The 100 “Acceptable Losses” Photo Recap – You Better Check Yourself Before You Wreck the Literal Vestiges of Humanity (5.7)

“Hey Toni.”

Oh, Hey The 100, how are-

“I got you a gift! Sorry, got excited. Didn’t mean to cut you off. I’m good. Really good. Open your gift! Open your gift! No wait – I want to take a video…. Okayyyyyyy now open your gift!”

OMG you shouldn’t have this is – owe! Oh, owey, why is my gift hurting my feelings?

*laughing* “I got you so hard… look at your face! Hahaha, oh man, but seriously do you like it?”

YOU KNOW THAT I DO.

You guys it’s been so long how are you even DOING RIGHT NOW??? Let’s be totally honest, this episode was a one-two punch of everything we’ve (I’ve) wanted, with a dash of kick-to-your-heart upsettingness (which shall henceforth be a word).

THE LETTER. Monty read Jasper’s letter. How many times have I yearned for it?? Someone go back and count how many times I’ve mentioned how badly I wanted to know what was in that damn letter, and then this episode just up and GAVE IT TO ME LIKE IT WAS MY VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY. But then it was like, “you’re welcome, oh and by the way, Kane and Abby’s Sexual Tension is in TROUBS.” BUT THEN, it was like, “it’s a Monty-heavy episode”, and I was like OMG THANKS! but then it was all, “but Indra is going to be sad.” and I just sighed and was like, why do you have to ruin every moment of pure joy??? and then The 100 shrugged like a cheeky rascal, and I can’t stay mad.

[Is it weird that I personified a television show as if it’s my friend. Let’s not think about it]

Diyoza showing around the deserters was pure delight. I love how ruthless yet civilized she is! She confuses my heart so much! Every time she’s on screen I’m like, “ohhhhhhh what’s she up to??? I hope she invites me!”

Anyway, she told the newbies that they have to stay in their rooms until they can sort of their registrations or whatever.

I WORRY. Abby isn’t doing so great, you guys. She claims to need the pills to function, but then she takes a quick meditation in the middle of an operation, so… I don’t know man. And apparently neither does the Kane half of Kane and Abby’s Sexual Tension, because he seems pretty darn fed up.

Baaaahahhahah Bellamy dissed Octavia so hard! She was all, “thank for everything bro!” and he was all, “new phone who dis?” and she was piiiiiiiiissed. These two!

Then Clarke was momming so hard all over Madi, and made her promise to be bad at everything so no one would notice her. It’s funny because my mom gave me the same advice right before *I* started school, and THAT’S why I was bad at everything, don’t listen to anyone who tells you different. Anyway, then Clarke took THE LETTER to Monty.

When he didn’t immediately read it I exclaimed to my empty apartment; “if we don’t get to hear what’s in that letter AGAIN, I will RIOT.” We didn’t get immediate gratification because then stupid Kara came in with a dead body, and it was INTRIGUE TIME!

They’re breeding the worms!!! It’s so gross! And diabolical! And genius! But mostly gross!

Echo and Raven!! Have you ever seen a more kick-ass team of awesome ladies? Imagine these two in the same room with Clarke and Diyoza and Octavia and Indra and Emori and wait why am I crying? Oh right, because I love this show so much. *ahem* I AM HUMAN TOO, YOU GUYS (mostly). Anyway, Echo filled Raven in on the the plan, so everyone can rest easy because Raven’s on the case.

Echo and Raven!! Have you ever seen a more kick-ass team of awesome ladies? Imagine these two in the same room with Clarke and Diyoza and Octavia and Indra and Emori and wait why am I crying? Oh right, because I love this show so much. *ahem* I AM HUMAN TOO, YOU GUYS (mostly). Anyway, Echo filled Raven in on the the plan, so everyone can rest easy because Raven’s on the case.

Bellamy ain’t no fool. He knows any situation is made 100% better by including Indra, even though he was there when she was almost murdered by Pike’s Stupid Face (member that?? What a life these kids have led).

“Dioza’s not as bad as you think, and I’m not as good as you hoped.” = amazing line.

Just like THE LETTER, I’ve been begging for Good Cop’s backstory since we saw his dreamy face. And this episode delivered! HE was the one who let the prisoner’s free! He didn’t agree with leaving them to die like trash. Anyway, bottom line, he didn’t agree to take Raven to the mothership, so she had to go back to the drawing board.

Diyoza and Echo had an awesome-off and it was electric. Echo admitted to being a spy by profession, and Diyoza was like, “cool, an excuse to constantly watch you, foxy lady.” Then Kane told Diyoza that she’s messing with Kane and Abby’s Sexual Tension by giving Abby her tweaker-pills, and she was like, “AND?”

Meanwhile, Madi was looking sooooo bored at training, and Gaya was like, “kid, you need to sell it better.” and Madi was like, *deep put-upon sigh* because you can tell girl is itching to show her skillz.

 

Madi was ABOUT that matrix bug!! I’m a little confused about this, so maybe someone can educate me. Is Lexa still in there? Is the knowledge of all the past commanders still intact – is the matrix bug still connected to anything now that the City of Bullshit is gone?

Anyway, Adventure Squad Ma and Pa showed Indra the worms, and she was displeased.

