GAAAAAAAAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA WHAT???
That was positively bonkers, and I am both in shock and in love. I’m in shock-love? Love-shock? I am not trying to make sexual innuendos, you guys, they just happen.
What the shit just happened??? I tell you what – THE 100 happened! Man, this show does not like it when things are going well for our Adventure Squad. It’s like the spiteful Gods watching from on high, or like, the writers’ room, cross their arms and shake their heads when things start to go okay, being all, “sorry, but no.”
Hey friends, remember that time a total dreamy Grounder BLEW UP THE ARK??? Hahahahha I can’t get over it. I’ve also had a lot of coffee and it’s very late and my dinner was mints, so bear with me. This episode was a total shit-storm, but NOT in the way we all thought it would be. BECAUSE OF COURSE!! When has this show ever done something predictable? The 100 doesn’t just set up the dominoes and knock them down, this show LIGHTS THEM ON FIRE.
So. I liked this episode, if you can’t tell. That being said, it did threaten the life of my dear precious Raven, which we will talk about later IF I AM UP TO IT. *sigh* Please, don’t you dare, show.
ANYWAY, this glorious disaster romp began on ALIE Island with Raven, Jackson and Abby being total nerds.
This relationship is basically like those awkward lab partners who were placed together because they were only two left, and Abby is the cool senior and Jackson is the shy, genius freshman who idolizes her, but also sort of suspects she’s a bit of an idiot so he does all the work and WAIT- did I just write a teen rom-com??
Then Raven started to fly. I’m going to level with you guys- as soon as this started happening, I was like, “yup, completely with you, I buy it.” Because if anyone on this show is going to spontaneously develop an ability to fly, it’s going to be Raven. Anyway, it turned out to be a fever-dream-genius-seizure type deal because I guess she forgot to think of a wonderful thought.
I am displeased by this. DISPLEASED. Moving on – Octavia and her horse were starting to get very tired of their road trip.
I’ve said it at least twice, and I’ll say it at least twice more – I wish real-life horses acted like cartoon horses. Cartoon horses are just so SASSY. Anyway, then Octavia passed out after beholding the dreaminess that is Ilian. Don’t feel bad, girl, it would have happened to literally everyone.
It’s Niylah you guys! It’s honestly astonishing any time a side-character lives an entire season, so I was very happy to see her this episode! Alas, her cute catch-up with our heroine was cut short when a suspiciously attractive grounder carried in our darling Octavia.
Octavia warned them that the Ice Capades were coming to town and everyone snapped into action to either stop them and / or save Octavia.
I’m sure he’ll be fine.
Clarke and Monty came up with a plan to stop the attack, but of course, they needed the okay from the only person everyone in the universe trusts.
Oh Riley. What would they do without him?
Clarke is very thirsty for friends right now. Also, is it just me, or does Roan get this “way to go, kid” look on his face every time Clarke defies him and / or commits acts of horrible violence? I’m getting a strong big-brother-little-sister vibe from these two and I am ABOUT IT.
Ohhhh man! Echo was so peeved about being left behind! Also peeved was our favourite character Riley, who had the notion to kill the Ice King out of vengeance for something he wasn’t responsible for, despite it being a terrible idea that would get all his friends killed.
I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but maaaaaaybe Riley isn’t the gallant hero we all thought he was? But then Riley saw sense and didn’t do anything else totally stupid. Whew!
Of course this scenario got Bellamy noodling on the whole ‘Octavia is dead’ situation.
The relieved / hopeful expression on his face was heart-wrenching and maybe Bob Morley should stop being such a good actor because this is too much (never stop).
Octavia woke up and Niylah was all, “some super dreamy dude saved your life.” And Octavia was like, “that little rascal!”
Haha, Ilian was SO CHILL during all of this. He was just casually giving himself a tour, gathering explosive supplies, and following wires, like it was no big deal. Love this kid.
Raven’s brain IS magic!! Abby started this scene like one of those people who go to a magic show all, “this is stupid,” and by the show’s finale they have bought a magic-starter-kit online and wait at the stage door for an autograph from the rabbit. Oh, and also A ROCKET SHIP, YOU GUYS! Get ready to traverse the galaxy on intergalactic trips to Pigfarts.
Back in their ‘no adults allowed’ tree-fort, Roan and Clarke were discussing some things.
They decided that they were going duct-tape a giant line down the ark, and Roan will stay on his side, and Clarke will stay on hers, and even though Roan has the bathroom, it’s totally cool because Clarke has the TV, and they’ll figure out the bunk-beds later. Oh, and they did a “blood brothers” thing that looked very uncomfortable.
