Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.
Heh. … heh.
Look, I know you came here for jokes, but I just don’t know how successful I’ll be in trying to laugh through the pain this time. I’ve recapped this show since the very first episode, and even when I was devastated, frustrated, or enraged by character choices, I still found something positive about the episode, and the general direction the show was heading. I respected it, and I trusted everyone who made it.
I’m sorry, you guys, but not even I can find something good about this nonsense. I feel… hurt? That’s weird, right? It’s a weird thing to admit that a television show has the power to hurt your feelings, as if it’s a good friend who sent you a bag of poo on your birthday. But that’s where I’m at.
Other stuff happened this episode that was great, of course. The reunion of Raven and Murphy (though for them it’s only been… what, a week?), Sheid was taken down, Indra remains the baddest of asses, there was a Josephine cameo, and I was correct about the gang being on Earth. So. Yay? All of that is a bit eclipsed by the unceremonious and needless murder of the show’s male lead by its heroine.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Call Me Bill had zero patience for any of the bullshit happening on Sanctum, and honestly, SAME. This was so satisfying. Within minutes, Invisijerks showed up, took out Sheid’s possy, stabbed him in the tum-tum, and tied him up with Indra. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Call Me Bill left Dr. Gabe to tend to his wounds, because he truly does not give an eff who’s in charge, or who’s sitting on a throne of ex-god bones.
More importantly, though, they all FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO THE FACT THAT GAIA IS LEGIT MISSING, though I’m sure we’ll see her next episode ON EARTH (right guys?? I’m totally right).
Radioactive Kru were having a great time chilling in the reactor core, petting Picasso and breaking down cultural barriers, but they were feeling peckish, and weren’t super crazy about the hooligans trying to break down the doors. But don’t worry guys, the Beautiful Creepster’s new best friend had just ALLLLLLLL the faith that he would solve everything no matter what. Hey guy! Maybe you’re trading one weird responsibility-absolving obsession for another? Maybe try doing something for yourself? I don’t know.
After some pontificating from Call Me Bill that had Raven and Murphy eye-rolling at each other SO HARD (I love them), they all caught each other up on A, B, and even C plots. This resulted in a pretty great scene that showcased the absolute ease of the Murvin friendship. More please. You know… now that we need a new heart. *intense frown*
Bellamy wanted to be a good boi and get his tummy rubbed by Call Me Bill, but he ALSO wanted to still be respected by his loved ones, which was too tall an order to manage, apparently. Bill was all, “you can’t have both, so eff everything you’ve built over the past 7 seasons and make me some iced tea, I’m parched.”
I’m guessing this was to show Bellamy’s conviction or whatever, ugh, I just can’t.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner’s on me!
Anyway, then the red sun alarm went off, and Emori, in a stroke of genius, let the flesh-eating bugs into their dome-home, and the ol’ ‘get to safety’ scramble started.
Okay firstly, it was SO NICE to have so much Jackson this episode. Secondly, he and Gabe sciencing at each other was DOING IT FOR ME. Thirdly, Jackson asking about his one true love filled my heart with joy, especially after their non-goodbye when Miller took off on his space adventure.
Also, hello Hallucina-Jo! Oh man, this was a nice infusion of sassy energy that this season sorely needs. I miss Josephine so much, and it was such an awesome surprise to see her as a hallucina-harbinger of red-sun doom. She was all, “fix the matrix bug and take the test or start the war or become best friends with Becca or whatever,” and Gabe was like, “have you MET Call Me Bill? That guy should not end up being right.” And Jo shrugged all, “I’m in your mind, so make of this convo what you will.”
Clarke returned with the flame and a convenient amount of anti-toxin, and Call Me Bill, in a supreme gotcha-attempt, was like, “This is just for your daughter!” and Clarke was like, “It’s in our best interest to not be tripping violent balls right now, which would put us all, including my daughter, in danger.” And Call Me Bill, instead of being like, “Oh damn, you’re right, thanks,” said, AND I QUOTE; “Another lesson in the destructive use of familial love.” Um, hi, what? Without it, you would all be raging at ghosts, so like, maybe stop spouting nonsense for a hot sec and be useful for once.