They called out Octavia for being 100% heartless, and she was like, “meh, I gots ta do me, ya know?”

Thing is, as always, both sides are right, and both sides are wrong. This IS a genius way to win an unwinnable war. It is also horrible; truly, disgustingly horrible, and you’d have to be a sociopath to think it’s an acceptable thing to do. WHAT FUN!

Also, when Bellamy was listing off all the people they love in the valley I was like, “and Emori, Bellamy… AND EMORI,” but then I instantly forgave him by virtue of the fact that he was talking to Octavia. Has Octavia even met Emori? I can’t remember, but all of a sudden, it’s everything I want. How would THAT meeting go???

Then we finally, finally got to hear THE LETTER…

This was… Christopher Larkin… *standing ovation*. This was horrible and beautiful and my heart hurts. It reinforced Monty’s belief that humans are stupid, and all they do is fight, and he just plum doesn’t want to anymore. Fair enough, bud!

Meanwhile, Octavia was throwing a hissy at the coolest woman ever to roam the post-apocalypse, and Indra handled the situation like a veteran babysitter waiting for her to tantrum herself to sleep.

Indra called out Octavia for breeding the worms behind her back, and Octavia called out Indra for helping Kane, and Octavia kicked her out, and I’m not sure if it was out of the room or out of Wonkru, and I AM UPSET. This was hard to watch. ‘Member when Indra trained Octavia how to be a warrior? ‘Member THAT, Octavia??? Hmmmmmm??? Anyway. Neither of them are right (Indra is right) and neither of them are wrong (it’s not Indra, I can tell you that), as per usual.

Then Echo, being the wily fox she is, used her electric connection with Diyoza to set up a little show and tell with Raven on the mothership.

Raven was NOT pleased about selling out Nice Cop, but she did it anyway, knowing that if she didn’t, she’d be jeopardizing the whole shebang. Tell me which of these ladies is right, and which one is wrong. Go on, tell me. YOU CAN’T, CAN YOU? Anyway, Echo got the whatsit into the thingy while Raven showed Diyoza all the hot betrayal, so now Wonkru can take out the Eye Spy in the Sky.

Then The 100 decided to fill my chest with hot lava.

I’m upset.

Diyoza is pregnant!! And it’s McCreary’s! I assume. I don’t know her life, and no judgement. Also, Dioza is pregnant!!

Clarke and Bellamy saw that Echo had plugged in the doodad, and they were like, “yeahhhhhh nope,” and decided to skedaddle with their pals and surrogate child in order to save everyone in Valleyville before the worms can Tremors them to death. Buuuuuuut…

This whole scene, with the cuts to Good Cop post-beat-down, Raven’s tears, Echo’s remorse, and Madi’s fight, with the song in the background, Octavia’s steely stare, and Clarke and Gaya’s anxiety… just… *chefs kiss*. It was beautiful and upsetting, and that’s what we’re here for.

Anyway, Madi wasn’t capable of not kicking ass, so now Octavia has claimed her as her second, which means there’s no possibility of the Adventure Squad running away.

Gahhhhhhhh!!!! Clarke got on the radio with Diyoza and was all, “change in plans, kiddos, we’re gonna take out Octavia instead of doing this whole war thing.”

You know what I love best about this show besides the hugs and the moral grayness and the kickass women and the character relationships and the mutated gorilla? I love that we never know what the hell is going to happen. The 100’s favourite past-time is to throw us through all the loops, and I love them for it.

Clarke will do anything to protect Madi, and that includes taking out a slightly sociopathic old friend, regardless of whose sister she is. Now, what she means by “take her out” is still up for debate. Does she mean kill her? Take away her power? Lock her in a funhouse of mirrors? Who knows. But we’ll find out next week, and I CANNOT WAIT!

How are you guys feeling after this rollercoaster of delightful anguish? Were you just so happy to have Monty be the focus for a bit that you were fine with whatever else happened? Was your anxiety through the roof? Basically what I’m asking is, how much ice cream is required right now?

SOME STUFF

• I have had an alarming amount of coffee. Does this recap seem more manic than usual? Naw, I’m fine. I miiiiiiiiiight be able to fly now, but I won’t test it. Or should I? I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. I should probably have some more coffee. By the way – you guys can still see the colour pink, right? It didn’t, like… disappear? No reason!

 

• How IS Madi so awesome at fighting? She had some training as a child, sure, but then she spent 6 peaceful years in FurnGully with Clarke – a woman known for pulling levers, not actual combat.

 

• Don’t think I didn’t love that Monty/Bellamy broment. “Make algae not war.” Bellamy as everyone’s older brother is the light in the darkness.

 

• I worry about Marie Avgerapoulos’s vocal cords. Drink some tea, girl.

 

• What do you guys think Emori and the Beautiful Creepster are up to right now? Are they choreographing a dance? Are they incorporating McCreary into it Weekend at Bernie’sstyle?

 

• How many of you were SO SURE the dead body intrigue would be about cannibalism?

 

• Kane advocating for the slow painful death of the prisoners was jarringly un-Kane.

 

• One of my favourite things is when someone is all, “Monty, you can’t do that, it’s impossible.” and he gives them THIS LOOK:

Okay love you bye!

[Originally Posted June 2018 on tv.com]