Monty noticed that a certain little gremlin had scampered off to start a devastating war, so he did what any TRUE hero does.
He gave everyone the skinny on what good ol’ Riles was up to, and everyone was all, “nuh uh, not Riley, he wouldn’t do that, no way.”
So off Bellamy and Echo went to stop his BFF from sparking an all-out bloodbath. What zany antics these guys get into!
Back at ALIE Island, the nerds figured out what was making Raven’s brain magic.
This was tough, and may I say, DON’T YOU DARE, SHOW. Our precious, glorious, kick-ass, awesome Goddess Raven is being slowly murdered by her magic brain, and she’s being a total champ about it, and I am UPSET. Also upsetting to note is that Abby and Raven have been a team since episode 2 of season 1, which means they’ve been through so much, so many ups and downs, hopes and losses, and this is UPSETTING!!
Meanwhile, Bellamy and Echo had a fun chat about how war is the worst (FACT) and how it makes everyone jerks (FACT), then they found Bellamy’s BFF.
Bellamy got Riley to stop trying to murder everyone through a very inspirational speech about not being jerks during war. Way to go, dudes!
Back in Ark Camp, Octavia and Niylah (why do I love Niylah so much, you guys???) found Ilian in the server room, about to light shit up.
MAN OH MAN! This was unexpected! Ilian, you sexy pyro!!
Everyone arrived back at the Ark in time to watch it burn to the ground, and what followed was an amazing montage of devastated, unbelieving, horror-filled, stricken faces. The best, though, were these two clowns:
Echo and Roan stole this episode with all their sassy annoyed looks to one another. You two stop being so saucy! (never stop)
Bellamy’s reunion with Octavia was pretty great, but then was eclipsed by this:
CLARKE AND OCTAVIA WERE HOLDING HANDS THESE TWO HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AND THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND LADY-FRIENDSHIP AND OH MY HEART.
Then we cut to Abby hallucinating her daughter, and it did not go well.
Abby’s brain is broken, too!! Love this show.
WELP! There goes that back-up plan. I honestly loved this development so much. For 5 episodes our dutiful Adventure Squad toiled and worked away at a possible solution from certain death, and for a millisecond everything seemed to be okay, but then NOPE. What an absolute delight.
How are you guys feeling? Devastated for our poor Arkers? Giddily excited to find out what the eff is going to happen to the surrogate-sibling’s truce? Worried for Raven (obviously)? Mad at Riley? Wildly curious about his FREAKING DEAL?? Did you miss Jasper’s snark or Murphy’s ‘tude? Are you curious where everyone is going to go to the bathroom now? All of the above?
You guys, it’s a whole new ball game and I am so damn pumped for the next episode.
- What do we think would have happened if Octavia hadn’t made it in time to warn them? Would Roan have slaughtered everyone? Would he have come up with an excuse NOT to kill his surrogate little-sister, like “oops, my shoe is untied, better turn back.”
- Niylah got Clarke to SMILE!!!! This is huge.
- Octavia loves getting injured and /or poisoned, falling unconscious and hazily awaking to a dreamy grounder helping her. I don’t blame her, it seems like a fun pastime.
- What do you think Raven’s happy thought was? Being awesome? Ice cream? A shirtless Wick scrounging for parts?
- Was anyone inside the Ark when Ilian unceremoniously blew it up without warning? He’s not a mass murderer, right? I mean, he DID save Octavia and Niylah from burning to death, so… redeemed?
- What logic vs. emotions battle have you had lately? All of mine involve snacks, obviously.
- Is anyone else weirdly in the mood for spider-dogs and s’mores, or is that super insensitive?
Okay bye, until next time!
[Originally Posted March 2017 on tv.com]
One thought on “The 100 “The Tinder Box” Photo Recap – Explosive News (4.5)”
ORIGINAL POST COMMENTS:
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BeautifulCreepster Jun 03, 2017
Is it just me or has Octavia’s hair started to develop into dreadlocks? I don’t think she’s washed it since season 1 and honestly half the time when I’m watching the show I end up making bad jokes to myself about the state of her hair. Octavia’s hair is so greasy she can’t stand close to a fire because its downright flammable. Her hair’s so greasy they squeeze the oil out of it and use it to power the rover.
TellyMelly Mar 18, 2017
My life is now complete again.
