GAAAAAAAAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA WHAT???
That was positively bonkers, and I am both in shock and in love. I’m in shock-love? Love-shock? I am not trying to make sexual innuendos, you guys, they just happen.
What the shit just happened??? I tell you what – THE 100 happened! Man, this show does not like it when things are going well for our Adventure Squad. It’s like the spiteful Gods watching from on high, or like, the writers’ room, cross their arms and shake their heads when things start to go okay, being all, “sorry, but no.”
Hey friends, remember that time a total dreamy Grounder BLEW UP THE ARK??? Hahahahha I can’t get over it. I’ve also had a lot of coffee and it’s very late and my dinner was mints, so bear with me. This episode was a total shit-storm, but NOT in the way we all thought it would be. BECAUSE OF COURSE!! When has this show ever done something predictable? The 100 doesn’t just set up the dominoes and knock them down, this show LIGHTS THEM ON FIRE.
So. I liked this episode, if you can’t tell. That being said, it did threaten the life of my dear precious Raven, which we will talk about later IF I AM UP TO IT. *sigh* Please, don’t you dare, show.
ANYWAY, this glorious disaster romp began on ALIE Island with Raven, Jackson and Abby being total nerds.
This relationship is basically like those awkward lab partners who were placed together because they were only two left, and Abby is the cool senior and Jackson is the shy, genius freshman who idolizes her, but also sort of suspects she’s a bit of an idiot so he does all the work and WAIT- did I just write a teen rom-com??
Then Raven started to fly. I’m going to level with you guys- as soon as this started happening, I was like, “yup, completely with you, I buy it.” Because if anyone on this show is going to spontaneously develop an ability to fly, it’s going to be Raven. Anyway, it turned out to be a fever-dream-genius-seizure type deal because I guess she forgot to think of a wonderful thought.
I am displeased by this. DISPLEASED. Moving on – Octavia and her horse were starting to get very tired of their road trip.
I’ve said it at least twice, and I’ll say it at least twice more – I wish real-life horses acted like cartoon horses. Cartoon horses are just so SASSY. Anyway, then Octavia passed out after beholding the dreaminess that is Ilian. Don’t feel bad, girl, it would have happened to literally everyone.
It’s Niylah you guys! It’s honestly astonishing any time a side-character lives an entire season, so I was very happy to see her this episode! Alas, her cute catch-up with our heroine was cut short when a suspiciously attractive grounder carried in our darling Octavia.
Octavia warned them that the Ice Capades were coming to town and everyone snapped into action to either stop them and / or save Octavia.
I’m sure he’ll be fine.
Clarke and Monty came up with a plan to stop the attack, but of course, they needed the okay from the only person everyone in the universe trusts.
Oh Riley. What would they do without him?
Clarke is very thirsty for friends right now. Also, is it just me, or does Roan get this “way to go, kid” look on his face every time Clarke defies him and / or commits acts of horrible violence? I’m getting a strong big-brother-little-sister vibe from these two and I am ABOUT IT.
Ohhhh man! Echo was so peeved about being left behind! Also peeved was our favourite character Riley, who had the notion to kill the Ice King out of vengeance for something he wasn’t responsible for, despite it being a terrible idea that would get all his friends killed.
I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but maaaaaaybe Riley isn’t the gallant hero we all thought he was? But then Riley saw sense and didn’t do anything else totally stupid. Whew!
Of course this scenario got Bellamy noodling on the whole ‘Octavia is dead’ situation.
The relieved / hopeful expression on his face was heart-wrenching and maybe Bob Morley should stop being such a good actor because this is too much (never stop).
Octavia woke up and Niylah was all, “some super dreamy dude saved your life.” And Octavia was like, “that little rascal!”
Haha, Ilian was SO CHILL during all of this. He was just casually giving himself a tour, gathering explosive supplies, and following wires, like it was no big deal. Love this kid.
Raven’s brain IS magic!! Abby started this scene like one of those people who go to a magic show all, “this is stupid,” and by the show’s finale they have bought a magic-starter-kit online and wait at the stage door for an autograph from the rabbit. Oh, and also A ROCKET SHIP, YOU GUYS! Get ready to traverse the galaxy on intergalactic trips to Pigfarts.