[I realize that this line is setting up what Clarke later does for her ‘familial love’, but it would work a lot better as foreshadowing if bringing the anti-toxin actually WAS destructive and not 100% smart and helpful.]
What kind of shoes to ninjas wear?
Anyway, they got through the reactor door and reunions abounded, complete with smiles and hugs (my favourite), with a side of post-murder guilt for Raven.
Clarke handed over the flame, and Madi was all, “That dude is in my dream-reruns, and he’s not my fav,” and Clarke was like, “This must remain a secret forever,” and Madi was like, “Oh, um, a bunch of people already kno-” and Clarke was like, “Hmm, what? I didn’t hear you,” and Madi was like, “I made this secret into a graphic novel,” and Clarke was like, “I’m sure it’s fine.”
Then Emori reunited with Bellamy and we were reminded that 1) Emori is frickin awesome, and we all wish she would come to our birthday parties, and 2) Bellamy is her family, and 3) he is STILL IN THERE, even if he’s going through a weird robe phase.
Nikki’s storyline didn’t really go anywhere (she was hilariously bested by a teen in her big escape attempt), but at least she was able to bring Raven’s season 7 storyline full circle. She was about to kill her, but then decided that her own guilt is punishment enough, and was all, “Live with it, then,” and walked away all, “I’m one of the good guys now, maybe,”.
This is why we watch. Relationships. Murphy, Emori, and Clarke rushed in to save / comfort Raven, and we got a group hug – an actual Adventure Squad GROUP HUG. Holy cannoli did we (and this season) ever need it.
The invisijerks were getting a little red-sun-restless, but with a little teamwork, Indra was able to completely destroy them (naturally). She hallucina-saw her mother kneeling to Sheid, which was both a beautiful callback to her own actions to save Madi, and a solid motivation for a lil’ murder. But she didn’t kill Sheid, not only because she’s grown throughout this series (imagine that), but because she didn’t have to. Sheid is getting his worst nightmare – a boring death, slowly bleeding out on the floor from a sucker-punch stabbing. He doesn’t deserve Indra’s sword.
Gabe scienced the matrix bug back to life, all the while egged on by Halucina-Jo, but then his conscience was like, “Yeahhhhhhhh, maybe don’t?” and he shot the bug (LOL), and held the Shepherd at gunpoint.
Gabe has been a fascinating character from the start, and I’m pretty pleased with the way he turned out. He could’ve easily been one of those, “I did it for the science” types, but Gabe has a soul, and a sense of right and wrong, and likely the voice of Jordan Jasper Green in his head, adorably telling him that Call Me Bill has it all wrong.
With this turn of events, plus most of the invisijerks having been taken out by Indra, and Clarke killing Marv, the Squad had the upper hand, and decided to go after their pals. But whoopsie, their vacation spot is offline (EARTH!!) and only Call Me Bill knows the code, so he has to go along (he better not ruin the trip by insisting on an itinerary!).
Bellamy, however, didn’t get to go because of the weird cult phase he was going through.
He discovered the book Madi had been sketching her flashbacks in, and figured giving it to Call Me Bill was the best move. Clarke disagreed, so she shot him in the chest, and in the last moments of the episode we saw Bellamy Blake die.
Strange, seeing it written out like that, isn’t it? You’d think I would give it a bit more fanfare, considering the importance his death held. But… it didn’t, did it? The heart of this show didn’t go out a hero, he didn’t sacrifice himself to save others, he didn’t quietly fade surrounded by grieving loved ones, he wasn’t even on the same side as his squad… no, he died senselessly, needlessly, unceremoniously, and alone.
There were so many ways out of that situation that wouldn’t have ended with the murder of Clarke’s self-proclaimed best friend. The speed with which she decided to end his life wasn’t just disrespectful to the characters (and Bob Morley and Eliza Taylor), it was disrespectful to us. It was a, “Haha, you invested in these characters?? Well, joke’s on you! Don’t you feel SO stupid now??!?!?” Yes. Yes I do.
And in the end, she didn’t even recover Madi’s graphic novel. It was all for nothing.
Giving a character a ‘good death’ isn’t only about how they go out, it’s about how the people around them react. It’s about showing how much they were loved, and the impact they had not only on the story, but on the people in the story.