I am so happy to see Toni is still kickin around in here with the AMAZBALL recaps, I love them soooo much 🙂
Klaussays Feb 26, 2017
Wow im late…
peterspoor33 Feb 17, 2017
So I’m a little late to the party… Did we all survive the city of light with it’s icecream and coffee shops? How’s my main man Pike?….. Oh… Ewww….,,
peterspoor33 Feb 17, 2017
On another topic – yeah, those eyes were just freakishly piercing and then holy blghrrjk!!!! Her fight was over!
LibrariansAtTheGates Feb 10, 2017
Muchas gracias (nachos!) for the recap, Toni! I sorta zoned out after the whole bare-chested Roan thing, so glad I have you to fill in all the blank spaces in my mind…(uh oh, and I’m off again…) Now, can we finally get that EPIC Adventure Squad road trip and get out (and stay out) of that depressing Polis with its hideous decor and glum nightlife? Frankly, I’d take mutated apes and melting pyramids any day over that dump.
peterspoor33 Feb 17, 2017
Yay!! Concur. Best recaps …EVER!!
and Polis is definitely looking a little mingin’ I mean it’s got to have lost a couple of Michelin stars since Lexa’s administration days.
KylieKerosene Feb 09, 2017
This is one of the best things I’ve ever read. I was unable to watch the premiere so went looking for a recap before the new episode and stumbled upon this. So glad I did. Freaking hilarious, and wise too. I was giggling out loud almost constantly while reading it. Just made an account on this site all because of this recap!
Savvytvfan91 Feb 06, 2017
Turned to my friend during the episode (don’t worry only Jahahaha was talking so it didn’t matter) and said I can’t wait to read the recap for this. And it was beautiful.
Also at the end with the desert lady it looked like Pyramids in the background, was this our first look of the word outside of North American East coast?
cathemeral Feb 06, 2017
“a VERY SHADY hologram who doesn’t even sing or have a double life as a music producer”
LOL @ ALIE as an evil, genocidal version of Synergy. Now imagine further, if you will, an animated musical version of The 100 starring Clarke and her alter-ego Wanheda.
Clarke is excitement
Clarke is adventure
Squalor and murder
Mayhem and pain
Clarke is truly courageous
Truly, truly, truly courageous
The radiation’s contagious, outrageous
Clarke is her name
No one else is the same
Clarke is her name
But we’re Azgeda
our tribe is better
We are Azgeda, Azgeda
and we’re gonna Az-get her!
Toni_watches Feb 06, 2017
nickmoose Feb 04, 2017
Good to see the beloved Toni_watches has not been compromised by the weird TV Guide/TV.Com merger takeover thing! Seeing this review posted made me feel warm and fuzzy, the same way I feel whenever I see a mutant gorilla bounding across an apocalyptic Hell-scape! Great episode, of course, that goes without saying but I do have one question: Why did Raven refuse to let Jasper pour her any coffee? She was acting like he was trying to give her booze. I’m guessing he spiked it? Irished it up a little ? I would be spiking my coffee too if my best friend was hooking up with a hot chick and my girlfriend’s face recently melted and I suddenly found myself liking Adele.
Toni_watches Feb 04, 2017
I thought it WAS booze! I could be wrong. Possibly made from the still that my late husband Sinclair made?
Amifant Feb 04, 2017
Thanks so much for continuing to do these recaps, Toni – I look forward to them almost as much as I look forward to new episodes of the show! You are the best!!
daisymae2u Feb 03, 2017
Toni, you are the whipped cream and cherry on a The 100 sundae!!! I was super excited to see your recap after that awesome premier. I was not disappointed. I am so glad smell-o-vision is not a real thing. I am so glad you are back. I cannot wait to find out what is in store for us this season. Keep typing, and snacking:-)
fededededededede_lv Feb 03, 2017
DAMN, IT’S GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK!
mellafe Feb 03, 2017
I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH. *holds back tears*
Toni! As soon as Kane and Indra looked at each other, I was a puddle of goo on the floor. I’m all for the Kabby stuff, I love those two, but nothing gives me the kind of joy I feel when Kane and Indra look at each other and let the world know they’re BFFs. And I LOVED that it was Indra who sorta-hugged him first. LOVED IT.
I’d completely forgotten Jasper got shot. I am, however, impressed by his penmanship, the “Monty” on that envelop is making me jealous.