Back in their ‘no adults allowed’ tree-fort, Roan and Clarke were discussing some things.
They decided that they were going duct-tape a giant line down the ark, and Roan will stay on his side, and Clarke will stay on hers, and even though Roan has the bathroom, it’s totally cool because Clarke has the TV, and they’ll figure out the bunk-beds later. Oh, and they did a “blood brothers” thing that looked very uncomfortable.
Monty noticed that a certain little gremlin had scampered off to start a devastating war, so he did what any TRUE hero does.
He gave everyone the skinny on what good ol’ Riles was up to, and everyone was all, “nuh uh, not Riley, he wouldn’t do that, no way.”
So off Bellamy and Echo went to stop his BFF from sparking an all-out bloodbath. What zany antics these guys get into!
Back at ALIE Island, the nerds figured out what was making Raven’s brain magic.
This was tough, and may I say, DON’T YOU DARE, SHOW. Our precious, glorious, kick-ass, awesome Goddess Raven is being slowly murdered by her magic brain, and she’s being a total champ about it, and I am UPSET. Also upsetting to note is that Abby and Raven have been a team since episode 2 of season 1, which means they’ve been through so much, so many ups and downs, hopes and losses, and this is UPSETTING!!
Meanwhile, Bellamy and Echo had a fun chat about how war is the worst (FACT) and how it makes everyone jerks (FACT), then they found Bellamy’s BFF.
Bellamy got Riley to stop trying to murder everyone through a very inspirational speech about not being jerks during war. Way to go, dudes!
Back in Ark Camp, Octavia and Niylah (why do I love Niylah so much, you guys???) found Ilian in the server room, about to light shit up.
MAN OH MAN! This was unexpected! Ilian, you sexy pyro!!
Everyone arrived back at the Ark in time to watch it burn to the ground, and what followed was an amazing montage of devastated, unbelieving, horror-filled, stricken faces. The best, though, were these two clowns:
Echo and Roan stole this episode with all their sassy annoyed looks to one another. You two stop being so saucy! (never stop)
Bellamy’s reunion with Octavia was pretty great, but then was eclipsed by this:
CLARKE AND OCTAVIA WERE HOLDING HANDS THESE TWO HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AND THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND LADY-FRIENDSHIP AND OH MY HEART.
Then we cut to Abby hallucinating her daughter, and it did not go well.
Abby’s brain is broken, too!! Love this show.
WELP! There goes that back-up plan. I honestly loved this development so much. For 5 episodes our dutiful Adventure Squad toiled and worked away at a possible solution from certain death, and for a millisecond everything seemed to be okay, but then NOPE. What an absolute delight.
How are you guys feeling? Devastated for our poor Arkers? Giddily excited to find out what the eff is going to happen to the surrogate-sibling’s truce? Worried for Raven (obviously)? Mad at Riley? Wildly curious about his FREAKING DEAL?? Did you miss Jasper’s snark or Murphy’s ‘tude? Are you curious where everyone is going to go to the bathroom now? All of the above?
You guys, it’s a whole new ball game and I am so damn pumped for the next episode.
- What do we think would have happened if Octavia hadn’t made it in time to warn them? Would Roan have slaughtered everyone? Would he have come up with an excuse NOT to kill his surrogate little-sister, like “oops, my shoe is untied, better turn back.”
- Niylah got Clarke to SMILE!!!! This is huge.
- Octavia loves getting injured and /or poisoned, falling unconscious and hazily awaking to a dreamy grounder helping her. I don’t blame her, it seems like a fun pastime.
- What do you think Raven’s happy thought was? Being awesome? Ice cream? A shirtless Wick scrounging for parts?
- Was anyone inside the Ark when Ilian unceremoniously blew it up without warning? He’s not a mass murderer, right? I mean, he DID save Octavia and Niylah from burning to death, so… redeemed?
- What logic vs. emotions battle have you had lately? All of mine involve snacks, obviously.
- Is anyone else weirdly in the mood for spider-dogs and s’mores, or is that super insensitive?
Okay bye, until next time!
[Originally Posted March 2017 on tv.com]