sleeve wearing Jasper was my go to fav from day one. At least the reason was just about believable enough and he did get the best lines this week…”death by Clarke” indeed. Still he better be standing by the end of the finale…he’ll be fine, right? He survived a spear to the chest , he’ll be ok…am I right…please tell me I’m right!!
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Toni_watches May 08, 2016
It’s a good theory, but when ALIE was trying to chip Luna, she said “that one is being an a-hole, put a chip in him, stat.” (paraphrasing) She wouldn’t order someone to be chipped if they already were, right?
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H2gold May 08, 2016
I agree but that’s when I think it happened. I hope not and can’t really see why Jasper would allow it to happen after everything he has gone through. I just thought his demeanour changed from vocal and struggling to passive. Plus those in the room lost interest in him very quickly (admittedly other events were taking place).
Anyway and more importantly, irrespective of my theory, I’m just embarrassingly thrilled you responded to it because I love your reviews.
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KendraNutt May 09, 2016
I think Raven is still connected to ALIE. While Monty could only see the code, Raven could see the City of Light. While ALIE can’t access all information with Raven and vise versa, I think they can still sense each other’s presence and emotions.
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Toni_watches May 08, 2016
Well shiiiiiiiiiit….. you may be right!
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spudchick May 08, 2016
“– Do we think perhaps Luna was pregnant when she fled the conclave? And that kid is HER kid, and is ALSO a Nightblood? Just spitballin’. (How old is Luna?)”
Yes, that was absolutely my thought. Was very surprised that Clark et. al. ended up leaving the rig without that playing out. That little actress looked like more than an extra.
A delight as always. Toni 🙂
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nickmoose May 07, 2016
Seriously, every time they say the name Luna I think about the cat from Sailor Moon.
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walter_ec May 10, 2016
Luna means moon in spanish.
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nickmoose May 07, 2016
Yeah, I gotta admit I LIKE Pike now! I find myself hoping this experience helps him to understand that not all Grounders are bad and going steady with Indra! This Heel/face turn with him is one of the more impressive feats this show has accomplished!
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nickmoose May 07, 2016
The whole Harper fucking Monty thing comes even more out of nowhere when you consider that up until like a week ago she was pissed at him for allying with Pike. Maybe Harper really IS kind of a slut!! Well, whatever. She’s still a cutie! And Monty needed him some sex, so I’m all for this particular non sequitur!
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Robespierre May 09, 2016
Or she’s chipped 😦
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SammyMoynihan May 07, 2016
Waaahhh!! I was really hoping for Miller and Monty! Hopefully Harper will die next week and there will still be hope. Also, Raven and Luna would be great. Kthxbi
I don’t think I could ever like Pike. I couldn’t handle it if he becomes a series regular or good guy. He’s a great Big Bad but only for the season. He needs to die in the finale. Also, I had a dream last night where Bellamy died in the finale! Once I dreamt that I went to Scotland and woke up wearing a kilt so my dreams are real and I’m really freaking out! xoxo
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techgirl67 May 06, 2016
I would love to watch a reaction video of you watching The 100! Also I have run out of ways to tell you how much I enjoy these recaps, so I’ll just say thank you for the belly laughs I experienced today while reading this. I will be sad when season 3 ends partly because I won’t get to read these recaps.
PS Burpees suck.
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ArkhamNative May 06, 2016
“Remember how we all assumed Monty was staying behind to sabotage the destruction of ALIE so he could save his Mom? Well we should BE ASHAMED OF OURSELVES.”
This was me. I bow deeply, dogeza-style, to Monty. I am so deeply ashamed.
And, yes, we are in the most hopeless situation! So close to the end of the season! I love this show. 🙂
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Janearoha May 06, 2016
No shops in the city of light. No shops?!!! And the clothes???!!!! Not being as tough as Raven I would probably have accepted the forgetting everyone I love bit, but put me in that green coat Emori had on? I would have been out of there so fast.