In the very shallow spectre of things: love Bellamy’s hair and that his bloodied face is gone (now I can see his beautiful freckles), Echo is super hot, I’m all for Murphy smiling, and the electricity between Kane and Abby is giving me hope. Maybe that’s the key to saving the world. I don’t know. If I had 6 months to live I’d be partying like there was no tomorrow. Ha. Ok, I’m done. :p
DalekSpider Feb 03, 2017
I think my biggest reaction to this episode (which was just awesome in every way) was the BFF hug between Kane and Indra. I didn’t know how MUCH I needed them to have that hug until it happened, and it was staged just completley UTTERLY perfectly. There may have been a little dance i did, there may even have been some fist pumps. I might still be dancing on my own, to the strange music in my head…
Anyways. Seriously, for the studpidly little time these two characters have had onsceen together I think thay have managed to convey the utter core of the show at the time they are on the screen, in just a few seconds with no words (again! – cos it happened througout series 3.). Just think about the greeting in Polis way back in early series 3, then later on when she saves him from the bomb and to now. How many words? very few, but the way those two actors interact … priceless.
I thought this entire epiosde was prety much pitch perfect. I even found myself sympathising with Jaha (don’t worry, it won’t last) but that was all to do with Kane’s “WE did this”.. oh bless! (but serioously the guy nailed you to a fecking CROSS aren’t you a bit pissed off?) . But no really, at that point my heart had already melted into a gooey puddle, this just dispersed it further to the far reaches of Kane-worship. Cos he, with ONE sentance made me feel for Jaha! I didn’t think that was possible.
But more improtantly, my life is complete. The recaps are back!
Toni_watches Feb 03, 2017
Someone in the props department obviously took a caligraphy course.
H2gold Feb 03, 2017
Yay…let the good times roll Toni is back with The 100, a win win situation.
rismo Feb 03, 2017
WELCOME BACK TONI …… BEST RECAPS EVER !!!!!
Zsa08 Feb 03, 2017
GODDAMN, I MISSED YOU, TONI!
Also, I was so very upset with Raven in pain, too! Roan mentioned he was the eldest, so they better give her some Hot Ice Nation Sibling Love Interest Who Won’t Get Themselves Axed From The Show (no one deserves it more than Raven, come on!).
Toni_watches Feb 03, 2017
Now that is ALL I want.
Felicity100 Feb 03, 2017
When I opened this recap, I remembered how much I miss Lexa’s puns and got sad because we’d never have them back. Can you imagine how surprised and happy I was? I guess, my neighbours heard me laughing!
The recap is wonderful as always! Missed you, Toni! You’re the best!
SammyMoynihan Feb 03, 2017
OMG where is Miller and Captain Big Arms? The amount of jizz these two have helped me produce defies logic so I was disappointed not to see them. Other than that, amazing episode and hilarious recap as always! I’ma make my death predictions for the season now:
Emori because they’ll discover that deformed mutant blood can heal radiation
ALL the adults because that would be such an intense plot twist to put the focus back on the hundred
Harper because the show can’t have anybody being happy. Soz Monty!
Captain Big Arms because Miller can’t be happy either. I’m so sorry guys, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles
Echo because I have a feeling the novelty will wear off and she’ll just be annoying soon
NOT INDRA! She is the greatest character of all time and they need to keep her forever and ever and possibly give her a spinoff show called Mornings With Indra.
That is all. Kthxbi xoxo
Charissa29 Feb 03, 2017
Ahh, lovely, silly, thoughtful plus Alexa puns, all is right in my world again. Heh. Happy.
ithinkwedeserveadrinkrn Feb 03, 2017
TONI IS BAAAAAAACK!!! I’M SO HAPPY!!! The premiere was amazing! But seriously, wtf is Jaha still on the show???
Robespierre Feb 03, 2017
Tony watches is back! 🙂 Awesome! :))))
Robespierre Feb 03, 2017
And the f*******ing edit button is STILL missing…. omg….
Juliuspepperwood Feb 02, 2017
Is anyone else hoping miller and millers dad(does he even have a name??) have finally reunited..is millers dad even still alive, I’m doubting myself.
Octavias murder face is up there with Patrick Bateman, what a gleeful assassin.
Hilarity resumes, great job x
Willow_Hunter Feb 02, 2017
WELCOME BACK!!! I’ve been checking all day, fingers and toes crossed, that you would be back with your AWESOME and HILARIOUS recaps this season. THANK YOU!!!
WizardSquid Feb 02, 2017
After reading your recaps after every episode last season I had to make an account to let you know how much I love reading these and how glad I am you’re doing the new season. You’re awesome, thanks for the laughs!
LoisWinchester37 Feb 02, 2017
I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU. BEST FUCKING RECAPS EVER.