WELLLLLLLLLHHHEEEELLLLLLLLOOOO there, you sexy plot bombs and also literal bombs! It was very nice to make your acquaintance.
Exit Wounds was having a good time, you know what I mean? I feel like, in its own twisted way, The 100 was all, “you guys have had it rough for a bit, here’s some good ol’ fashioned fun.” And it WAS! We got zig zags, make-outs, necktrocuters, NIYLAH (hi Niylah!), some whaaaaa?? moments, and above all else, Monty doing what Monty does best: nerding.
For the obvious reason (no Raven) this can’t be ranked as one of my favs of season 5, but I did like it, so let’s dive in!
Clarke was patching up Octavia while Madi watched like an overenthusiastic adorable little creeper, and O was all, “how’d you survive?” and Clarke was like, “SCIENCE! We scienced her. It’s boring, you don’t want to hear about it. Tell me about YOU, girl! Are those dreadlocks, or…?” If we have learned anything in season 5, it’s that Clarke is terrible at lying. Was she always this bad? I don’t remember. I suppose 6 years of only interacting with one person will do that to you.
After taking a stroll through some serious side-eye, Kara was all, “remember when I was the worst?” and Octavia was like, “WAS??” and they laaaaaaaughed, and Kara was like, “seriously though, the same type of rebellion that I pulled is fo shizzle possible right now,” and Octavia was like, “no one says fo shizzle, by order of Blodraina.”
This was ELECTRIC. Do I want these two amazingly fierce women to become best friends? YOU KNOW THAT I DO. I am honestly shocked they haven’t already bonded over their mutual love of murder. They have each now tried to kill each other, let’s call it even, ladies! You know you want to compare battle scars and out-vote Bellamy every time they order take-out. Ugh, anyway, instead of realizing their obvious connection, Octavia announced to everyone that Echo is Banished to the Black Hole (yes, that was a Nightmare the Video Board Game reference, why do you ask?)
This was such a smart / Kane thing to do!!! Give the starving people food. It A) helps feed starving people, and B) gets them to like you so so much. And even though Octavia burned the food (c’mon, girl), it still worked!
After Diyoza told Kane all about how “fostering dissent is like a seduction” (I SEE YOU, DIYOZA), she had a bit of a stare-down with McCreary about whether or not to murder all the people, and then whether or not to murder Kane (I WOULD RIOT). Basically what we learned is that McCreary loves murder, and we’re all, ‘ummmm, who doesn’t on this show, buddy? Get in line!’
Meanwhile, Octavia was hosting her own Murder Club when the Spaceventure Squad + Clarke busted in and was all, “don’t murder please?” but also “here’s a solution to all your probs!”
Ahhhh Monty, I truly wish you had more to do, but I trust that your time to shine will come. Anyway, he’s going to do some nerd magic that will stop Diyoza’s epic game of Eye-Spy.
Gaya was NOT buying it, and girl is very into effing some shit up right now. You guys, Gaya is so complex and foxy and scary, and I am here for it.
Siblings are hard, ammiright? Seriously though, this scene GOT ME. For but a moment as she stared at the face of her brother who was pleading with her to meet him halfway, we saw her armour fall, and the old Octavia popped her little head out. I have said since day one that these two are the beating heart of this show, and I am very happy to be SO RIGHT ALL THE TIME.
YESSSSSS Octavia strolled in on Echo being all selfless and awesome, and was like, “Fiiiiiiine be my spy or whatever,” and Echo was on board!
Everything about the Emori / Beautiful Creepster storyline this episode was pure delight. First she tried getting the necktrocuter off him and kept shocking him, then they bantered, then they decided to go to the rocket for some supplies, even though it would draw McTriggerHappy. I mean, the obvious joke here would be to say it was electric, but I won’t, even though it WAS.
Meanwhile, a dangerously sympathetic couple approached Echo to defect, and she was like, “sure, sure, sure, cool, no big,” and went to Bellamy all, “I am WAY too awesome for this kind of BS,” so he and Monty came up with a Spaceventure Plan where she doesn’t have to turn-coat on a bunch of innocent people.
Monty needs a computer thing to go into a different computer thing behind enemy lines, and Echo is just the sexy spy to do it!
Octavia is on board! And she promised to let them all defect and not murder anyone! I’m sure it’ll be fine. Anyway, Monty gave her the whatsit in a bracelet, and they HUGGED, and it was magic. Then there was some #Becho sexy time, which I can’t snark at because A) it was touching (he he) and B) YOU try screen-grabbing a sexy-time scene and not feel like a total creep.