Feel like Monty/Harper would have worked better if they’d been chilling together taking a coffee break, having an actual conversation, involved in a leisure activity… but Monty does deserve happiness. Always. So Harper’s dying next week, right?
what the hell berries did Clarke use to die that horrible pink piece of hair – it just won’t go! Luna’s hair on the other hand was fabulous although I worried for the actress trying to comb it out after.
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Klaussays May 06, 2016
Harper got some…Which means she will die or is chipped…Then will die. (Harpy was vaguely built in the mountain if you care to check the episodes starting from when Harper gets her Marrow taken).
Loved ALIE appearing on Luna’s boat all like ‘Hey guys, wud up”
Emori’s Jacket! Hannah in a sweater vest and flower skirt !!!!!!!
On a serious note..Luna made it seem like she didn’t fight Lexa for some important reason..She killed her own brother but didn’t kill Lexa…Why? Relation, Pregnancy arrrggh…and i bet she won’t be back until season 4.
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KendraNutt May 06, 2016
It doesn’t feel right to call Indra, Murphy, and Pike an Adventure Squad, so I propose we now refer to them as The Misfits, or the MOD Squad. Just a thought, just throwing it out there.
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VictoriaWoodhull May 06, 2016
Burpees! Thank you for another great photo recap.
Clearly Raven and Harper shared their flat iron and Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Hair serum with Clarke. Maybe if they shared it with Luna as well, she would have been a more willing participant and allowed herself to be ALIE 2.0-ed.
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peterspoor33 May 06, 2016
A sci-fi world where your lifestyle choices are either an oil rig of Beatniks or a virtual City of Light with sensible fashion wear? I guess we are all-go with a greenlight Daddy-O!
“So as I was saying [stirs Latte] I don’t think ALIE has all the answers to human happiness …ugh,.. she’s standing behind me isn’t she?”
Namaste 🙂
I’ll miss Maya 2.0
Never mind all the nightblood kung fu, Luna’s major skill is getting anyone and everyone relaxed to drink her psychadelic drugs… twice!
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Charissa29 May 06, 2016
Pindra! Heh! Love it! I am loving the Michael Beach of it all, and want Pike go stick around. Yes, his character as written was tissue paper thin, but I bet Beachy could really make him interesting given the chance.
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Klaussays May 06, 2016
Think they made Pike like that on purpose…The way they introduced Luna, was like the other side of the spectrum…Lexa was probably the closest to the middle…Everyone still hates Pike and im glad they are not sympathizing him…But he is becoming interesting…Especially next week if he returns to Arkadia.
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mellafe May 06, 2016
I don’t know what a “laffy taffy” is but I want some.
Toni, this recap was all sort of funny and spot on. I salute you and your witty brain.
I’m conflicted as well about Pindra. I remember when they first met, there were sparks! And Indra was so happy, we saw her smile at Kane, she’s such a nice gal. I don’t know. I don’t like Pike AT ALL but I don’t hate him. My hate is saved for Jaha and Jaha alone (and his half-goatee, of course). So I don’t know. Indra won’t forgive Pike, though. Damnit.
I’m super happy about Harpy, that scene was the definition of CUTE.
Oh, about CoL being boring as hell, it got me thinking about the rig… what do they do on the rig? Honestly. They were lounging, having open-mic night, making nets to fish… and that’s it. WHAT DO THEY DO? Do they have books? I’m kinda concerned for their mental well-being, I’d go nuts being ‘trapped’ on that thing with the same people all the freaking time.
(Lastly, someone told me the actor who played Wick got fired because he was a horrible human being. I’m super sad about this because I’ve missed Wick so, so much and now I understand why he’s not on the show and why he won’t come back. sadface.com)
MORE+
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Toni_watches May 07, 2016
Improve your life with this:
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mellafe May 09, 2016
They look delicious.
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Robespierre May 06, 2016
“You think this show is going to zig, and instead it performs a River Dance and throws a root beer float in your face. And that’s why we love it.”
So true!!! 🙂
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Robespierre May 06, 2016
That poem was hilarious btw 😀
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