It’s Monty saying “I love you,” sobbing, as Jasper faded away, it’s Clarke desperately trying to save Lexa, it’s Raven’s scream as Finn was stabbed, it’s Abby begging Kane not to go, it’s Octavia’s rage watching Pike shoot Lincoln, it’s Jackson running to Abby, it’s Bellamy and Clarke’s shocked grief while watching Grandpa-Monty’s message.
Bellamy Blake was the heart of this show, and they killed him alone, with no loved ones except his murderer, who then left. His sister, his girlfriend, his found-family, they will all have to be told of his death second-hand… again. No one wept over his body. No one tried to save him. No one was there to ease his last moments, or even witness them.
Even the audience only had a fleeting moment with his death before the episode ended, leaving us feeling… nothing. There was no time to process, no time to grieve, no time to truly believe what we saw. Bellamy Blake, the leading man, the heart, was killed as an aside.
As for the big picture; the show’s message… I’m not sure I love what this says. Clarke had to kill Finn in season 2, which started a series-long losing streak that never let up. Now, three episodes before the series finale, she ‘had’ to kill Bellamy. Do we never change? Is there no “do better”? Is there no peace without extreme, violent sacrifice? Colour me naive, but I thought the last season would give us some sparks of hope. Instead it just feels like a cruel, unbreakable cycle.
All that being said, I don’t know, maybe the ending will surprise us. I’m not sure how I’ll feel if the answer truly is ‘transcendence’. But if it isn’t, Bellamy’s death will be so pointless. I’m going into the last three episodes with a broken heart, but also an open mind. I want this show to surprise me. I want to be satisfied.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy.
- This is the first time in 7 years that I haven’t been pumped to write a recap of this show.
- She shot him in the heart. THE HEART. That is some next level trolling, right there.
- The whole Clarke-killed-Bellamy thing can go two ways: everyone hates her again and she’s alienated and alone by the series’ end, OR, everyone forgives her because they, too, felt Bellamy wasn’t worth saving.
- At least we’ll be getting some reunions next week. #MacksonForever
- Raven and Murphy ribbing each other about their respective predicaments lifted my heart to new heights. I love this friendship so much.
- This episode didn’t just kill Bellamy, it also character-assassinated Clarke. After everything they’ve been through over the past 7 seasons – most recently Bellamy devoting the majority of season 6 to bringing her back from a body-napping – and she couldn’t give him a week or two to figure his shit out? This isn’t the Clarke we know.
- I don’t go on twitter while I’m writing my recaps, because I don’t want to be influenced by what other people are saying before I get my own thoughts down. I’m almost scared to check, but at the same time, I need to commiserate with you guys.
- Head trauma really is no big deal on television, eh? Part of me thinks Nikki let Raven live because she sustained brain damage and just plum forgot her husband existed.
- So, Octavia has lost her best-friend-domestic-life-partner and her brother in the same week, after losing every love interest she’s ever had, and being rejected by her people. And now she’s going to find out that her friend killed her brother. Hmmmmm… cool, cool cool.
- Hey, remember that time Clarke called Bellamy every single day for over 6 years? Hahahaha, what even ARE characters, ammiright?
- Marv suggesting they “execute the hostages and get goin’” felt a bit like the show saying, ‘don’t feel bad when Clarke kills him, he was going to kill Indra!’
- Of the original Adventure Squad, only Clarke, Raven and Murphy (who was a latecomer to the Squad, so I’m not even sure he counts) remain. Is it even a squad anymore? The Adventure Triad? The Adventure Couple?
- 2020 IS BAD ENOUGH YOU DON’T NEED TO HELP IT BE TERRIBLE.
- I’m sorry this recap wasn’t as funny, but uuuuuuuuggggggghhhhh *brain starts weeping*.
- As I’ve mentioned before, I have very little time to really hone my opinions before posting, so the thoughts you read in these recaps are my knee-jerk reactions. Perhaps I’ll see this episode differently with time, but as for right now, I’m feeling pretty hollowed out and just… sad, for all the wrong reasons.
This week’s JOKES FROM THE PAAAAAAAAAST goes to RedPhoenix91, and ninjachris3 for spotting Marv using Kane’s favourite bonding strategy:
OKAY WELL THANKS FOR COMING HAVE SOME ICE CREAM I HOPE EVERYONE FEELS BETTER SOON.