Niylah (HI NIYLAH!!!!) saw right through Clarke immediately, but then they heard a russtlin’ outside and Niylah was knocked out.
Gaya was about to straight-up murder Niylah (don’t you dare!) for knowing about Madi. Then Clarke was all, “get outta here, ya wacko, I got this.” Ohhhhhhhhh as expected, Gaya is VERY PUMPED to have a for-realsies natblida on the premises. Girl’s loyalties are SHADY, and I LOVE IT.
Anyway, then Niylah woke up and was all, “yeahhhhhhh I’m gonna have to report to management about this,” but Clarke negotiated a day to “tell Octavia herself” (read: skedaddle).
Clarke was VERY ready to march back to Valley Camp and die so that Madi could be out of danger, and Madi was all, “okaayyyyyyyyyyy…”
In a beautifully heartbreaking scene that I can’t even snark at, we found out what went down between Emori and the Beautiful Creepster. It had always been them against the world, but then all of a sudden they had a small community, and Emori was excelling within that community, and Murphy got threatened and pushed her away. Was it a douche move? Yeah, it was. But he’s only human, a beautifully creeping human, and I just love these two so much, and what was I even talking about? Oh, right, they got the necktrocuter off and set a trap!
It worked! And in between the bomb successfully going off and them realizing they now have a hostage in the form of a murder-loving masochist, they made-out a ton, and were about to sexy-time, and yes, I also felt like a perv screen-grabbing it, so no creepy pictures for you!
As soon as Echo and the Defectors (name of their cover band) started to run for the ship, they started to get snipered to death.
Octavia ordered Kara to shoot at the people fleeing for freedom. Was it a monstrous thing to do? Sure, yeah. Was it also strategically the best move? Yes also. Because this show is so damn gray we wouldn’t be able to see it on a cloudy day. Girl had a point! If she simply let the defectors go, Diyoza would have caught on, and Echo would have failed. Also, now her people fear defecting. Also on the other side – that couple was so sympathetic and now I’m mad! THIS SHOW, ammiright, guys?!?!
Madi told Octavia the truth about her possible ability to destroy everything Octavia stands for, and it went shockingly well! She starts training soon! What a deliciously dangerous situation for everybody!
Echo hid the drive in that lady’s bullet wound!! HAHAHAHAHHAHA x forever, I love it and I love her. Kane 100% recognized Echo, right?? Would he even know where she’s been this whole time? Would he know she’s in the opening credits? Would he help her if he knew? Gahhhh so much tension!
And that’s that! Season 5 is cruising along, and Exit Wounds was a rip-roarin’ good time. Lots of character development, and lots of “awwwwww shit!” which, let’s be honest, is why we’re all here (that plus hugs).
How are you guys feeling? Are you scared of / for Octavia? Were you just so damn happy to see a tiny glimmer of the Octavia we knew? Did her screaming at her brother to get in the bunker when she thought they were being bombed make your heart grow a size or seven? Me too. It’s a problem, medically.
Now, I would be remiss if I didn’t address the sexy, glorious Echo-shaped-elephant in the virtual room. I know there’s going to be some backlash, because this fanbase is so very passionate. Let’s all just remember that this is a show we love. It is made by real people. A real, awesome person is portraying this character, so let’s keep that in mind as we all take to twitter. As for the character herself – yes, it was fun to hear Octavia list her crimes like that. I wonder what it would sound like if someone listed Octavia’s crimes. Or Bellamy’s. Or Clarke’s. Or Riley’s (the REAL star of this show, RIP). Yes, Echo has done some stuff. But as Bellamy said – so has literally every character on this show.
I like Echo, but more importantly, I like ice cream, and that is winning my attention right now, so I have to go.
- Were Raven and Nice Cop just sitting in whatever swank cell he’s hooked her up with, talking about nerd stuff, trying SO HARD not to make out?
- Does Ethan still exist? Will we see him next episode when Madi starts her plot-twist-training?
- Very nice to see Niylah wasn’t eaten, and also nice to see her sooooooo drunk on that Kool-Aid. This is the opposite of what I would have expected of her character, and I like it when my expectations are blown to pieces.
- Yes, I know baloney is spelled bologna, but you would be surprised how often a non-phonetic spelling will ruin a written joke!
- Watching Miller stop Clarke from entering the meeting hurt my feelings.
- How is Gaya dying her hair blonde? I dig it, girl is so foxy, but… I don’t think there are platinum berries, are there?
- There is another break next week. What will you be doing to pass the time? Eating your feelings? Hahahaha, me either! *wipes ice cream from chin*
K, see you in 2 weeks, stay safe out there!
[Originally Posted June 2018 on tv.com]